Hi all! <3

Feels like alot of artists leave because of AI ''ART'' Most of my fav artists and friends on deviantART start to leave more and more... Is it just me or am I going crazy...
I understand why but what can you really do against it. I really HATE AI ''ART'' too, but that does not mean you should stop draw or leave if you LOVE to draw!? I just don't know anymore... *SIGH*

Not only do I got hit with it, and spam bots constently on my ass which is pissing me off alot.
I want to see the REAL people, the REAL ARTISTS!!! That's the reason why I joined social sites to comunicate and draw with people. To find people with the same interests... :,(

I have always LOVE browsing around for amazing art all over. Because I am a fan of skillfull artists ART and creativity. That's what brings me joy and insperation when I draw. But I don't feel that much at all lately, as well as my online ''FRIENDS'' just stop be friends after learning to know them for years. I really don't understand WTF is going on!?
It makes me feel even more sad/depressed. Feels like I have no one anymore. I really don't like that feeling... :,(

deviantART is the plase where I build my own fanbase of. Where did the kindness of the people go, why has the world turn so cold and EVIL...
Just to find a ''NORMAL'' person to talk with is a pain. Every damn time wherever I go. When I talk about stuff I am interested in no one seems to CARE... :,(

Feels like I am always stuck on what I should draw too. I want to draw but I don't know what to draw or when. When I do polls sometimes to ask people what I should draw even then I am not sure if I want to draw that. Why is it like THIS!!! I really don't like how my life is, I feel desperate to find a real FRIEND/PARTNER that can help me in my miserable life. I want to feel LOVED...
Like it used to be back in the good old days... T_T;

What do you think about this?

Thank you for reading, have a nice day or a good night! <3

^^ Hi All! <3

I am back 7 days from Germany, and WOW it was something... Where do I start... Hehe...

First we went to: --> 1: (Rüdesheim) --> 2: (Rhen - Enkirch Mosel) 3: (Lübeck)
We was here first 2 nights, it was awesome --> (über den reben schweben)

We took the bus form my home town to (Rüdesheim) IT TOOK US 15 HOURS!!! to get to our hotel. Because for some reason the Germans like to shut down whole highways for no reason AT ALL! No road works just randoms stops here and there. It happened not 1 not 2 but 3 TIMES!!! We where stuck for 8 hours...
No wonder why they are so angry/grumpy/tired all the time. If that is what they going true all the time.

The second hotel was in the middle of nowhere, and it was very shity and no one spoke english. We where there 2 nights. The owners with mom/dad and daughter was very rude and angry at us. Because we where late for some reason. Even if it was not our fault. I guess they don't want guests in thire family ''HOTEL''... I don't know and I don't care. They were nice to me at least. Maybe they don't like older people, or was just annoyed no one spoke German I guess...

But atleast we was sleeping at a 5 star hotel the last night. ''THANK GOD FOR THAT''...

I felt lonely all the time on the trip, our group was fild with very old people. All they ever did was drink, drink, drink. So I felt like an outsider. But of course I spoke with some and some was amazed when I showed my art to them, it was fun. They where nice.
I had my mom with me so it was ok. Hehe...

Another thing that was fun, no one in our group could speak English.
So I had to help and translate sometimes, it felt akward and weird.
But I took it like a man and try to help the best I can.
I like to explore and try to speak with the lokals even if they did not speak english at all. But some did when we got tour guides I spoke with them all the time so I did not feel lonely there...

So we was stuck on the highway for 8 hours so we came to our hotal 2 PM. Atleast the owner was very kind to us and made some sandwiches for us. The hotel was ''AMAZING'' reminds me of old Disney Snow White/Pinnocchio movies.

On our way home as well, but that time we where stuck 4 hours, so we missed our bot back home. ''OH GREAT''...
The first hotel we sleept in was very cool and cozy. We slept there 2 nights. The tour gaids was very kind, so I tried to speak with him as much I could. So I did not feel lonely in the group. Because we where around the same age...

I could hardly sleep because my mom sounded like this every single night --> https://youtube.com/shorts/rXz6tx3d.....PN2z2Vk0JiAL2D lol... Sometimes even louder and different tones. So yeah, I sure was annoyed as you can tell...

I also woke up one night when I heard someone whispered loud in my ear, and asked for my help in a sad voice. To bad I could not speak German... That was a jump scare creapy... That happened at the bad old hotel...

I had some fun moments happened here and there all the time too. Hard to explain with words. Some people came up to me and spoke German, but I guess I look German...

The good stuff about all this I really loved German juice/food/snacks
I bought some awesome souvenirs I am very proud of. So it was a nice experiance minus the whole bus thinge... Hehe...


