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My first furcon experience at Furpocalypse 2019 + Photos!
5 years ago
Hey everyone! I am back from the day I spent at the convention and, in short, I wish I was there for longer! Alas, it was not meant to be! This, however, is a very important milestone for me as a furry. It's been five years since I first joined the fandom, and up until now, attending a convention seemed to be a pipe dream. Being in college hampered my attempts to come to the previous Furpocalypse cons, but now that I had some measure of freedom, I was able to attend, and boy, was it worth it! So, let me take a moment to summarize what my experience was like.
I walked in about 8:50 in the morning to go join the registration line. I stood in line quietly, waiting to get my badge and go do something. Unfortunately, the badge printers were down upon opening, so I had to wait about an hour longer than it normally would have taken. Standing there in line, I didn't talk to anyone, just stood, and waited. Needless to say, nervousness was very much getting the better of me. I thought to myself: This the the biggest concentration of furries I've ever been in. There are actual fursuiters here, and I'm here by myself! What am I going to do? (Note: despite being a furry for so long, up until today, I had never seen a fursuiter IRL. This was a big leap forward for me.)
After getting my badge, I walked around the Red Lion to see where everything would be taking place. It was the early morning, so there was little activity inside each of the rooms for panels, the dealers den, the main stage, and so on and so forth. I waited outside the dealer's den for them to open so I could see what was what, and upon entering, I saw a colorful array of flags, fursuits, art, and so much more! It was hard for me to look in one place at a time! Despite all this, what I was really there for was to see a good friend of mine,
Cyamallo. Up until then, I had only talked with him on Telegram, but after learning that he would be attending the convention, I catapulted at the chance to attend this year to meet him! He was doing sketches of people's fursonas on the back of old library cards, provided to him by a friend of his. He was busily sketching away on one when I went to meet him, so we only talked briefly. Seeing someone I knew did help to ease my nerves a bit. I was still really sheepish and nervous to interact with anyone I didn't know, though. (Note: As much as I like talking to folks, I am TERRIBLE at small talk.)
After meeting Scotch, I walked on over to the tabletop gaming room to see what it was all about. A few people had already started a session of DnD and various other roleplaying games on the tables. I sat down, looked at my phone, and tried my best to calm myself. I was shaking a little bit. Part of it was butterflies, part anxiety, and part fear. I had a bad mix of emotions in me at that point. Then, something very unexpected happened. I saw an old furry acquaintance of mine from the days of when I was just first becoming a furry, Thaddeus. We both had something in common: Magic The Gathering. He sat with me and we talked for awhile, and he gave me some really good advice: "Remember, you don't have to do absolutely everything here. You're here for a good cause, and to have fun! Take it at your own pace, and don't overwhelm yourself." As we played a couple games of EDH, I mulled over his advice, I felt he was right! After finishing, with less nervousness than before, I set out to the con floor to finally go meet some people.
It was around noon at that point, so fursuiters were beginning to line up for the parade. I decided to step outside of my comfort zone and wander into the main stage area, where everyone was gathered in waiting I was simply taken aback at how many fluffs and fuzzies were there. I didn't know any of them, and I wasn't sure about who to talk to! I wanted to get some photos (which I most certainly did) and to meet new people, so after spending a few minutes inside the main stage, I mustered up enough courage to go and talk with a fursuiter. The fursuiter in question whom I talked with, was none other than Zeni, the Lynx (who goes by ZeniLynx on telegram.)
I told him that I really liked his fursuit (which I most certainly did!) And that I wanted a hug and a photo. This was important to me, as he was the very first fursuiter I had ever interacted with. Let me say, hugging someone in a suit, is a feeling I had never felt up until now. It was like being wrapped in a fuzzy blanket, but with much more love and emotion. A mutual feeling of friendship and a common bond as members of the furry community. All of that wrapped into one, simple motion. I'm pretty sure I blushed.
After that, I walked outside the main stage so others could get in for the parade, which was about to start shortly. I found a spot to record it on my phone, and watched the incoming line of fuzzies waltz on by. Seeing all of these suiters, all with different outfits, personalities, and means of expressing it, made me really happy. It reminded me of my own fursona, how outgoing and sociable he is, and the parade reflected those characteristics in a myriad of colorful tails and scales. During the parade, I saw someone whom I also knew,
valdorfox. I was so excited to see him in the (flesh? Fur?) For the first time, as he was also one of the earliest furries I had known from my days of starting out as a new fur. And yes, he was as tall as he is in his photos! Seeing him turned a lot of my anxiety into joy, as I was able to point and say "Hey! I know this fox!" I had a hunch that he would be there, and I am so thankful he was.
I followed the tail (no pun intended) of the parade outside the hotel, and ran up the the top of the parking garage, where people were gathering to take photos of all the suiters. I managed to get a photo of the vast majority of the suiters in the parade, unfortunately, my phone cut off some of the suiters at the edge. Still, after photos were taken, I walked on down to meet Valdor, and take a photo with him! It made me really happy to interact with a fellow local fur!
After eating lunch, I set about looking for things to do and more people to meet. I met Thaddeus again, who gave me some advice on how to interact with suiters. I used that advice and stepped further outside of my comfort zone to try to meet many more suiters and people. I gave a lot of hugs, took a bundle of photos and selfies, and was really beginning to finally enjoy myself!
I then attended the dance competition around 3:30. The main floor was packed, and the stage lit up bright. I had to sit on the far end of a row, so I didn't get a very good view of the suiters dancing, but I was able to watch the livestreamed video on the side! One by one, as suiters came up to dance and be judged, they exerted such energy, motion, and emotion in their moves that I was simply blown away. What blew me away even more is that people would do these dances in a DIGITRADE fullsuit, which are the hardest kinds to move in! To do this, and to show so much personality in the suits they wore even after they finished their routine, made me ecstatic. It was like magic to me, and I definitely enjoyed watching everyone compete. Easily one of the highlights of the con.
After the dance competition, I walked around some more, gathered more photos and selfies, and attended an improv comedy panel after watching the fursuiter band they had on the main stage, "We are One." (I listened to them via livestream and not in the stage, because it was exceptionally loud there. Both the band, and the panel were fantastic. Before the dealers den closed, I got a photo of me and Cyamallo and said my goodbyes to him, which was easy on the outside to do, hard on the inside. He was everything I thought he would be, and more! I was surprised to learn that this was his first convention too! Learning that helped ease my anxiety as well.
After that, I waited in line to see the final event I would attend that night, the Masquerade, which was essentially the convention talent show. In the showbthere comedians, singers, dancers, and a heartfelt tribute to a New England furry who we lost this year named Winter (rest his soul.) I was surprised to see my aforementioned buddy valdorfox perform a sing-a-long of the folk song Lukey's Boat on the piano! I was told he does this every year, and he blew me away with his piano prowess! I couldn't have been happier to see him play and participate. Another highlight of the Masquerade, was the winner, a fursuiter named Damien, who had some stage fright at first, but after getting some encouragement from the crowd, stepped up the to mic and bellowed out her song. I was very proud of her courage and skill!
After the event, I captured a few more photos of folks and fursuiters, and reluctantly headed home. But boy, I wish I didn't have to. I went in to Furpocalypse unsure and anxious of what to do and how to meet people, and in the end, I wound up with one of the best experiences of my life. Furpocalypse was awesome, and I wish I could have attended for all three days of the con.
