Hello there, everyone.

To be honest I’m not sure how to start this one. As you could notice, for a very long while I’ve been abscent and have been doing almost nothing at all. My personal irl issues and war in Ukraine pretty much have broken me in more ways than one and the last year has been nothing but a pure torture both physically and psychologically. I’ve been trying to cope with this in some ways, but in the end I decided to ask help from a psychiatrist and we’ve been working issues out for some time. Which in return made me see some things I tried not to see before... and make some decisions.

Due to some inspiration from some artists I’ve seen, I tried doing my own little fun mini comics named “C:G shorts”, where same characters would be put memeing or joking around. I thought that by doing these I will be able to release some ideas or some pent ups, but as I did those further, I discovered that on the contrary it worked aganst my own self. They worked as if I was trying to be somebody I was not, trying to get something other people had, yet I don’t... Despite me planning out nearly 50 of those on paper, the more I drew those, the more I understood that it was a useless deadbeating. