blegh
Posted 4 months agoNgl it's been a hell of a semester for me and I really need to see a doctor about it lmao. Just wanted to apologize for anyone who's messaged me on discord these past few months I swear I'm not avoiding anyone, I just quite literally can not mentally get on it.
Ngl, it's been tough as hell trying to manage two twitter, discord, and bsky accounts AND a FA... combined with more modern developments and... you get the idea. My anxiety has reached the point of causing chest pain and ironically I'm too anxious to tell my dad about it because of my grandma having a heart attack the day before I was gonna tell him... yeah bad timing. Quite frankly everything seems insurmountable right now and I even failed a class I need to have passed for my major a second time because depression, ADHD, and anxiety have combined to create the worst concoction known to man. What's worse is that all semester I have been threatened and harassed by my downstairs neighbor, have had nothing but issues with student loan payments, and have had my computer break which rendered it impossible for me to work on work outside of my home and made it harder to draw because my old laptop was shittily made and improperly powered my tablet so my screen would shut off constantly while my laptop screen was already dead... yeah...
I don't really know why I'm even typing this outside of just trying to update people because idk I feel like my presence on here has been so impersonal when I don't want it to be but... yeah... go follow me on bluesky sharkshifting.bsky.social ig
Idk man... it's just been a lot and my anxiety causing physical pain in my body has been so horrible. I've been physically shaking, hyperventilating, nauseous, itchy, hot, and in pain every day because of it and it's just not been fun. It sucks because I've always been anxious about my art but, in a comedic mismatch of tone, Raccgoon ended up being where I almost had some of my worst anxiety attacks over my art. I was super worried that I fucked up the proportions, the lighting and shading sucked, and the background was a horrible idea. Everything was wrong to me. It wasn't the standard "I hate my art" thing that happens, it was a full blown "people HATE my art and actively despise it".
And quite frankly, I don't know what to do! It's horrible and horrible and a self perpetuating loop every single day. It felt like all of November and December was every bad thing that could happen happening at once and it's slowly bled into my art, which is the worst case scenario for me. It's fucked man. I appreciate all of the compliments I get on my art and they're some of the only things that keep me going when things are rough and I start panicking because I feel like I'm doing everyone wrong.
But yeah,, thank you for all of your support, it means a lot and I hope I can continue making stuff people like into the new year because that's the only thing keeping me going.
Ngl, it's been tough as hell trying to manage two twitter, discord, and bsky accounts AND a FA... combined with more modern developments and... you get the idea. My anxiety has reached the point of causing chest pain and ironically I'm too anxious to tell my dad about it because of my grandma having a heart attack the day before I was gonna tell him... yeah bad timing. Quite frankly everything seems insurmountable right now and I even failed a class I need to have passed for my major a second time because depression, ADHD, and anxiety have combined to create the worst concoction known to man. What's worse is that all semester I have been threatened and harassed by my downstairs neighbor, have had nothing but issues with student loan payments, and have had my computer break which rendered it impossible for me to work on work outside of my home and made it harder to draw because my old laptop was shittily made and improperly powered my tablet so my screen would shut off constantly while my laptop screen was already dead... yeah...
I don't really know why I'm even typing this outside of just trying to update people because idk I feel like my presence on here has been so impersonal when I don't want it to be but... yeah... go follow me on bluesky sharkshifting.bsky.social ig
Idk man... it's just been a lot and my anxiety causing physical pain in my body has been so horrible. I've been physically shaking, hyperventilating, nauseous, itchy, hot, and in pain every day because of it and it's just not been fun. It sucks because I've always been anxious about my art but, in a comedic mismatch of tone, Raccgoon ended up being where I almost had some of my worst anxiety attacks over my art. I was super worried that I fucked up the proportions, the lighting and shading sucked, and the background was a horrible idea. Everything was wrong to me. It wasn't the standard "I hate my art" thing that happens, it was a full blown "people HATE my art and actively despise it".
And quite frankly, I don't know what to do! It's horrible and horrible and a self perpetuating loop every single day. It felt like all of November and December was every bad thing that could happen happening at once and it's slowly bled into my art, which is the worst case scenario for me. It's fucked man. I appreciate all of the compliments I get on my art and they're some of the only things that keep me going when things are rough and I start panicking because I feel like I'm doing everyone wrong.
But yeah,, thank you for all of your support, it means a lot and I hope I can continue making stuff people like into the new year because that's the only thing keeping me going.
Sorry oopsies
Posted 4 months agoI may or may not have crashed out so hard and am in recovery aka cram mode rn! I have not really been on discord or replying to stuff for the past few months because of it and I haven't updated FA either. It's... been a lot really. But oopsies teehee
I kinda wanna see if I can get a small influx in watchers here for all of the backlogged vore because it would be really fun to see. Anyways I turned 20 today and I quite frankly have no idea how to process that. Oopsies! I still feel like a 16 year old now... although I've stopped caring about Xenoblade discourse so maybe that's a thing?
I've really enjoyed my time in the TF community and thank you all for your patience and understanding in my absence here and on discord. It's been quite a bit for me and I really want to apologize to the people I just have not been able to talk to because of mental blockages.
I kinda wanna see if I can get a small influx in watchers here for all of the backlogged vore because it would be really fun to see. Anyways I turned 20 today and I quite frankly have no idea how to process that. Oopsies! I still feel like a 16 year old now... although I've stopped caring about Xenoblade discourse so maybe that's a thing?
I've really enjoyed my time in the TF community and thank you all for your patience and understanding in my absence here and on discord. It's been quite a bit for me and I really want to apologize to the people I just have not been able to talk to because of mental blockages.
NOTES ARE A THING???
Posted 10 months agoI am so so so so so sorry if you guys sent me a note over the past eight months on here because I DIDNT EVEN KNOW THOSE EXISTED??? I'll get to them soon!!
I'll make it a thing to check them from now on but the easiest ways to reach out are through Twitter or Discord DMs!
I'll make it a thing to check them from now on but the easiest ways to reach out are through Twitter or Discord DMs!
Commissions open (again)
Posted a year agoTwo slots remain, refer to the twitter post and my kofi:
https://twitter.com/sharkshifting/s.....fvGgw&s=19
https://ko-fi.com/c/c6aff3231a
https://twitter.com/sharkshifting/s.....fvGgw&s=19
https://ko-fi.com/c/c6aff3231a
Commissions are open :)
Posted a year agoI have commissions up! Check out my post on twitter for more information:
https://twitter.com/sharkshifting/s.....BgWXQBSWXn24Ug
https://twitter.com/sharkshifting/s.....BgWXQBSWXn24Ug