The Crap App!
10 years ago
β πΎβ FoxWolfieβ πΎβ
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Let's have a KIGU BUKKAKE party!

Did you ever wonder how blind persons know when they're done wiping after using the toilet? Or, what to do if go at night and the lights happen to be out? Well, the best you can do is guess and hope you got it all!
So, why not put your smart phone to good use and install the Crap App. Yes, the Crap App takes away any guessing, and alerts you if you might need to wipe more.
Upon finishing your bathroom business, just wipe as you normally would, and let your phone see the toilet paper you just wiped with. The Crap App will use your phone's camera to do a spectral analysis on the toilet paper. If the result is not clean, the phone will alert you to do another wipe.
The Crap App has white balance technology built in, so it works well with all colors of toilet paper that are commonly available. Also, the sensitivity is auto adjusted to work under any lighting conditions.*
The Crap App can also warn if it detects likely blood in your stool, and it will optionally remind you to wash your hands after each use.
The see who's using the Crap App at any moment, just click on the Crap App Map! From there, you can see which regions of the world require the most or the least wipes!
* requires a smart phone with a working flash
So, why not put your smart phone to good use and install the Crap App. Yes, the Crap App takes away any guessing, and alerts you if you might need to wipe more.
Upon finishing your bathroom business, just wipe as you normally would, and let your phone see the toilet paper you just wiped with. The Crap App will use your phone's camera to do a spectral analysis on the toilet paper. If the result is not clean, the phone will alert you to do another wipe.
The Crap App has white balance technology built in, so it works well with all colors of toilet paper that are commonly available. Also, the sensitivity is auto adjusted to work under any lighting conditions.*
The Crap App can also warn if it detects likely blood in your stool, and it will optionally remind you to wash your hands after each use.
The see who's using the Crap App at any moment, just click on the Crap App Map! From there, you can see which regions of the world require the most or the least wipes!
* requires a smart phone with a working flash
If it still stinks, keep wiping!
(you should be able to tell if there's a significant amount of poo on it while holding the paper though...)
But plastic membranes... the thought of that just doesn't sound right. A good idea, but then not a right-sounding idea.