*sighs*

Hey guys, its Scarfy. :)

I think rather than go through an entire year of how shitty life has been for only myself, I think its best if we take the time to really talk about what is to come for not only next year but the years to follow.

I’ll just drop the façade.

The entire year that led up to these last two months were long, strenuous, unpredictable and thankless. However, I think the feeling that some of us have right now is fear. Not necessarily fear of the unknown, because we already know we don’t have control of that no matter who is in power. But simply, the fear of the immediate, the fear of déjà vu, the fear of not being able to turn the hands of time, with only the ability of moving forward.

I’m sure for some people its just another day of another week. Another reason to drink to their hearts content, party like its 1999, with the occasional checkup of making sure our loved ones come home safely. I’m also pretty sure you’ve heard of many inspirational speeches from real life and make believe about how there is “something worth fighting for”, so I’ll spare you that rhetoric.

We’re living through a very interesting time where while we wish things could be better, we also don’t know what’s gonna happen in the long run. And perhaps, that is what makes hoping that the New Year will be better than the last. We’ve had events that shaped the course of years whether they started in January or began at November. But we shouldn't let those one months of the year shape the entirety of our year, we should look at the entire year as a package.

We're here for a dash of time, and, perhaps we forget that we're responsible for how we want to spend our lives that will make us the most happy. We shouldn't let a single person, entity, government or any high super power tell us what we can and cannot do. If you have a new dream? Go chase it. If you want to pick up a new skill? Go grab it. We still have time to learn, we still have ways to make it work. :)

As the clock ticks on, let's welcome the New Year with the wind in our sails and us discovering new places that we've never seen before, both the good and the bad. No matter the weather, we should always be encouraged to continue sailing.

Happy New Year 2025.

Hi, everyone. Its Scarfy. I know its been a while since I posted, but I wanted to talk about something that has been on my mind for the past few days that, I didn’t really think too much of it at first, but since the start of the year, and I’m gonna be going back to school starting next Tuesday, there’s been a lot of boxes that just kind of opened in my head. And some that I really need to talk to all of you about. So here goes:

When we’re young, and as long as our parents are not physically abusive, we think they’re the best people in the world. Myself included. But as I got older, I started noticing that things in my life were not exactly as they should. I learned some things about my Mom that was shielded from me, mostly because I was too young to understand:

She was sexually abused by her male relatives at a young age all the way up until she was in her mid-teens. Filling up her voids and hurt with alcohol, drugs of many kinds, including heroin and marijuana, eventually, I entered her life when she was 18, she would turn 19, a month later. It’s been a decade since I got to see my biological father. Unfortunately, because her hands were tied with raising me, she was unable to seek medical help for her mentalities and what she was struggling with.

So, she filled it with another thing, church. When you’re a poor single family, eventually raising two more children on top of it? Religion counts for a lot. You feel special. It’s like “God is gonna take care of you and your family so long as you keep following him.” And as the years followed, I believed that. My Mom graduated in nursing by the time I was in 7th grade in middle school. And we lived in a nice apartment, that I always thought came from my Mom’s and my Dad’s (the one who eventually raised me and my half-brothers) earnings.

They didn’t.

They came from student loans which my Mom and Dad used, which to this day I can only assume haven’t been paid off. And eventually after some, difficult fights. My Dad finally divorced my Mom, and since she could willingly, legally and above all financially take care of me, especially since she makes the most money compared to my Dad, my brothers and I were given full custody to my Mom, where my Dad could come and visit every weekend when available, while also paying child support, which for whatever silly reason (which is only between her and him), he never paid.

As I got older, and when we were moving into a lot of different places, from Santa Clarita to Seattle Washington, back to my hometown in California, back to Seattle again, back to California. I began to notice a pattern here. My Mom, was not in the right frame of mind. She talked to herself and rambled while she was driving. She would make very hasty and really thoughtless decisions when it affected people around her. And she said that she’s been struggling and hearing voices in her head that she couldn’t tell where it was coming from. And after my middle brother was taken away, I thought it was because he wanted to rebel against her, when in reality he just wanted to be himself regardless of how she felt about it.

And because I was 18 and really didn’t have any places to go or live and nowadays everything costs a lot, I had to stick with her for another 5 years before finally being forced to move into a group home that she put me in, that stripped me of my independence, what does this mean?

Every day that I live, I can’t have any medication on my person without asking for it. Meaning if I didn’t have any, I would either have to “deal with constant headaches” and tough it out, so I keep those hidden.

Can’t have sharp objects, weapons, heavy tools or chemicals like Listerine or laundry detergent in my room. And every Monday – Friday, unless stated otherwise or a holiday, I have to be out of the house by 9AM to around 2PM, and, due to being an introvert (not like being outside), I usually go to a Starbucks or something and wait it out, every Monday through Friday. It’s exhausting.

On top of all that, while the plus sides are that I don’t have to pay rent or pay a whole lot of bills, its detrimental to my other points of health. I should be learning responsibility that I don’t get to learn until I’m out! I don’t even own my car. And every day that I’m here, slowly drains a little bit of my patience, my sanity and most important, my tough spirit. Its thanks to that I even put up with this nonsense.

My Mom, in my opinion, needs help and she refuse to admit to that, or accept her two queer children, myself included. She stated that I needed medication or help and that I was a toxic human being. When I am the one who is now fully awake while she decides to stay asleep and pretend everything is okay, when it’s not. And she controlled every aspect of my life and my brothers lives until we left.

And now, finally, as I welcome the new year and the start of a new decade, I’m closer to getting my degree. And right now? I’m angry.

I’m angry that I had to look at my education as an “eyes on the prize” scenario. I took a degree that I found interest in, most definitely, and for the most part, its been fun when its fun. But I also have looked at it in a way of, not wanting to be poor or make the poor choices like my parents made. Where I could enjoy my ride, instead of having to basically pay more attention to get the degree that I really want and hold the paper in my hand, and what’s worse is… after I graduate, a job isn’t gonna fall right into my lap. *shrugs* I still have to look for that. And right now, all I can think about is trying to learn how I can survive.

I put a lot of effort trying to make others happy because they’re some of the best people I know. Lately, though. I’ve just been so overwhelmed. And I'm just hit with reality, you know, I earned that degree, but I also have to live up to it. And I still have to teach myself, so to speak. And, everyone has been asking me about what kind of job I want, and... all while it’s good to dream, I don't really know what's gonna happen.

In all honesty, I have a good feeling that my dream may not even come true. Because all I can think about is trying to SURVIVE. Let alone actually have a job that I enjoy that I get paid off of.

That’s really what’s been on my mind these past few days. And I'm worried, and I don't know what's gonna happen, and I can only hope that things get a whole lot better from here.

I've been in the fandom for four years, and I think its about time I should really tell you a story on how life was for me.

I grew up in a Christian home under a single Mom who didn't have a lot of money, I was the first born of my other two siblings who would be born in between 5 years later. She graduated in college as a nurse when I was in middle school, and was a devout mother, under God, she would put us through school and make us have the best lives we could possibly have and if we did everything that was considered "good, decent and pure" we would have the happiest of lives.

However, she went to a church that was extremely conservative and took us along to it, making a strict life conveyor belt in our house.

Every day or night we would have devotionals, if we got in trouble we'd have to write scriptures as standards over and over, we had the Bible argued at us when we did something horrific.

Church was no better. We were forced to participate in classes that we never learned in almost like Sunday school, driving in cars was stuck to members of the same sex to make sure that nothing of intimacy or sexual nature was taking place, I was not allowed to date outside the convents of the church, I even got a talking to for saying that a girl looked pretty as a compliment (before I knew I was gay, because at that point I didn't know), it was a very controlling environment.

Sex was also a thing that was considered especially scary. Sex was only to be used for procreation, you were not allowed to have outside sex, before or after marriage for mere pleasure. Masturbation/pornography, or anything outside of missionary position in sex was considered sexual impurity. And homosexuality was considered a big no-no, so I just figured, "Well okay, as long as I don't do any of these things, I'll be truly happy." And God won't send me to hell, or so I thought.

But as I entered the fandom my true integrity was being questioned because at that point, I thought I knew everything of what being right was as opposed to being happy was. My rightness was justifying other peoples happiness. And when the true colors began leaking out, my true self was beginning to unravel.

Unsatisfied, at age 21, I left the church quietly, because I felt like I couldn't be myself if I continued staying there and things were not adding up, I have not been to church in more almost 4 years now.

Life is different now. I'm in a community where sexuality is extremely open, pictures of naked animals drawn on paper are considered the norm as well as titillating to most (including myself). There's a lot more drinking, way more than I have seen. There's no lid, no barrier, nothing getting in the way of people wanting to be happy by any means necessary, even if it means being disobedient to what a parent tells you not to do.

And I'm sad. I'm sad that all I ever known to be true was a lie. I'm sad that I grew up in a controlling environment where I could not spread my wings and life had to be in a set pattern. I'm sad that I had to leave a lot of really good friends in an environment where sex is not heavily talked about unless for bad reasons. I'm sad that I was led to believe that life would be in a set path when every person has their own battle and even journey they're walking in life.

Better late than never? Sure. But this has been the toughest journey I have ever had to push myself to get to know a lot of people I had no intention of really knowing and so many friends in the fandom want to help me.

The fandom, while maybe not financially, has provided me stability both emotionally and mentally. I've been in a transitional period as a man, and its been certainly one long strange journey to finally go through.

I go to therapy with a therapist who wants to challenge some of the preconceived notions I have on people, as well as talk to many friends online who love me for the person I'm becoming, rather than the person I want myself to be.

I once thought friends couldn't replace family, because they don't necessarily provide the stability as family members go, but that doesn't mean they can't help, because they can. I was a lucky one to get out before it was too late.

There isn't a day that goes by where I miss going to church, and singing and listening to the pastor's sermon, I grew up with being religious and its part of me just as my sexuality is a part of me, and I've been integrating those parts as best as I can.

To anyone reading this who is struggling with wanting answers: taking it one day at a time is all you can do.

I've been looking on Twitter for a bit now and apparently, ever since the election of 45. I have this to say...

I work in a movie theater on Roscoe and Van Nuys in Panorama City, the people who mostly live there are Hispanic (some of which can't speak a word of English, which begs the question if they're citizens let alone permanent residents, but that's not the concern). Being a white man, while I get a bit annoyed at them for coming up to me and using Spanish as their primary language and having to sadly break the news to some of them that I speak very little Spanish, therefore, not being able to understand them, I will say this much:

They are people, just like you and me. They have dreams like you and me. They have ideas, stories, passions, wanting to reach for the stars like the people who were born from nothing to become something. Despite certain ugliness, they are the future of today's world.

And with the amount of bigotry, hate, fascism and just the sheer lack of compassion and even understanding, it just boggles my mind how I live in a country where racism and white supremacy being the "supreme and superior race" is still a thing, despite being 2017.

Why are people so stubborn? Why can't we all just try and see the bigger picture and focus on the real evil here? Why are people just so, goddamn MEAN to each other? :|

The Charlottesville riots in Virginia, have really started to open my eyes on things. I don't understand why certain people think that we are better than other people, when we are all created equal and SHOULD be treated equal no matter what.

America is a soil of opportunity in the world for anyone and EVERYONE, but when I see white supremacy and Nazis and all these other things that just, make me ashamed of where I live, it just proves that, we all need to stand together. We may have our differences, different beliefs, different morals, even different individual paths despite some of them that intertwine with each other. But if we just take some time, to be compassionate and understanding, the world could be a bit more brighter.

Discrimination will always continue and that's a hard fact of life. But, that doesn't mean we can't shut it down. Let's take the time to be more kind, more compassionate, more thoughtful, more patient, and more humble to others and see how people react to it.

I understand that religion in the fandom is a very complex issue, and if you're not religious, I do hope that you can give me insight either way. Usually when you're in the fandom its very open minded about everything. But after today, I was literally staring my religious beliefs directly in the face.

Mormon women came to our doorstep and was talking to another one of my roommates. I remember vividly leaving quietly from my church after I questioned certain aspects of it, realizing that a lot of the praise and worship felt phony, and I realized that the place would only cause more pain than it would good. So I took it upon myself to leave the church quietly, but it was the best thing I could do and while leaving, there was a couple scriptures in my head that was echoing in my ears.

For the sake of not turning anyone off by them let's just say the scriptures were in Matthew. In layman's terms:

Walk the walk, don't talk the talk and you can only do one thing in life or the other thing in life, you cannot live a double life.

I realized that I wasn't walking the walk to begin with, so I lost my faith after beginning to question my sexuality, and I felt like my mother had a lot of influence on me and it ended up with me living a double life so, instead I just, left.

And after Mormons came today, I began to grow sad inside, realizing that I haven't really conformed to a religion and for the most part since remained secular and just felt completely uncomfortable meeting people who knock on my door ever since for two reasons:

One, I'm not straight, because the common definition of homosexuality is still strong in Christian faith (and I wouldn't really be all that comfortable going to a LGBT friendly church), and two, I'd literally feel like I would be living in a cult again where people only pretended to do something by talking than actually do it.

All of this kinda ties in as to when my life is gonna be fulfilled once more with happiness. Part of me left a lot of good friends, but at the same time it felt, "cultish" and not at all pleasant. And while I don't have it in my heart to announce I'm atheist, I still do think that Christian religion that has taught me to love my family, be nice and help people is the most important.

I guess, what I mean to say through all of this, is that, I do miss church sometimes, wishing I can go back, but I can't. Is there anyway that you guys can give me some insight.

Hey guys, its Scarfy again. And I am hear to talk to you about my friend, who is by far the best person I've interacted with in real life in the fandom. And that's .

If I had to define Shutter, he's without, the biggest werewolf gentle giant I've ever seen and met in my entire life, and for good reason, because he LOVES photography and takes great pictures.

I've hanged out with him, I've watched movies with him and we seemed to have click on a very emotional level because even if he seems to not understand everything, the way that we were able to relate to was a glorious feeling. And he's awesome.

I'm sure you all have great friends to define, but, ShutterWolf is like my top 5 friends I've met in the fandom easily. He's kind, sensitive, has a great sense of humor and takes great pictures on his website... www.shutterwolf.net. And I've looked at that website, and I thought it was awesome.

So for your own good, don't miss out on getting to know him, he truly is, an amazing, AMAZING, big hearted person. <3

Fall semester is about to start, and I suppose the best thing I can tell you is that after much a trial and tribulation and a ton of waiting. My roommate has finally gone. I know I wrote a journal about this before. But let's just say that I'm just now starting to feel like I have no reason to be afraid ever since he left.

Problems with him had arise the moment I left for my grandparents house two days after school had ended. A couple weeks later in late June, it seemed that there were some problems with him in his head that caused him to go to a hospital to get some treatment which involved threatening a staff member. However, it would only be for a short while. Unfortunately, throughout all of that, my previous roommate made attempt after attempt to get back to the house, yet was unwilling to abide by certain rules that must be obeyed (again, too long for me to explain). That ultimately led to licensing getting into the middle of things which was not at all fun for the caretaker.

Now, I know you might be thinking, well, why couldn't you leave? Sadly, all of the places were taken and it would take too long to put all of that together.

Ironically, he did make it back to the house, but it would only be for a short time. For, the caretaker was thrown a chair near at by the roommate, causing a special incident report to be made, as well as a police report and an apprehension, which in this case led to licensing to get off her case after the incident was made.

All of his belongings and clothes were removed off the premises and last time I heard he is now homeless, I have not seen him for three months and counting, and I don't expect to see him at all.

...

*blinks for a minute*

I have never seen, someone, so sad, so pitiful in my entire life. Its actually, difficult to comprehend due to his own mental problems as well as most if not all of his family avoiding this individual for reasons because he has to get help himself. And, while I may be harsh with this statement, I have never seen a more unstable environment in my room. Ever.

While I am happy that he is gone, I also feel extremely sorry for him that he is unable to take control of his own life, turn it around and make something out of it. Especially throughout this whole time, of not being able to go to school, get a part time job, and always being in my room for no other reason except to wait for things to turn around for him, which mostly didn't.

I go to bed at night, thinking that he's still there and will wake me up when I go to sleep, because I had uncontrollable snoring which could have been silenced by some of the earplugs I got him. I look around in my room, thinking that he's still there being a slob. I hear footsteps all the time thinking that he'll enter my room because he wants to, thinking its him.

I have dealt with mental abuse before... but I had no idea it can get this severe, and its gonna be a long time before I can get into a right state of mind again.

Being made an uncle in less than 24 hours was not a feeling I'd get to feel at least right now. Its a very weird experience for me.

At one paw, I'm happy that my youngest brother is having a child of his own, and on the other paw, admittedly its a bit awkward seeing a child being born especially with my brother being a teenage parent (having turned only 18 just two days ago). I try to remain as optimistic I can be, buying a couple things for them and the baby, some bubble bath and a stuffed animal (wolf).

And in the end, I left feeling like I could only do so much for the baby, and I can't really do much else considering the fact that I've been in college (now looking for a job) and all around just trying to establish my life as we speak, because, there's still a lot to accomplish. My father, told me that I didn't really have to worry about the baby too much, and for the most part he's right. I'm there to be the uncle, nothing more, nothing less. In the end, its all up to the parents to take care of the baby and I wish nothing but the best for them (cause they're gonna need it).

Aside from that, (even though I'm thinking way too much into the future) I guess you can say, as a gay man, I feel jealous that my younger brother who is straight is having a child, and I can't really have it that exact way because of who I am. And while adoption and surrogate is an option, I just haven't have the heart to make an attempt thereof in later life. Its part of the reason why I wish that my newborn nephew turned out straight.

I still haven't really understood it because I've always been wondering exactly how I'm gonna have a child who won't be ridiculed, because of me (even though it seems unlikely). How are they gonna live without a mom? Or, how are they gonna be knowing that they're Mom is nothing more than a surrogate? All of these questions, on top of how a child would act has been stressful for me for a long while now, and sometimes when you want something so, so bad, you'll do whatever you can to get it. Being gay and wanting the natural way to have children however, is not possible (in a sense that I'm not attracted to females).

I guess, (until someone can show me that it doesn't matter if they're blood related or not) I'm just feeling sad.

Well, whether you love him for how much he's changed cinema in more ways than one, or hate him for being an exploitative cold, arrogant bastard, Quentin Tarantino has a knack for impressing the general audiences, movie buffs, critics and even a few old people who have no moral sense of value that can read how much of an exploited artist he is, was, and possibly will continue to be.

With his clever stories, unforgettable dialogue, memorable characters and scenes, gritty and downright bloody violence, and just some of the great exploitation ever used in cinema, Quentin Tarantino has a way of telling stories with as many of these as possible.

That being said, this is a list of Tarantino's most well known films, (in chronological order) that most people love. Now granted, these aren't all of his works, so please keep that in mind. These are the films that he has directed personally.

As a side note, I will be reviewing certain films like Kill Bill in its own separate category in The Whole Bloody Affair, including having Kill Bill's Vol. 1 and 2 take a fraction of the full review that link up to the Whole Blood Affair.

As well as reviewing the film Grindhouse with the collaboration of Robert Rodriguez, and also reviewing Death Proof separately, if it didn't have Planet Terror attached to it. Therefore, I will be giving Planet Terror its own separate review which you can read right here: http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/planet-terror/

That being said, take a look and enjoy! Here's the full list, in detail, click 'Read Review' to read about the films that interest you. Or you can simply look at them individually.

FULL LIST: http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/list/q.....-works/detail/

Reservoir Dogs - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/reservoir-dogs/
Pulp Fiction - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/pulp-fiction/
Jackie Brown - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/jackie-brown/
Kill Bill: The Whole Bloody Affair - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/k.....bloody-affair/
Kill Bill: Vol. 1 - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/kill-bill-vol-1/
Kill Bill: Vol. 2 - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/kill-bill-vol-2/
Grindhouse - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/grindhouse/
Death Proof - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/death-proof/
Inglorious Basterds - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/i.....ious-basterds/
Django Unchained - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/d.....ngo-unchained/
The Hateful Eight - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/t.....hateful-eight/

Let's be honest. Let's plays of video games have come a long way. We've gone from mindless entertainment, to creative videos that people pour their pride and joy in, as well as mindless entertainment.

However, there always seems to be a hate thing over Let's Plays taking over the animation department, and I seem to see that some furries who either love or hate Let's Plays don't like the fact that animation doesn't get enough attention as "posting a video of a random person playing a video game, and reacting to it".

So, I guess the obvious thing is to compare and contrast. I'm sure a lot of people can already say that making videos of people playing video games isn't that difficult, because it becomes a routine type thing. Therefore, animation is a lot more difficult, because you spend day after day creating new material, new scenes, as well as new interesting characters and drawings.

So... with everything I've just listed, how is it that a Let's Player isn't that unique or different?

Sure we have our PewdiePies and our Markipliers, and hell, even our Game Grumps that doesn't even look like it takes that much time to edit. But I'm not talking about any of those people. I'm talking about the lesser known people who do more than that.

For instance, take a Let's Player like Chuggaaconroy, in my opinion, the best Let's Player on YouTube. He's informative, funny, and studies a lot of interesting developmental history before playing a certain game. Yet, he has only a little more than a million subscribers, and yet has been around YouTube for at least 10 years! Now granted, he also has been on guest appearances for co-op videos as well as multiple YouTube channels just like a lot of well known let's players, but at the same time, as time has gone, with every game he's finished, he becomes more and more creative on how he wants a video to be done, and for the most part, its done very well.

One of the interesting arguments I have gotten into was that an animated video is not easy to make, nor is it profitable. And for the most part, they're correct. It is hard to spend so much time making animation of anything and creating a video out of it than it is recording a video game and making multiple videos out of it.

However, that doesn't mean a Let's Player's job is easy either. You would think to yourself that after a game is done, the usual formula for a new game would still stand with the same editing, bios, sidebars, side notes, and what not would remain right? Actually no, when a professional Let's Player like Chuggaaconroy starts on a game, he's dealt with hiatuses, emergency situations and so forth. And when he finishes, he also takes a well deserved break and soon begins working on a new project. And when you work on a new project? You're basically in kindergarten again. You have to make sure all the editing is done a different way, all the side notes and sidebars are different, all the pictures are different, the entire video is done different.

Now of course this is one person, and everyone has their own way of doing things, but, that's the point! Everyone has their own way of doing things!

I guess what my whole argument is is that, I see no difference in a Let's Player who does just as much work as an animator. The only difference is, is that Let's Players make more of a profit on YouTube, because, well let's face it, according to YouTube, a lot of people like video games more than animation. Not to say its bad, its just that, can you really say that animation is more difficult?

Written in 7/18/2016 - "So, its the Summer and I started to think to myself, what can I do to tie people over while Subwuffer Entertainment Treehouse is on hiatus. Something nice, wholesome and entertainment related, and well, considering that is talking about music, since my specialty is movies, this is what I came up with."

This is a list of all the films (in chronological order) that the production company, Walt Disney Animation Studios has developed: http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/list/w.....assics/detail/

Keep in mind that there is in fact some rules to this list on why you won't see a Disney movie that you've seen before listed here:

First and foremost, the films are all made by Walt Disney Animation Studios where films like A Goofy Movie, The Wild and others are not.

However, there are some films that also have live action into them like Fun and Fancy Free, however films like Mary Poppins and Bedknobs and Broomsticks don't count because they didn't go through the Disney Animation Studio. Don't ask why, I'm not the one who made the films.

Another thing I should mention is that why isn't until I get to the 90s where I start handing out 5 star reviews? Well, the biggest reason is probably because the films before that, the animation was dated, the stories were simplistic, and the films doesn't usually hold up to the same standards as other Disney films nowadays.

But that doesn't mean that any of these films listed are borderline terrible. I know it, you know it and we all know it. So try not to get too upset that some films get more attention than others, and at least keep in mind that some films I try to be a little more gracious on by increasing their rating by at least one star point.

Either way, this is just my personal opinion on how all of these movies that you love or hate and that we grew up with are made. If you like or dislike any of these films and think they deserve more ratings? Bring them up! I'd love to have a conversation with you in the comment section on why I gave it the rating I did. At least 2/3 of the films I gave are mostly 4 stars and that's usually because nothing really stood out to me or increased my expectations.

Also be aware that the "Like" button used is to emphasize that I really liked this film, and that is has nothing to do with the the rating at all. So don't get confused that I didn't enjoy the film more than I did others.

Here's the complete list again click 'Read Review' under the title to read MY personal take on it, or, if you prefer to click on an individual review, simply click the one you want to see, but personally, I'd click on the complete list. Also, films marked with [CC] means "certain community", that's you guys! Those are the ones that I think you should personally take a look at.

COMPLETE LIST: http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/list/w.....assics/detail/

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/s.....-seven-dwarfs/
Pinocchio - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/pinocchio/
Fantasia - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/fantasia/
Dumbo - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/dumbo/
Bambi - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/bambi/
Saludos Amigos - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/saludos-amigos/
The Three Caballeros - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/t.....ee-caballeros/
Make Mine Music! - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/film:39074/
Fun & Fancy Free - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/fun-fancy-free/
Melody Time - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/melody-time/
The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/t.....d-and-mr-toad/
Cinderella - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/cinderella/
Alice in Wonderland (1951) - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/a.....nderland-1951/
Peter Pan - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/peter-pan/
Lady and the Tramp - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/l.....and-the-tramp/
Sleeping Beauty - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/sleeping-beauty/
One Hundred and One Dalmatians - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/o.....ne-dalmatians/
The Sword in the Stone http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/t.....-in-the-stone/
The Jungle Book [CC]- http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/the-jungle-book/
The Aristocats - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/the-aristocats/
Robin Hood [CC}- http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/robin-hood/
The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/t.....nnie-the-pooh/
The Rescuers - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/the-rescuers/
The Fox and the Hound [CC]- http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/t.....and-the-hound/
The Black Cauldron - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/t.....lack-cauldron/
The Great Mouse Detective [CC]- http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/t.....use-detective/
Oliver & Company - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/oliver-company/
The Little Mermaid - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/t.....ittle-mermaid/
The Rescuers Down Under [CC]- http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/t.....rs-down-under/
Beauty and the Beast (1991) [CC]- http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/b.....he-beast-1991/
Aladdin - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/aladdin/
The Lion King [CC]- http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/the-lion-king/
Pocahontas - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/pocahontas/
The Hunchback of Notre Dame - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/t.....tre-dame-1996/
Hercules - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/hercules-1997/
Mulan - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/mulan/
Tarzan - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/tarzan/
Fantasia 2000 - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/fantasia-2000/
Dinosaur - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/dinosaur/
The Emperors New Groove - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/t.....rs-new-groove/
Atlantis: The Lost Empire http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/a.....e-lost-empire/
Lilo & Stitch [CC] - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/lilo-stitch/
Treasure Planet - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/treasure-planet/
Brother Bear - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/brother-bear/
Home on the Range - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/h.....-on-the-range/
Chicken Little - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/c.....n-little-2005/
Meet the Robinsons - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/m.....the-robinsons/
Bolt [CC] - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/bolt/
The Princess and the Frog - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/t.....-and-the-frog/
Tangled - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/tangled-2010/
Winnie the Pooh - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/winnie-the-pooh/
Wreck-It Ralph - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/wreck-it-ralph/
Frozen [CC]- http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/frozen-2013/
Big Hero 6 - http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/big-hero-6/
Zootopia [CC]- http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/zootopia/

If you don't like my review or don't agree with something that I said? Bring it up! I'd love to have a deep and meaningful conversation about it. ^__^

http://letterboxd.com/scarfy/film/g.....tbusters-2016/

So I heard through the grapevine that my roommate had finally moved out of my room and during that time I had to spend some time at my grandparents and not really think about him because it would have been awful if I had. I guess good things come to those who wait.

But at the same time, I am kinda sad because there's never have been a male roommate who behaved himself and you know while I and possibly never have to see him again, I am kinda saddened.

There's something that I definitely need to address here, and unfortunately, its a very clear picture on the mentality of people who use the internet to converse with other furries in the fandom. As a 23 year old, I have the ability to converse with many different people of all ages on other social media sites. Unfortunately, I do get a bit discouraged when I'm talking to a preteen or teenager who's still in high school or fresh out of high school. Because there's a big problem.

Conversing on the internet is different then conversing in real life, and I had to learn this the hard way too, as sad as it is.

There has been on few occasions where I have certain people DMing me, fave bombing me on Twitter who are not even age 18 yet. Now, I'll admit, I'm pretty sure I did this too. But eventually I learned how to converse with people and its worked out very well in my favor.

So, I need to ask you guys, are there age groups in the fandom? Like, at all? Because I talk to a person whose 41 years old double my age, and we're like best friends. But when talking to a teenager its like... I feel as if they have to be with their own age group. So I have to ask the question.

Why do I feel this way?

Hey what's up you guys? So this is a really hard journal for me to write, and I'm really scared. And, I never thought I'd be writing this journal, EVER. But certain events have caused me to finally say, "Enough is enough." I cannot fight myself any longer. And I just wanna be honest, and I'm making this journal because I also want to help people.

So, here goes.

For the past three years, I've been sexually confused. Age 21, was when it really hit me. At age 16, I think the first time, I experienced sexual feelings towards men was when I looked up gay pr0n on my Wii, (and I wasn't even allowed to use a computer), I lived in a Christian home in Washington, where these feelings were repressed, and I never really got the chance to explore them due to religious emotional fear. It was not accepted, so I just shut it down and repressed it.

And, you know *lays head on arms*... I wished that, I was 100% bi, because, then it would be easier to like men and women and therefore, I would feel like I didn't really have much to fear, and I would know what I was. But... I'm not.

I can't say that I'm bi, because that's not real or genuine, and I certainly can't say I'm straight either. And this is something that I've come through the conclusion through therapy and also with friends.

I am gay.

And uh, I said it out loud once before in therapy, and I never really talked about it publicly until now. And the reason why I'm talking about it right now, is because, I'm simply tired of fighting it over and over and not really accepting who I am, and its been the hardest thing to do more so than coming out.

Being in high school, and having AS, and just minding my own business, was a way to create a shell around me, like I didn't want to fall in love with women or men, so that nobody could look at me, I just wanted to be fucking invisible. I remembered people making fun of me for calling me gay, and I was really defensive of it, especially because I started rumors about other people being gay and I told myself that I wasn't and I never would be. Never been kissed, never went on a date. And... I did that and continued to do that until I was 23, well... not the dating part. And when it came to that, I always said, "No, I'm not gay, I'm not gay. Everyone told me that its wrong, I'm not gay." So, I just kept repressing the feelings. *stacks paws downward*

And then at age 21. I did something I never thought my religious hell bent mind would do. I got naked on cam with other males on Skype. *blinks, exhales through nose* And at age 23, I had my first kiss and it was with a male.

And I felt something, I felt butterflies. And I felt guilty. I started really hating myself and really being ashamed and scared, and I went on a journey of self hatred, defragmentation and exploring. And during that time at 21, I tried distracting myself with as much activities as possible, but no matter how much I tried, it eventually led me to contemplate suicide a couple of times. And then I realized I needed help.

And then I went to therapy cause I needed to figure out who the fuck I was. And my therapist showed me a spectrum. "Some are on the straight side, some are on the gay side, some are right in the middle." "Some are more straight than gay, some are more gay than straight, but everyone's on a spectrum. And, you just need to accept that you are mostly near the gay spectrum."

And it wasn't just my therapist who said it, it was my friends as well. And as the days went by, and the more friends I talked to about it, I began to feel like I was never going to be happy about myself because the more I keep it inside, I'll end up pushing my friends who want to help me away. And I guess it was because that I started to hate seeing people post pride events and bars and things like that. And to this day, I don't want to go to any of those things, because I don't want to give my family that satisfaction of me being a stereotypical gay, and that is not what I want.

Then on June 26, 2015. I told my Mom and came out to her. And she was really angry, and, I got really sad, because I didn't want her to think that I was trying to come against her, and she suffers from PTSD, and I wouldn't be surprised if that's how she feels towards that because of it... and *tears up*

I wish I could say I was bi, because that would be easier, "Mom, I'm bi, I'm sorry, but, maybe I'll be with a girl." But no... that's not what I am.

And uh, and that's what I've been trying to do for past couple years and not be so hard on myself, *cries* just be open to love, whether if its a guy or a girl, and, be open to it, adapt to it. Because, I don't want to go my whole life, closing it down, and then at like 65 I REALIZE who I am. I wanna live, I don't wanna hate myself anymore, I don't want to be sad all the time. And, a lot of things have changed since then. And now I'm in a place where, I don't know who I'm gonna end up with, I don't know what my life is gonna be, but I just wanna be honest about it, and I'm scared about going on a date with a guy, and I just don't wanna be guilty about it. I can't deny that I fall in love with guys.

I lost my virginity to a guy this year, and, I loved it. It felt beautiful it felt amazing, and I couldn't stop. It was one of the best moments of my life.

And I don't want to feel bad about that. But I also don't want to label myself, "Oh Scarfy, the gay wolf." Like... its not me.

I'm Scarfy, I'm a wolf, I'm a podcaster, I'm a writer, I'm a critic, I'm a furry...

and I'm gay. *exhales*

This is not going to be easy.

Beauty and the Beast (1991) is probably my all time favorite Disney Princess film (a concept caching in on the Disney Princess and fairy tale aspect). Not only was it nominated for Best Picture, it pretty much made light of any other Disney film, be it Up or Toy Story 3 to be nominated for an Oscar. At that time, that was unheard of. The story was great, the characters were great, the songs were great and the animation was unbelievable...

25 years later, we get a trailer (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c38r-SAnTWM) of a live action remake of Beauty and the Beast. And a lot of people are hyped...

Unfortunately I am not. Because I fail to see what this film is going to accomplish. But, that's to be said with most Disney live action remakes nowadays, trying to, "introduce a brand new audience to Disney with live action remakes of the original animated films". And while studies, REALLY haven't pointed it out yet. There's a lot more I could bring up with this movie. I'm not excited for this movie at all.

For one, making a remake of an original Disney film isn't going to win any awards like it did last time. Second, is the music. While they are getting the original composer Alan Menken to compose the film, sadly, I'm not too sure how they're gonna be doing it. Also, is Celine Dion gonna resing the song too? Third, the characters. Before I judge anything else, I can't really blame them for getting big name actors and actresses to play these roles. Unfortunately, I'm not really buying Hermione as Belle when all I hear is Hermione as Belle. No offense to Emma Watson. Fourthly is CG. I swear to Christ. Disney has a problem with not putting enough practical effects to blend in with the amount of CG put across it. Like for instance, make an actual model of the castle, and not have it all CG? Prosthetic makeup for the Beast, perhaps? (Even though I haven't seen it, I'm kinda guessing it to be CG sadly) and a few other things.

Honestly, I really hope this film holds up, but I am kinda afraid of it failing even though a lot of people are excited for this film, I just thought I should get out there.

A couple weeks back, we ended our S.E.T. podcast's season, because we realized that our beloved has resigned. We made a very choked up video about the whole situation if you want to watch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwERRLRDMDY

In all honesty though, I think its best we get to the nitty gritty of what we are looking for, but before I get to it, I must be frank. This is a position to a person who is willing to be a part of not only our life, take time out of your schedule, run the entire podcast, etc. But this is a position that we want people to be extremely serious about. No backing out of it, at all, with that being said, here are some requirements:

Applicants must:

-Be willing and able to speak clearly and for long periods of time on live broadcast.
-Be adaptable to fast paced impromptu conversations while also remaining focused & on topic.
- Willing to do research on upcoming video games and give opinions on them.
-Have or are willing to buy a good quality microphone.
-Have decent/stable internet connection.

To make your resumé shine all the more to us:

-Knowledge how to use OBS - Open Broadcasting Software (or similar streaming software) *
-Are comfortable using Discord (or a similar chat software) *
-Are a wolf (not necessary, but it fits the "Subwuffer" theme) *

To be fair, these aren't necessarily REQUIREMENTS more so just PREFERENCES. So if you're not a wolf, we won't take it against you. ;)

As we said before, this is a very huge job position to offer, so we're looking at those who are dead serious about something like this. While we want to make it convenient for you, we also hope that you make it convenient for us as well. So please, by all means. Send us an application at:

subwufferentertainment[at]gmail.com

And if we like your resume, we would hope that we could have a verbal meeting with you ASAP. So please. Help keep S.E.T. alive but if you want to cherish it? You know the drill. ;)

Hey guys, its Scarfy. I finally have some time to get something off of my mind about what has been going on as of late from January - May and so on, one of the biggest problems was lifting Subwuffer Entertainment off the ground due to the amount of roommate issues I've been having as of late. At a point in time, Subwuffer Entertainment could have been easily broken with the amount of mental abuse I've had to endure as of late because of roommate problems.

Lets take it back to December of last year.

I live in a place that's run by a regional center, a facility where they teach other people like myself how to function in today's world. I come home one day from school and this person who I have just seen after walking into my room and am both surprised and bothered at the same time. Due to the rules of a facility (which would honestly take too long and too hard to explain as to why people do the things they do), they have no choice but to accept a person who currently still has a bad position. This roommate for the past few months has done nothing but threatened my livelihood. Because I accidentally decided to make a choice based on other people not really caring about what I have done at night and not saying anything about it either. He's been nothing but bad trouble and has threatened to make stupid decisions over and over.

and I had both encountered this guy at the same time once before after deciding to make a decision that people didn't care before at all that apparently he did, and while I won't say what happened, we're both bothered by this as well.