I do have a few regrets, though. One is that I didn't really have any way of letting people identify me as Ringgar unless I introduced myself to them. Unfortunately, I didn't bring a badge with my fursona's picture on it, as I did not have one. Nor did I bring any furry gear that resembled Ringgar's likeness, as I also do not own one. The only thing I had was a wool scarf that is similar to the one Ringgar wears, but of course, a scarf is a pretty anonymous accessory that could be found on anyone's fursona. I had hoped people would call me out if they say me and say "OMG! I know this furry!" But that did not happen. The best means of being identified as a furry is of course, having a fursuit, but as a recent grad with student loans, my dream of having a fursuit of Ringgar is a little out of reach. Going to the con made me want one even more, though! For now, however, I think I will look at possibly getting a T-Shirt with art of Ringgar on one side, and my social media handles on the back (I'm Ringgar on FA, Ringgar#5421 on Discord, and Ringgar on Telegram!) However, I would love to hear everyone's opinion on non-fursuit ways I can stand out be recognized amongst the mass of people at the con so I could make even more friends.. Tell me your ideas!
My second regret is that I did not really interact much with other people and fursuiters as much as I would have liked to. My anxiety and sheepishness going into the con certainly did not help with that either. My hope was that I could acquire more social media handles of the various people I had met, but I only had a handful in the end. What I really wanted to do was to make new friends; people I could talk and connect with regularly, and expand my portfolio of friends from all walks of life, or better yet, hang out with them and get to know them better! Sadly, most of my interactions with suiters were limited to getting a photo together and giving a hug. I might have been able to interact with people and suiters for longer durations and possibly hang out with them if I had been able to stay for all three days of the convention, but work got in the way of those plans.
In the end, I will always cherish the people who I met, and the folks who helped to make my very first convention great for me. I walked in a nervous wreck, but I walked out longing to stay for more fun and friendship. For those of you who met me, thank you for taking the time to talk with me, and I will always cherish the time I spent with you. I will definitely be attending Furpocalypse next year, hopefully for all three days at their new location, and I will absolutely be looking at attending other cons in New England soon! Thank you again everyone, and thank you so much Furpocalypse!!
TL;DR I walked into the con a nervous wreck, and walked out wanting to stay for more fun! I met lots of people, interacted with fursuiters for the first time ever, and saw so much talent and personality that I would like to share with everyone else in the same way! I do have some regrets, namely not interacting with people and suiters more, and not having a good way to be recognized. I am looking for good non-fursuit ways to be recognized though, so please share your ideas!!
Last but not least, the photo album of my day at the con!! (Minus the selfies I took with suiters, sorry!) Feast your eyes, fuzzies, and if you know any of the suiters or people in these photos, please share any social media they have in the comments! Thank you! https://m.imgur.com/a/ryxlnyP
Important Edit: I had been suffering from some post-con depression the Sunday and Monday after the con since I made this. I had a whole mix of emotions inside of me then. Joy, sadness, regret, and more. I think most of it stemmed from not being as recognized and the short interactions I had with most people and suiters at the con. I had gone in wanting to make more friends so that I could expand upon the variety of friends from all walks of life I have, and so that I could learn about their lives so I can be a more empathetic person. It is, after all, what I like to say: "Your heart is only as big as you let it be." That is a personal saying that I made (probably not original, but oh well :P.) And something that I like to preach to others. I was feeling down because I felt like I didn't live up to that at the con, and that I didn't let enough new people into my life. I felt like I was being hypocritical, and that people would realize that and wouldn't like me because of it. I just wanted to love, and be loved; to look up to people and be looked upon. As such, I was pretty upset.
I had a talk with one of my good friends Monday night, where I gushed to him all of these feelings I was keeping bottled up. After some gushing, tears, and choked up feelings, he helped remind me of something that, as I think about it now, I think I had talked about with him and other friends of mine when I had feelings like this before at another time. He reminded me that, it is good to have a lot of friends, but having too many can burn you out. As much as I would love to love everyone and talk with all of my friends on a daily basis, there are friends I have that I do that with, and others I do not. And that's okay. it's okay to have friends you chat and connect with more than others. It's also okay to have friends you don't talk to often, but still call friends.
It's true, your heart is as big as you let it be, but you shouldn't let it get too big, lest you leave no room for yourself. When I mention this, I do or course mean that it is good to open your heart to let more friends into your life, but I also mean that I would like for people to open their hearts to people of all walks of life, so that we might learn about them, and who they are, and in turn become a more empathetic and understanding kind of person. This is one of the good things I saw about the fandom when I first joined five years ago, how people were understanding of one another, despite their differences, and wouldn't hesitate to make a new friend. It's one of the good things about the fandom I saw and incorporated into my fursona, Ringgar. I don't want to be the only one who loves and is loved, I want others to be too, so that we can create a kinder, happier fandom and world. And when other people are happy, being the emotional mirror I am, I am happy. That is why It is my hope touch the lives of the people I meet, and help them be happier.
At the same time though, as I follow this mindset, I find myself needing to be reeled back in every so often, like after my first furcon last weekend. It would be great to be a close friend who talks with and check up on all of his friends on a daily basis, but I am only one wolf, and I can only spread myself so far. I can open my heart wide and try to let a large amount of people in, but in doing so, I wouldn't leave any of it left for myself. I need to be reminded at times that I cannot do that, but it is also okay not to. It is also not hypocritical to have friends that I don't talk to very often. I do still care for their happiness and well-being of course, as a friend does, but I can't do it for everyone all the time. I will have friends that I talk to more often than others, and that is okay, because in the end, I still care for them all, even if it isn't totally equal, and I will be there for them when they need me, or just someone to talk to or confide in, even if I don't talk with them very much.
As such, those short interactions of photos and hugs I had at the con, while not long ones where I would hopefully hang out with such people and gain a new good friend, are perfectly fine. I shouldn't try to become friends with everyone I meet, just at least be friendly. And while I can let my heart be large and seek to have a lot of friends, I shouldn't worry about keeping track of every single one. It is my hope, however, that I will touch the lives of those I am friends with, and that they will so, in turn, let their hearts be big as well, so while I may not be able to touch the lives of everyone, which there is nothing wrong with, I can do so indirectly, with the help of my friends, by letting my heart be big for them, and their hearts will be big for others. In doing so, I hope to spread positivity, empathy, and acceptance inside the furry fandom, and beyond. And when I see so others who are happy, I will be too. So the next time I head to a convention, I'll try not to fret if I don't get to talk to a whole lot of people after the con and make connections. Just a handful, or maybe one or two is fine.
So, with all of that said, thanks to all my current pals. And, as always...
I walked in about 8:50 in the morning to go join the registration line. I stood in line quietly, waiting to get my badge and go do something. Unfortunately, the badge printers were down upon opening, so I had to wait about an hour longer than it normally would have taken. Standing there in line, I didn't talk to anyone, just stood, and waited. Needless to say, nervousness was very much getting the better of me. I thought to myself: This the the biggest concentration of furries I've ever been in. There are actual fursuiters here, and I'm here by myself! What am I going to do? (Note: despite being a furry for so long, up until today, I had never seen a fursuiter IRL. This was a big leap forward for me.)
After getting my badge, I walked around the Red Lion to see where everything would be taking place. It was the early morning, so there was little activity inside each of the rooms for panels, the dealers den, the main stage, and so on and so forth. I waited outside the dealer's den for them to open so I could see what was what, and upon entering, I saw a colorful array of flags, fursuits, art, and so much more! It was hard for me to look in one place at a time! Despite all this, what I was really there for was to see a good friend of mine,
Cyamallo. Up until then, I had only talked with him on Telegram, but after learning that he would be attending the convention, I catapulted at the chance to attend this year to meet him! He was doing sketches of people's fursonas on the back of old library cards, provided to him by a friend of his. He was busily sketching away on one when I went to meet him, so we only talked briefly. Seeing someone I knew did help to ease my nerves a bit. I was still really sheepish and nervous to interact with anyone I didn't know, though. (Note: As much as I like talking to folks, I am TERRIBLE at small talk.)After meeting Scotch, I walked on over to the tabletop gaming room to see what it was all about. A few people had already started a session of DnD and various other roleplaying games on the tables. I sat down, looked at my phone, and tried my best to calm myself. I was shaking a little bit. Part of it was butterflies, part anxiety, and part fear. I had a bad mix of emotions in me at that point. Then, something very unexpected happened. I saw an old furry acquaintance of mine from the days of when I was just first becoming a furry, Thaddeus. We both had something in common: Magic The Gathering. He sat with me and we talked for awhile, and he gave me some really good advice: "Remember, you don't have to do absolutely everything here. You're here for a good cause, and to have fun! Take it at your own pace, and don't overwhelm yourself." As we played a couple games of EDH, I mulled over his advice, I felt he was right! After finishing, with less nervousness than before, I set out to the con floor to finally go meet some people.
It was around noon at that point, so fursuiters were beginning to line up for the parade. I decided to step outside of my comfort zone and wander into the main stage area, where everyone was gathered in waiting I was simply taken aback at how many fluffs and fuzzies were there. I didn't know any of them, and I wasn't sure about who to talk to! I wanted to get some photos (which I most certainly did) and to meet new people, so after spending a few minutes inside the main stage, I mustered up enough courage to go and talk with a fursuiter. The fursuiter in question whom I talked with, was none other than Zeni, the Lynx (who goes by ZeniLynx on telegram.)
I told him that I really liked his fursuit (which I most certainly did!) And that I wanted a hug and a photo. This was important to me, as he was the very first fursuiter I had ever interacted with. Let me say, hugging someone in a suit, is a feeling I had never felt up until now. It was like being wrapped in a fuzzy blanket, but with much more love and emotion. A mutual feeling of friendship and a common bond as members of the furry community. All of that wrapped into one, simple motion. I'm pretty sure I blushed.
After that, I walked outside the main stage so others could get in for the parade, which was about to start shortly. I found a spot to record it on my phone, and watched the incoming line of fuzzies waltz on by. Seeing all of these suiters, all with different outfits, personalities, and means of expressing it, made me really happy. It reminded me of my own fursona, how outgoing and sociable he is, and the parade reflected those characteristics in a myriad of colorful tails and scales. During the parade, I saw someone whom I also knew,
valdorfox. I was so excited to see him in the (flesh? Fur?) For the first time, as he was also one of the earliest furries I had known from my days of starting out as a new fur. And yes, he was as tall as he is in his photos! Seeing him turned a lot of my anxiety into joy, as I was able to point and say "Hey! I know this fox!" I had a hunch that he would be there, and I am so thankful he was.I followed the tail (no pun intended) of the parade outside the hotel, and ran up the the top of the parking garage, where people were gathering to take photos of all the suiters. I managed to get a photo of the vast majority of the suiters in the parade, unfortunately, my phone cut off some of the suiters at the edge. Still, after photos were taken, I walked on down to meet Valdor, and take a photo with him! It made me really happy to interact with a fellow local fur!
After eating lunch, I set about looking for things to do and more people to meet. I met Thaddeus again, who gave me some advice on how to interact with suiters. I used that advice and stepped further outside of my comfort zone to try to meet many more suiters and people. I gave a lot of hugs, took a bundle of photos and selfies, and was really beginning to finally enjoy myself!
I then attended the dance competition around 3:30. The main floor was packed, and the stage lit up bright. I had to sit on the far end of a row, so I didn't get a very good view of the suiters dancing, but I was able to watch the livestreamed video on the side! One by one, as suiters came up to dance and be judged, they exerted such energy, motion, and emotion in their moves that I was simply blown away. What blew me away even more is that people would do these dances in a DIGITRADE fullsuit, which are the hardest kinds to move in! To do this, and to show so much personality in the suits they wore even after they finished their routine, made me ecstatic. It was like magic to me, and I definitely enjoyed watching everyone compete. Easily one of the highlights of the con.