I am sure I forgot some things... ^,^
^^ Thank you for reading, have a nice day or a good night! :3 =^.^=

^^ Hi All! <3

I going to Germany for a week with my mom. :3
I am a bit nervous because I have not been to another country since China 2006.
So much have change in that time... But I gonna try to stay positive... :3

To see and explore stuff and hopefully have fun. Because my loneliness/depression. Is still a big problem for me.
I just want to feel happy again. But it is to much to ask for. ''Oh well''

I have lived alone for over a year now in my new apartment.
Still haven't find some kind of friend or someone with the same interest like me. Wherever I go it always feels like I never belong.
But it could be worse I guess so... I am just so fucking tired to be alone... ^^;

^^ Thank you for reading, have a nice day or a good night! <3 =^.^=

Hi all! <3

What do you think of AI ''ART'' in general?

You just start to see it everywhere now, it start to look very annoying and sad.
I just wish people would draw for the heart and soul.
Not just with a push of a button from other artists works... Hmm... :(

Have a nice day, or a good night! <3

<3 I FINALLY HAVE SOME GOOD NEWS ABOUT MY PC!!! <3

I now have a new monitor, But also I needed a new graphics card as well... *Sigh* It never ends... -_-; *SIGH* ^^; But now it works!!! ^^

^^ My mind is over the roof with exitment!!! I will put up alot of NEW art soooooooon!!! ^^

I need to get into photoshop again. So it will maybe take a while for me to get into it again. So you will see a bunch of sketches first I have been working on for a while. But maybe I will get into photoshop faster then usual. I sure hope so, need to get used to the new stuff...

<3 Hope you have a wonderfull day cuz I sure have!!! Take care!!! <3

<3 Hi all! <3
Hope you all doing well! <3

For me, same old same old... you know... >,<;

I have been in a weird place, play way to much Resident Evil 2 Remake. Just a few days ago I finished the game 3 time in the row on hardcore... And some days after even more... Boy I mush have been bored... ^^;

I have been cleaning my whole terrace it was full of thorn bushes, that have been growing between stone slabs cracks. With that I got like 20 mosquito bits...
I am like: ''how does it grow larger then me!'' and I am tall... It took me half day to get rid of it, but it felt good to get rid of it.
So it is more easy to take out the bike now without getting thorn stungd. ^^;

I got the bike for free by the way... Have been taking bike rides almost everyday have not ride a bike over 15 years so it feels good... ;P

Still hate my neighbours abov me. Jumping around... They throw garbage in a bush just outside my terrace. Throwing toilet paper out from their balcony and they just think for some reason it will just disappear like magic? -_-;
Some people for real... -_-; >:(

So I was really angry about that beacuse the wind make it come to my place. So I took matters in my own hands and wrote on a peace of paper ''DON'T THROW GARBADE OUT THE BALCONY!!!'' Atleast it seems thay can read, so far... -_-; >:(

It pisses me off even more, beacuse I used to work at a place you clean trash and weird stuff and it was not fun, it reminds me of that... I like it nice and clean... I also have been visited by a hare almost everyday, I don't want it to get hurt... -_-; >:(

My sister and I took a bike ride two weeks ago to the beach. On the way there we saw the worlds biggest swans right next to the road hissing really loud toards us like a cat. It was protecting it's children, but boy could they not pick a more worst place to have a nest it was crazy... O.O; O.o

Just few days ago, I was home watching some youtube videos chilling as always, I took a little peek down my floor, a massiv spider running really fast tords me I was freaking out. It looked like a tarantula. I am not scared of spiders, but boy it took me by surprise... xP :)

Does everything here I live now grow in BIG size!? It sure seems so... Hehe... xD

<3 Hope you all doing well! Thank you for reading have a good day or a good night! <3

<3 Hi all! <3

I have lived alone in my new apartment for almost 2 months now... I do like how quiet it is. Buuuuut now it feels like it is too quiet... Exept my neighbors above are veeeery noise... >:/

I have visit my sister alot, I take walks everyday, and doing chores to motivate me to keep me going...
People here I live now are very friendly, and even say hi. I like that it brings a smile inside of me but not ouside as much ''depression'' or some people looking at me if I was weird or something. Sometimes if feels aquward... ^^;

Buuuuut something importent is still missing in my life... I don't know how long I can take it...

I have lived in a city my whole life, and it became to much noise where I lived. But my depression is still there and my mental health is still very bad and now when I am alone all the time it drives me crazy... I sometimes wonder if I was ment to be alone.
I sure hope not. Hmm... :(

It has been a while I have put up art here, I still don't know how long it will take till I can put up art again it's killing me inside...
I have been drawing alot on paper, but not been able to put it up on social sites drives me crazy. I still don't have photoshop on my new PC... :(

<3 Have a good day or a good night! Thank you for reading if you care, take care! <3

<3 Hi y'all lovely people out there! <3

Well here we go... I have now finally moved to my new apartment!!! ^^
Right now sitting and chilling on my new PC which don't have photoshop so no new work for a while I am affraid... T,T
But I still have my old PC I gonna use it as a work PC and one my new PC I can finally play new games which I have want to do for sooooo long now. <3

Feels very weird to be completly alone right now with no cat to pet... I live closer to my sister now which feels nice, they have help me with alot of stuff. I feel so lucky to have a sister like that. I have purchased a millions of new stuff to my apartment. It's a pain but I sure hope it turn out well in the end. ^^;

