Content warning: Rape, love bombing, verbal abuse

 criticality (formally known as Ato Marten until sometime late 2023, and Valance fox before that) We dated for 5 months in 2023, from January to June. During the relationship he stopped all flirting over telegram and would get insanely angry if I asked or brought up how he was flirty up until the relationship. We were classified as closed as he told me he gets too jealous. He would State how he didn't want to be his old self. He wanted to only fool around when I visited. We were closed. On my second visit I wanted to figure out why he didn't want to flirt and if it could be something we did. Show him how much it meant to me that we could share intimacy outside of expensive and rare visits.

We had penetrative sex once on the second visit. I told him no after he got on me and he continued. I didn't want it at the time, he even hurt the skin under his foreskin during this interaction. I live with FND (functional Neurological disorder) which effects my strength and ability to be mobile. I froze and felt like I couldn't move. I felt like I was paying for all the times I asked him to flirt over telegram. I asked the next day if we could flirt more outside of sexual contact in person. As he lives outside of Toronto and I live in Wisconsin. He said he had a mental breakdown in a car while not with me, and screamed in my face, while in his parents basement.

I wasn't ready to admit to myself that he forced himself in me during that second visit. And through more prodding to flirt and some jealousy I had. He broke up with me in June. I freaked out cause he removed me from groups, blocked me everywhere, and warned those friends about me so I couldn't get back in. He was actually demoted from a mod in a furry discord called Mana forge because of kicking me without permission. I was told I had to remain out of the group. I had many folks I called friends who almost all turned on me. I shared on Twitter that he showed me revenge porn of an ex before we got together, and the furry in the porn posted on Twitter backing this up(I have the tweet). His Toronto community who he did charity work with also kicked him and posted that for years the rumors about Valence/Ato were too numerous to ignore. (I have that tweet as well as a former friend speaking out about him and a very uncomfortable sexual experience someone had with him). Over 20 people messaged me after I spoke out on Twitter. Anywhere from second hand friends seeing what happened to a friend, to love bombing, persistence/forced acts, cornering folks who were drunk at parties, etc.

I finally accepted it was rape a couple months ago. Im getting professional help, but I live with the feeling of that night everyday of my life. It's consumed me. I need to speak out wherever he may be. To stop this cycle of pain and discomfort he causes members of this community.