Worst part? He doesn't have a job, he doesn't go to school, he does nothing but smoke weed almost every day and just lies in bed. Its despicable and disgusting to see, and the fact that he's still here is unfortunately very upsetting. He's done nothing but give me mental abuse ever since, and unfortunately, I can't really find any time to relax because he always wants to stay home and do virtually nothing all day. I can't really move out either, because quite frankly, I like where I'm staying, but neither I nor the other people who live there are appreciating this person either.

Subwuffer Entertainment was almost put into jeopardy due to the fact that he could have shouted on my mic at any given moment at any given time during one of my shows. And thank God, there was hardly anything going on. You could even tell at one point during the season finale, that things was getting hairy. Quite frankly, I was unable to express much opinions on this because I had bigger fish to fry focusing on my homework, projects, quizzes and finals. Subwuffer Entertainment faired no better, it took a lot of energy out of me, and I had very little to discuss about it.

Quite frankly my roommates behavior is so bad, that I could smack him or yell at him, only I choose not too because it doesn't solve anything and I also happen to be pacifist. I'm very slow to get angry, you honestly have no idea, I rarely get angry, to the point where my face is purple with rage and I scream at the top of my lungs.

I apologize that I haven't been able to express any emotion at this whatsoever, but quite frankly with the amount of work I was given and doing nothing but work at college, and SET, I was physically and emotionally drained at this point where he was less on my mind, but now he's actually more on my mind, which is good, because college took a lot out of me. Just thought you guys should know.

I just wanted to let you know that there's a lot going on this weekend involving finals, and other things. There's a lot of things that I want to get off my chest but haven't been able to due to the amount of school work that's been plaguing on top of me day after day, as well as keeping track of Subwuffer Entertainment Treehouse and finding another person who'd love to be part of our show to take Zack's place.

But sooner or later, I will get the chance to explain what's been going and all of that jazz.

As for moving to Furry Network, I am curious if I should stay here, or move to a better located vicinity now that I'm wondering if its worth what I'm doing. So, in the meantime, keep on the look out, but be forewarned, I may not be on FurAffinity as much as I used to unless its to answer to commissions and whatnot.

I hate to say this, but sooner or later, along with most people, I'll be following suit. I am moving all of my content over to Furry Network, I honestly just need a stable web environment and I think this is the right thing to do for now. So, around the first week of June, I will import ALL of my commissions and files to my FN account. I hope to see you later.

Well, how's this for a title, huh?

I guess it's time that I start coming up with some answers that I think I need to tell you. Ever since I was 20 years old I lived a very sheltered life, making sure I had a security blanket wherever I went. But now that I have moved away from parental authority, I made some decisions that had really changed my life in a lot of good ways. I was under a church where I felt like everyone was in a dream world and no one took anything seriously and it got to the point where I felt like it really wasn't the place I needed to be. And after leaving that place where I went to for most of my life... I must confess, I feel like my life has been a lot happier, but it has also gotten a lot sadder too.

There's... never been a time in my life where I thought of suicide as an option than this past year and a half because of something that I have just never been able to understand about. Because usually when people commit suicide it's because they're depressed, or its because they've done something they can't forgive themselves for.

As for me? Let's just say, the reason why I am feeling this way is that... I don't know how to be myself without really given a subject some thought before making an attempt thereof. Because... usually the idea for me has always been... think about your family, think about your friends. Think about what makes them happy instead of making yourself happy. And for whatever reason, I just haven't been able to grasp that concept due to religious programming and brainwashing.

I've held a secret for a long time and I'm just not ready to bring it up, because, I'm always thinking about that one person judging me for it. Doesn't matter who it is, how it came to be, or anything. And ever since I discovered it... it's been really difficult for me to adapt and as much as I want to stop, I can't really fight who I am. However I must confess:

I walk on a bridge, under it leads to a freeway where rows of cars goes in both directions. I think about it for a minute, how easy it is to hold on to the other side of the bars and let go as I fall, and then I just begin to feel sad and I clutch my heart and being to cry as I walk across, knowing that I can't because if I did, it'd only get worse whether it was a successful attempt or not. I can't imagine anyone seeing the real me, because ever since taking a look at it, in my eyes it feels disgusting to see the real me and allow anyone who isn't my friend to see it too. It's like looking at the mirror and noticing it's a of a monstrous wolf who doesn't mean any harm, but because he's afraid of what other people think of looking at it, it makes it so difficult for him to be shown in public to anyone, if that's an analogy for you.

I need to be honest with all of you... I... I don't like my true form ever since I discovered it. I'm always thinking about how other people see me more than ever and I guess my only wish is that I wish there was a way to stay hidden from anyone seeing the real me or better yet, ask for some divine intervention to take this away from me. Sadly neither of these can't happen. But I don't know how to accept it either, I tried and it's hard. :(

Some of you can probably guess what I'm talking about, and if you do, feel free to contact me, but honestly I know I throw this occasional pity party more often than I think. Quite frankly I wish I never made the choices I made, even though it was possible I would have made them in the future anyway, I wish I wasn't vulnerable, I wish I didn't have to face this fear alone, I just am too afraid to let anyone see the real me. Not even my family. :(

I went to Starbucks getting a coffee, right? Then I went in and stopped at a local donut store to go get me some donuts, you know those non-franchised places where all they have is cash registers and you can't pay with card? Yeah one of those, and there's tons of them!

Upon walking to a Starbucks, there was a hobo that was in between the Starbucks and the donut shop I went to, got my coffee, get my donuts, about to walk home, this HOBO was now located at the cross street and I had my headphones in, meaning I'm trying my damnedest for him to not get my attention or anything. He sees me carrying the donuts, right? He immediately begins shouting to me, "Hey! Yo!" desperately trying to get my attention, he appears RIGHT in front of me, as I ignore his line of sight completely until a car comes near me to save me from this god awful situation because the stupid light is taking forever to turn into "walk". I immediately had to take the next cross-street because of how desperate it was for me and how annoying it was getting for me to get there.

When it comes to homeless people? I don't do well. I feel out of place and that guy was cuckoo for cocoa puffs. At least for me he was. I don't know how people become homeless, how they can't live with mail, technology and so forth, but... man.

Is it just me or are homeless people excruciatingly over-represented in society? Because I feel that they're bottom feeders who don't even get a job, go to school or anything. :\

Hey guys, its Scarfy. Just wanted to remind all of you that I WILL be attending BLFC this year. Oh, and here's my meme stolen from  Kuhori

Hotel
Grand Sierra Resort in Reno!

Arrival/Departure:
Arriving the 11th, leaving the following Monday.