Kinda funny story My bed weighed a shit ton, I feel so sore after that since I am not strong AT ALL. And I became sick beacuse I am a terible cleaner so I was a loooot of dust to clean and I got sick of that I still feel it burns in my nose. But hey ho it is what it is... xO ;P

I did not expect my new PC monitor screen light up so bright... It makes my artwork look a bit weird, maybe it is just me... O.O;

<3 Hope you have a good day or a good night! Thank you for reading and take care! <3

<3 Hi all! ^^ <3

I got an apartment now I will move in about 2 months YAY. So I gonna move away from my home town I have lived in my whole life. So this is a big step for me. I have want to move for so long but it is impossible to find apartments these days. But I guess I was lucky in my case that's for sure. Hehe... ^^;
I am a bit freaked out, but at the same time relief, it is a new start for me. I live closer to my sister so that's good. I really hope I can find someone who can help me be a better person inside. Find my happiness again. Maybe even help me to draw again who knows... <3

As about my art, as you probably have seen already. I have not put up art as often as I use to. Sadly my depression/lonliness have got alot worse. Feels I am never in the mood/inspired/feel to draw at all lately. I don't know what is going on in my head, I don't understand it myself. If there was someone who actully listened to what I have to say atleast once, but I guess not... <3

Feels like everybody who where my ''FRIENDS'' over the years just pretended to be my friend online. Just left wihtout saying anything,
''Like I'm I the reason? But I did not even do anything?'' *Sigh* I just don't understand what the fuck is going on...
Do I look scary, or is my voice to deep. A'm I a zombie or something?
People always seems to look away from me wherever I go. You know if you came up and talk with me, I don't bite. I like a good convensation. This was even before COVID was a thing. Well, I really hope this new apartment is gonna help me more with my life. so I don't feel more alone than ever... <3 :(

<3 Thank you for reading, take care and have a good day or good night! <3

Hope for a better future! <3

It can be better if you belive! <3

Be safe and take care! <3

Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays all! ❤

Hope you have a good day! ❤

Take care! ❤

Happy Halloween all! <3

Have a trick or treat... ;3

Have a nice day, and take care! <3

https://twitter.com/Joakaha/status/.....929069058?s=20

Have a nice day or night! ^^

Does the intense heat make you go little nuts sometimes? ^^

Have a good day, or a good night! <3

Yo...

It's crazy how well this song describe my life, in a nutshell lol... ^^;

I really love the song as well, listening to in way to much.
But it is so good --> https://youtu.be/GOxnzMTWkno

Hope you have a good day or a good night. <3

Hi all...

I have been in a bad place in my head I guess... ''Depression'' *SIGH*

I just really never felt in the mood to draw or don't know what I want to draw anymore. I used to have ideas what to draw all the time. Feeling good what I draw... :/

I have done a lot of sketches, and usualy I always finish one picture from start to finish. But for some reason my mind is a blank. Which don't happen often but nowadays. All the fu**ing time. I really don't like being this lazy... :/

No insperation, motivation, mood, friends, loneliess. You know it already by now, but it really pissing me off why I feel this way all the time. It's not helthy. I really want to find a friend to talk with the same interest, or just in geniral help me on my feet and show me the world I guess... :/

Have been watching alot of YouTube videos of people who find friends with same interest going to Conventions/Cosplay have a good time. Or Game/Art Livestreams when a them of awesome artist have fun time talking with eatch other and enjoying work...

Which I don't have, it just makes me feel more sad and lonely. It's like I am torturing myself. Like ''WTF'' am I doing. I used to be inspired to watch streams and other peoples amazing art... :/

I can go on forever, but most people probably don't care, I don't know... I really don't like to be so negative. I used to be so positive all the time, I want that feeling back... *SIGH*

Have a good day, or a good night, and thanks for reading~ <3

Hi all!

Bad news...
I have got tinnitus, and it is so annoying... :(

I have had it for two weeks now and it is so annoying. I constently hear a low noise in my left ear. Today it got even louder it start to making me worried if not little nuts... :,(

Have you got it?
What do you do to make it less noisy?
Or do you know how to make it go away?


Have a good day or a good night~

Hi all! ^^

Do you feel like people start to loose sight of what is importent in life. Like love and caring to other people these days?
It feels like people start to care less and less to others and start to think about themself more? <.<

Or maybe I am to depressed and lonely to understand... Hehe... ^^;

Take care and have a nice day or a good night! <3

Hi all! ^^

I feel like it is more personal when you get comments then just likes? Or is it just me? :)

Take care and have a nice day! <3

Hi all! ^^

Do you get the feeling when you try to talk, someone else is talking over you. Or you being ignored? :/

Take care and have a nice day! <3

Hi all! ^^

What kind of art do you personaly like to see the most from me?
Just curious to know what you like from my art. :3

Take care and have a nice day! <3

Have you ever woke up and half of your voice works? O.o;

Happy New Year All! ❤

Hope the new year will be better! ❤

Take care! ❤

Happy Holidays/Merry Christmas! ❤

Take care all! ❤