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Im still here!
Posted 8 months agowow, I haven't posted on this page in a while, not to say I haven't made any art, it's just mostly been my Penumbra Corp work... regardless, I have to post some of the things I've made during this year in here!!!
2024 Solar Eclipse
Posted a year agoHey y'all
Today was such a big day for me. I was able to take time off to go see the solar eclipse. The original idea was that my friend/roomie and I would go to Erie, PA to see it, but something in me thought that we should change plans and go to Cleveland, OH instead. Turns out that was the right move because the weather was perfect. However, it took us 3.5 hrs to get there and 5hrs to get back when it should only take 2.5hrs!!
This was a HUGE event. I mean, I totally underestimated the sheer number of people traveling from far and wide to see it. Mile after mile of cars, bumper to bumper shuffling their way towards lake Erie just for the chance to witness it! The travel was exhausting, and there were times I wanted to give up (especially on the way back) but this is the price to pay for being witness to a major event.
We met up with a local cleveland fur for lunch and then managed to make our way to a park on Lake Erie with more than 30 minutes to spare. Had a great time eating burgers and fries while we sat on the sidewalk. Slowly but surely the sunlight began to dim and excitement was building. I began filming, and Im glad I did. I was worried I would become too distracted by filming to savor the moment. In a matter of seconds, the daylight had left, and there it was.
I began to cry as I saw it, because it was beautiful and overwhelming. I felt the weight of all my pain and anxiety leave me as I was finally living in the moment. I get so wrapped up in my struggles that I forget that they're all ultimately meaningless, and there are bigger things than our lives on earth. for 5 whole minutes i felt dazzled and grounded.
I will never be able to forget this day, and I will think of the eclipsed sun whenever I need a reminder to stop overthinking and live in the moment.
Regards,
Midlo
Today was such a big day for me. I was able to take time off to go see the solar eclipse. The original idea was that my friend/roomie and I would go to Erie, PA to see it, but something in me thought that we should change plans and go to Cleveland, OH instead. Turns out that was the right move because the weather was perfect. However, it took us 3.5 hrs to get there and 5hrs to get back when it should only take 2.5hrs!!
This was a HUGE event. I mean, I totally underestimated the sheer number of people traveling from far and wide to see it. Mile after mile of cars, bumper to bumper shuffling their way towards lake Erie just for the chance to witness it! The travel was exhausting, and there were times I wanted to give up (especially on the way back) but this is the price to pay for being witness to a major event.
We met up with a local cleveland fur for lunch and then managed to make our way to a park on Lake Erie with more than 30 minutes to spare. Had a great time eating burgers and fries while we sat on the sidewalk. Slowly but surely the sunlight began to dim and excitement was building. I began filming, and Im glad I did. I was worried I would become too distracted by filming to savor the moment. In a matter of seconds, the daylight had left, and there it was.
I began to cry as I saw it, because it was beautiful and overwhelming. I felt the weight of all my pain and anxiety leave me as I was finally living in the moment. I get so wrapped up in my struggles that I forget that they're all ultimately meaningless, and there are bigger things than our lives on earth. for 5 whole minutes i felt dazzled and grounded.
I will never be able to forget this day, and I will think of the eclipsed sun whenever I need a reminder to stop overthinking and live in the moment.
Regards,
Midlo
2023 in Retrospect - Happy New Year
Posted a year agoHey y'all.
Hope your holiday season has been good. I had been thinking about making a proper journal entry about how 2023 went. Quite frankly, 2023 was the best worst year ever... if you get what I mean.
In October of 2022 I cut off contact with my mother. I wanted to end years of collective torment and anguish from trying to feel any love from her. She has always resented my existence, and treated me accordingly. I played very nice, I did a lot of the things good children do to honor their parents. I went to college on my own dime, worked while I was in school, but it was not enough for her. I was constantly threatened with eviction, I never felt truly safe, ever. Eventually she did kick me and my sister out back in 2020 so she could build a house for her and her boyfriend. She married that man in September of 2022, where the day before the ceremony, she snapped at me in front of my ex-partner so viciously. In that moment it was like a switch flipped in my head, in that definitive moment, after everything I had been through, I just didnt love her anymore. The "unconditional" love of a child was shattered, and quite frankly I havent felt the slightest bit of guilt or sadness for doing what i've done. For the sake of brevity, I will leave out her insane attempts to harass me once I did cut her out, but 2023 has confirmed my feelings for my mother, and assured me that I have made the right decision for myself for once.