Means of transportation:
Flight

Sharing a room with:
 NordicDragon and others.

Who do you hang out with?
Lots of people!!

Gender:
Male

Preference:
Does it really matter?

Relationship Status:
Single

How old are you?
23

How tall are you?
5"11

Are you an Artist?
If you mean at writing? Then yes.

Do you have a sketchbook?
Sadly no

Are you a Fursuiter?
Pfft, I wish.

Which Fursuits will you bring?
Don't have any, sadly.

Attending parties?
Possibly.

Do you drink?
Yes I do, but I'm very careful with what I drink.

Can I buy you a drink?
Sure you can, if its in a bottle

Do you smoke?
No, but I have no problem with other people smoking either, I'm curious to try "special" treats though.

Are you attending any panels?
Mmmm... possibly?

Stage or public performance?
Nope!

How do I identify my self to you?
Come up and say hello! Introduce yourself, I cannot promise I will remember usernames or anything. I see lots of people, but I love to say hello! So please don't be shy.

Rules of engagement (physical contact)?
Shout my name, "Scarfy!", tap me on the shoulder, or introduce yourself to me, I don't mind.

How can I find you?
Look for the nerdy kid in glasses with the red royal scarf around his neck. Not too hard.

Can I talk to you?
Sure you can!

Can I give you lots of money?
What's the catch? :)

Can I give you stuff?
Sure?

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Snuggles! Most definitely! I love hugs too!

Can I come to dinner with you?
I have nothing better to do, so sure!

Can I invite you to dinner?
Of course you can~! I'd appreciate the gesture, I'd just want to make sure its in my budget of course.

Can I hang out with you?
I don't mind that at all, so long as your not stalker or anything like that. ;)

Can I take your picture?
You can if you want to. If its like group photos or something. :)

How do I know if you're not looking to socialize (angry, busy or upset)?
As part of a convention, usually I put on my headphones and walk around when I am trying to do something. But in NO way am I ever angry, busy or upset. Feel free to tap me if you want!

Personality Type?
I try to be friendly with everyone! I try not to get on anyone's bad side, so keep that in mind I'm not looking forward to start trouble.

What's your goal for the con this year?
I don't really have a goal other than to hang out with friends whom I've never met before or only met not too long ago, so. Yeah!

Hope to see you there! :D

Let's be honest. Zootopia is a great Disney movie, however, now that movie is out and I see for what the film truly is, and actually truly MORE than what it is, I'm beginning to wonder if the certain aspects of the fandom realize that.

And obviously, when I mean the "certain aspects" I am indeed talking about the NSFW arts of Zootopia.

First off, before you say I'm painting that broad of a brush, I have to say this right now, I'm not gonna name fans of people who like to draw NSFW of Zootopia's characters, because personally, that's their free will and I'm not one to take that away from them.

However!

Given the fact that this movie is really good now, and is a lot more than what furries thought it was gonna be, I'll be honest: I think Zootopia is too sacred a ground for furries to walk on in terms of drawing pornographic images of its characters. That isn't to say that this hasn't happened in the past before with other movies, but the story that film that they throw at us is a very adult story than it is a kids story. What I mean to say is, unless children can understand why this film was made, chances are the story will appeal more to adults than it will to kids.

And for those who made the pornographic images before AND after the movie was made, but mostly before:

Shame on you. I hope you take all that art and throw it in a fire.

Now, I'm not going to say there isn't any other cartoon porn of other movies, TV shows and other things. But at the same time? Personally? I think this is one of the RAREST moments where I say that the NSFW material drawn for this movie? Its TOO good for that. It doesn't deserve such a treatment like this. :|

While I can't stop people from doing what they want, I can voice my opinion on it, and I think that this film is to remain pristine as well as the fact that this is sacred grounds that should be walked on. Drawing pornographic images of Zootopia's characters after realizing JUST how much of a great movie it has with a very adult story in my opinion is truly distasteful. I am ASHAMED that a clique in a giant community is doing such a thing and every time I see it, it just puts a very bad taste in my mouth. That's really all I can say.

Two weeks ago, I came out as furry to my Mom, and I was under the impression that she was stopping her finances on me because I was taking her for granted, but the truth is I wasn't. As of right now, she keeps telling me that as a 23 year old man, I need to go to school and work at the same time. And for some people its normal, but for me as of right now, I value education more than anything, and because of my disability I unfortunately have a one track mind. So you may be wondering, "Well, why is your Mom doing this?" And to come up with the best answer, I need to give you some thoughts on my personal life.

Before I was born, my Mom grew up in a situation where she was sexually abused by my grandfather and other male relatives on her father's side of the family. She suffers from PTSD. And is always on an emotional roller coaster. And there was a point in her life where one by one our family begin to drift apart, starting with my middle brother who was reluctant to listen to what my Mom had to say, then my younger brother was the next to go, and then finally to free her from all this pain, she decided to put me in a place where I can take care of myself under certain circumstance and continue to go to college. And in my opinion as much as she is suffering, I feel as if she is being selfish and making up for lost time so that she can be free and do whatever she wants to do under her money and under her watch. I am very pissed and I feel very disrespected as a person who made a choice in her life to have me when she was 18 while she went and finished college while I was in middle school.

Right now, I am under a lot of stress, I am very upset because I do not know how to handle taking care of myself when it comes to finances and other things that I need to take care of. I feel as if she has dropped the ball into my court way too soon. I feel as if no one can help me because everyone has their own agenda and their own thinking.

I don't want to rely on others, and that's what this world has made it out to be, when it comes to my thinking. I feel weak, I feel defeated and I feel really sad.

I honestly need help, I have to file for a lot of things as of right now including SSI, talking with a case manager about my therapy bills since today was the last day that my Mom has paid for me, and possibly looking for a part time job? I don't know. I'm currently very busy with school work, as I said, "one-track mind", and I don't know how to break out of the barrier of valuing my school more than my job, education, to me is important.

All I can say is that right now, I need to start thinking for myself, not as selfish thing, but as a human thing. I'm very upset, I feel as if there isn't anything anyone can do. So, yeah. All I can say is that I'm scared that I'm going to make foolish and stupid decisions in life and right now, I need all the help I can get.

I had a very tearful goodbye with my psychologist, so, here's hoping that my case manager can work something out with him, or get SSI running, because I can't pay for it, and I don't know what else to do.

I don't even know why I wrote this journal, its such a waste of time. I feel like I'm venting. :(