After the dance competition, I walked around some more, gathered more photos and selfies, and attended an improv comedy panel after watching the fursuiter band they had on the main stage, "We are One." (I listened to them via livestream and not in the stage, because it was exceptionally loud there. Both the band, and the panel were fantastic. Before the dealers den closed, I got a photo of me and
Cyamallo and said my goodbyes to him, which was easy on the outside to do, hard on the inside. He was everything I thought he would be, and more! I was surprised to learn that this was his first convention too! Learning that helped ease my anxiety as well.After that, I waited in line to see the final event I would attend that night, the Masquerade, which was essentially the convention talent show. In the showbthere comedians, singers, dancers, and a heartfelt tribute to a New England furry who we lost this year named Winter (rest his soul.) I was surprised to see my aforementioned buddy
valdorfox perform a sing-a-long of the folk song Lukey's Boat on the piano! I was told he does this every year, and he blew me away with his piano prowess! I couldn't have been happier to see him play and participate. Another highlight of the Masquerade, was the winner, a fursuiter named Damien, who had some stage fright at first, but after getting some encouragement from the crowd, stepped up the to mic and bellowed out her song. I was very proud of her courage and skill!After the event, I captured a few more photos of folks and fursuiters, and reluctantly headed home. But boy, I wish I didn't have to. I went in to Furpocalypse unsure and anxious of what to do and how to meet people, and in the end, I wound up with one of the best experiences of my life. Furpocalypse was awesome, and I wish I could have attended for all three days of the con.
I do have a few regrets, though. One is that I didn't really have any way of letting people identify me as Ringgar unless I introduced myself to them. Unfortunately, I didn't bring a badge with my fursona's picture on it, as I did not have one. Nor did I bring any furry gear that resembled Ringgar's likeness, as I also do not own one. The only thing I had was a wool scarf that is similar to the one Ringgar wears, but of course, a scarf is a pretty anonymous accessory that could be found on anyone's fursona. I had hoped people would call me out if they say me and say "OMG! I know this furry!" But that did not happen. The best means of being identified as a furry is of course, having a fursuit, but as a recent grad with student loans, my dream of having a fursuit of Ringgar is a little out of reach. Going to the con made me want one even more, though! For now, however, I think I will look at possibly getting a T-Shirt with art of Ringgar on one side, and my social media handles on the back (I'm Ringgar on FA, Ringgar#5421 on Discord, and Ringgar on Telegram!) However, I would love to hear everyone's opinion on non-fursuit ways I can stand out be recognized amongst the mass of people at the con so I could make even more friends.. Tell me your ideas!
My second regret is that I did not really interact much with other people and fursuiters as much as I would have liked to. My anxiety and sheepishness going into the con certainly did not help with that either. My hope was that I could acquire more social media handles of the various people I had met, but I only had a handful in the end. What I really wanted to do was to make new friends; people I could talk and connect with regularly, and expand my portfolio of friends from all walks of life, or better yet, hang out with them and get to know them better! Sadly, most of my interactions with suiters were limited to getting a photo together and giving a hug. I might have been able to interact with people and suiters for longer durations and possibly hang out with them if I had been able to stay for all three days of the convention, but work got in the way of those plans.
In the end, I will always cherish the people who I met, and the folks who helped to make my very first convention great for me. I walked in a nervous wreck, but I walked out longing to stay for more fun and friendship. For those of you who met me, thank you for taking the time to talk with me, and I will always cherish the time I spent with you. I will definitely be attending Furpocalypse next year, hopefully for all three days at their new location, and I will absolutely be looking at attending other cons in New England soon! Thank you again everyone, and thank you so much Furpocalypse!!
TL;DR I walked into the con a nervous wreck, and walked out wanting to stay for more fun! I met lots of people, interacted with fursuiters for the first time ever, and saw so much talent and personality that I would like to share with everyone else in the same way! I do have some regrets, namely not interacting with people and suiters more, and not having a good way to be recognized. I am looking for good non-fursuit ways to be recognized though, so please share your ideas!!
