I still haven't even posted chapter 1 of my fanfiction yet, and I have to admit: I'm not done with chapter 1. Writer's block is a bitch. Depression is a bitch. School is a bitch. People are bitches. But despite the many factors that continue to make every day more stressful, the only thing I can blame is myself. I can't even write a single fucking chapter and I expect to write a story going through four years or more?

I was cocky, thinking that every word would come right to my head as I type, that it would be so easy. Little did I know I was horribly wrong. I can't even come up with a good way to introduce the characters, to bring them into the story without doing something stupid. Not to mention, I thought I had a plan for year 1, but here I am wanting to keep these characters alive, okay these three definitely cannot die for now, buuuuuuuuut I like this character and what they could bring to the story, and eventually, I shut my computer and give up.

I just wish I could put more time into actually working on this. Like, just twenty-four hours, in a room alone, no one to bother to me. Twenty-four hours where I can be productive without some other bullshit happening, without having to worry about college or my grades, without having to worry about stupid drama that I don't even wanna be part of. I don't want to be tired as fuck when I get home and end up passing out. I don't want to be tired in the morning despite getting more than enough sleep. I don't want coffee being the only thing keeping me up when I need to be up, and let's not even talk about the pains to my sides and my stomach that torment me later in the day.

There's also the fact that I can't even motivate myself to work on this or even log on to FA. Every project I've started has been left unfinished, and this will most likely be one of them. Life hits me at the worst times and completely fucks any plans I have. I wanna make this story reach its full potential, and I wanna make it all come together into something I can be proud of, but when there's time to work on it, something comes up or I'm too tired to focus.

I apologize to anyone who wants to read my fanfiction, anyone who even cares or knows about it. I can't make any promises for getting chapter 1 up or anything, because let's be honest, if I say I'm gonna have it up in a few days, there's just gonna be another journal months later explaining what the hell happened.


-Dalton