2023 was the year my first -proper- relationship ended. We had been together for almost 3 years with 2 years of the relationship being spent living together. It was kind of like a dream... having someone to come home to, someone to share my life with. We had a lot of hope for the future, but things just never panned out... There was the slow burn of a dying relationship with the paranoia of not knowing if the new foe sharing your bed will hurt you. Theres the shame and embarrassment of others knowing your relationship is ending and their speculations over whose fault it is... We had enough. My ex moved back to California, and I was soon alone in Virginia to figure out how to move on.
Move on I did, I moved to Pittsburgh. To some it seemed like it was on a whim, but it was something that i've wanted to do for the last few years. My best friend summoned me. I rent a room in a house with him and two others. Its actually a quite nice place to be, and the city has really grown on me. Moving here has also done wonders for my social life. Only issue is finding work here has been pretty awful. Like a fool, I left my only stable job i've ever had back in virginia to move here. Im still looking for work... its been 6 months. I have an interview lined up after the new year for a bridge inspector position but aside from that, its been a tough market. I've been driving for uber in the meantime but it hasn't been sustainable. So, it goes without saying my finances are in the toilet. Im fully confident that once I fall back into full-time work that I can lead a much better life than I did back in Virginia, so I'll keep trying.
So yeah... 2023 was hard. A fucking brutal year. Not my worst year, that easily goes to 2008 or 2017, but definitely hard. I need some hope. I want to believe that in 2024 that my hard work to turn my life around will pay off. I have things I need to overcome so I can begin overcoming the harder things to come...
But hey, heres some good things that happened. I did alot of drawing this year! even did commissions. Alot if it was for my penumbracorp page, which quickly surpassed all my main accounts in popularity. I will be sticking to it in 2024. My art skills have improved alot in 2023, and I can only imagine how much I will improve in by the end of 2024.
The furry world keeps me going, and fuels my stubborn will to survive. Lets keep going.
Happy new year!
Hope your holiday season has been good. I had been thinking about making a proper journal entry about how 2023 went. Quite frankly, 2023 was the best worst year ever... if you get what I mean.
In October of 2022 I cut off contact with my mother. I wanted to end years of collective torment and anguish from trying to feel any love from her. She has always resented my existence, and treated me accordingly. I played very nice, I did a lot of the things good children do to honor their parents. I went to college on my own dime, worked while I was in school, but it was not enough for her. I was constantly threatened with eviction, I never felt truly safe, ever. Eventually she did kick me and my sister out back in 2020 so she could build a house for her and her boyfriend. She married that man in September of 2022, where the day before the ceremony, she snapped at me in front of my ex-partner so viciously. In that moment it was like a switch flipped in my head, in that definitive moment, after everything I had been through, I just didnt love her anymore. The "unconditional" love of a child was shattered, and quite frankly I havent felt the slightest bit of guilt or sadness for doing what i've done. For the sake of brevity, I will leave out her insane attempts to harass me once I did cut her out, but 2023 has confirmed my feelings for my mother, and assured me that I have made the right decision for myself for once.
2023 was the year my first -proper- relationship ended. We had been together for almost 3 years with 2 years of the relationship being spent living together. It was kind of like a dream... having someone to come home to, someone to share my life with. We had a lot of hope for the future, but things just never panned out... There was the slow burn of a dying relationship with the paranoia of not knowing if the new foe sharing your bed will hurt you. Theres the shame and embarrassment of others knowing your relationship is ending and their speculations over whose fault it is... We had enough. My ex moved back to California, and I was soon alone in Virginia to figure out how to move on.