Last but not least, the photo album of my day at the con!! (Minus the selfies I took with suiters, sorry!) Feast your eyes, fuzzies, and if you know any of the suiters or people in these photos, please share any social media they have in the comments! Thank you! https://m.imgur.com/a/ryxlnyP
Important Edit: I had been suffering from some post-con depression the Sunday and Monday after the con since I made this. I had a whole mix of emotions inside of me then. Joy, sadness, regret, and more. I think most of it stemmed from not being as recognized and the short interactions I had with most people and suiters at the con. I had gone in wanting to make more friends so that I could expand upon the variety of friends from all walks of life I have, and so that I could learn about their lives so I can be a more empathetic person. It is, after all, what I like to say: "Your heart is only as big as you let it be." That is a personal saying that I made (probably not original, but oh well :P.) And something that I like to preach to others. I was feeling down because I felt like I didn't live up to that at the con, and that I didn't let enough new people into my life. I felt like I was being hypocritical, and that people would realize that and wouldn't like me because of it. I just wanted to love, and be loved; to look up to people and be looked upon. As such, I was pretty upset.
I had a talk with one of my good friends Monday night, where I gushed to him all of these feelings I was keeping bottled up. After some gushing, tears, and choked up feelings, he helped remind me of something that, as I think about it now, I think I had talked about with him and other friends of mine when I had feelings like this before at another time. He reminded me that, it is good to have a lot of friends, but having too many can burn you out. As much as I would love to love everyone and talk with all of my friends on a daily basis, there are friends I have that I do that with, and others I do not. And that's okay. it's okay to have friends you chat and connect with more than others. It's also okay to have friends you don't talk to often, but still call friends.
It's true, your heart is as big as you let it be, but you shouldn't let it get too big, lest you leave no room for yourself. When I mention this, I do or course mean that it is good to open your heart to let more friends into your life, but I also mean that I would like for people to open their hearts to people of all walks of life, so that we might learn about them, and who they are, and in turn become a more empathetic and understanding kind of person. This is one of the good things I saw about the fandom when I first joined five years ago, how people were understanding of one another, despite their differences, and wouldn't hesitate to make a new friend. It's one of the good things about the fandom I saw and incorporated into my fursona, Ringgar. I don't want to be the only one who loves and is loved, I want others to be too, so that we can create a kinder, happier fandom and world. And when other people are happy, being the emotional mirror I am, I am happy. That is why It is my hope touch the lives of the people I meet, and help them be happier.
At the same time though, as I follow this mindset, I find myself needing to be reeled back in every so often, like after my first furcon last weekend. It would be great to be a close friend who talks with and check up on all of his friends on a daily basis, but I am only one wolf, and I can only spread myself so far. I can open my heart wide and try to let a large amount of people in, but in doing so, I wouldn't leave any of it left for myself. I need to be reminded at times that I cannot do that, but it is also okay not to. It is also not hypocritical to have friends that I don't talk to very often. I do still care for their happiness and well-being of course, as a friend does, but I can't do it for everyone all the time. I will have friends that I talk to more often than others, and that is okay, because in the end, I still care for them all, even if it isn't totally equal, and I will be there for them when they need me, or just someone to talk to or confide in, even if I don't talk with them very much.
As such, those short interactions of photos and hugs I had at the con, while not long ones where I would hopefully hang out with such people and gain a new good friend, are perfectly fine. I shouldn't try to become friends with everyone I meet, just at least be friendly. And while I can let my heart be large and seek to have a lot of friends, I shouldn't worry about keeping track of every single one. It is my hope, however, that I will touch the lives of those I am friends with, and that they will so, in turn, let their hearts be big as well, so while I may not be able to touch the lives of everyone, which there is nothing wrong with, I can do so indirectly, with the help of my friends, by letting my heart be big for them, and their hearts will be big for others. In doing so, I hope to spread positivity, empathy, and acceptance inside the furry fandom, and beyond. And when I see so others who are happy, I will be too. So the next time I head to a convention, I'll try not to fret if I don't get to talk to a whole lot of people after the con and make connections. Just a handful, or maybe one or two is fine.
So, with all of that said, thanks to all my current pals. And, as always...