I've had a lot going on in the past three months, or it just feels like it. The most obvious reason why I wasn't getting on that much was because I was having problems with my monitor, it'd take me several minutes of restarting my computer to get the damned thing working. It finally stopped working after awhile, and I'm too broke to buy a new one so I went without one for quite sometime. A good friend of mine loaned me his old one recently and let me just say, it is waaaay better than my old crappy one. Everything actually looks crisp!
Another big reason for my absence was because I was seeing someone. I really, really liked him, and even though we couldn't see each other that much (because of our work schedules), I would try to keep in touch with him as much as possible, and see him when I had the chance. My feelings for him grew very strong for it, he made it so easy for me to be comfortable with him; it felt like I could tell him anything, which I would. Anyway, so about a month ago, after I stayed over at his place, he took me to the park and dumped me there. I cried in front of him (I NEVER DO THIS IN FRONT OF PEOPLE. EVER.) and he just went about the whole conversation very frivolously like he didn't care at all. I was in shock and I felt alienated, so I just went home. Later on, I told him off through texts (I know, I'm a tough guy). In my life, I have never actually despised someone. But with him, I can actually say this. If I ever think of him, I just get angry.
Which this brings me to another thing going on in my life... I hate my job. But hey, who doesn't? Just like everyone else, I've been working there for too long to where I just don't care about it anymore. I was going through this bad habit of clenching my teeth when I would work. Combine this with being dumped, my teeth would actually feel sore by the end of my shift. It was getting pretty bad, so I've been job hunting. I've been trying to keep it all out of my mind with hanging out with friends. And well, uh, drinking. My drinking's gotten kind of bad, but I'll save that for another time.
To shorten this long-winded journal on my current situation, just a lot has been going on such, as my depression, yet I am trying my best to deal with it. And in no way would I intend this entry to bring anybody's mood down or bring sympathy to me. I really needed to rant and let you all know where the hell I have been. Anyway, I hope to get back into the swing of things soon, and post more stuff. :)