Move on I did, I moved to Pittsburgh. To some it seemed like it was on a whim, but it was something that i've wanted to do for the last few years. My best friend summoned me. I rent a room in a house with him and two others. Its actually a quite nice place to be, and the city has really grown on me. Moving here has also done wonders for my social life. Only issue is finding work here has been pretty awful. Like a fool, I left my only stable job i've ever had back in virginia to move here. Im still looking for work... its been 6 months. I have an interview lined up after the new year for a bridge inspector position but aside from that, its been a tough market. I've been driving for uber in the meantime but it hasn't been sustainable. So, it goes without saying my finances are in the toilet. Im fully confident that once I fall back into full-time work that I can lead a much better life than I did back in Virginia, so I'll keep trying.
So yeah... 2023 was hard. A fucking brutal year. Not my worst year, that easily goes to 2008 or 2017, but definitely hard. I need some hope. I want to believe that in 2024 that my hard work to turn my life around will pay off. I have things I need to overcome so I can begin overcoming the harder things to come...
But hey, heres some good things that happened. I did alot of drawing this year! even did commissions. Alot if it was for my penumbracorp page, which quickly surpassed all my main accounts in popularity. I will be sticking to it in 2024. My art skills have improved alot in 2023, and I can only imagine how much I will improve in by the end of 2024.
The furry world keeps me going, and fuels my stubborn will to survive. Lets keep going.
Happy new year!
Moving to Pittsburgh
Posted 2 years agoHey!
You read that right, I'm moving to Pittsburgh! for a while I've been wanting to move somewhere new, I never intended to stay in Virginia as long as I have. After recently going through a break up, and a long anticipated trip to go see friends in Pittsburgh, I decided to make Pittsburgh my new home. Unfortunately, I am moving the week after Anthrocon... that's OK though, because I need to spend the first month of living in Pittsburgh getting used to the city and settling into a new job.
I was charmed by the city when I visited, in a lot of ways it fits my ideal type of city: neat architecture, interesting landscape, fun culture, good food, and relatively affordable. (oh and lots of furries.) I'm lucky enough to be able to move in with a friend! It feels like a safe landing pad, and I look forward to the opportunities for fun and adventure that may come.
I don't know if I will make Pittsburgh my forever home, but I'm just happy to finally move past living in Virginia...
All that being said, I'll see you at Anthrocon next year!!!
You read that right, I'm moving to Pittsburgh! for a while I've been wanting to move somewhere new, I never intended to stay in Virginia as long as I have. After recently going through a break up, and a long anticipated trip to go see friends in Pittsburgh, I decided to make Pittsburgh my new home. Unfortunately, I am moving the week after Anthrocon... that's OK though, because I need to spend the first month of living in Pittsburgh getting used to the city and settling into a new job.
I was charmed by the city when I visited, in a lot of ways it fits my ideal type of city: neat architecture, interesting landscape, fun culture, good food, and relatively affordable. (oh and lots of furries.) I'm lucky enough to be able to move in with a friend! It feels like a safe landing pad, and I look forward to the opportunities for fun and adventure that may come.
I don't know if I will make Pittsburgh my forever home, but I'm just happy to finally move past living in Virginia...
All that being said, I'll see you at Anthrocon next year!!!
PENUMBRA POSTS MOVING
Posted 2 years agoI'll likely make one more post next week as my final post regarding 
PenumbraCorp being the FA page where my penumbra related projects will live from hereon. I've already started posting on that page
PenumbraCorp being the FA page where my penumbra related projects will live from hereon. I've already started posting on that page-MOVING- Penumbra Gallery on FA
Posted 2 years agoIt’s exhausting to keep up with me sometimes. I decided to make a separate FA soni can have a dedicated place for my Penumbra themed arts. Please watch it if that interests you.
PenumbraCorp
There’s nothing there yet, but over the weekend I will begin to trickle in existing works there and post new work there when it gets completed.
All my normal art stays here! So thats not going anywhere.
PenumbraCorpThere’s nothing there yet, but over the weekend I will begin to trickle in existing works there and post new work there when it gets completed.
All my normal art stays here! So thats not going anywhere.
Profile Banners
Posted 2 years agoWow so profile banners are a thing now. I only found out because I clicked onto someone's page and noticed a lot more color than usual, LOL. Added my own banner to my page, love it!!!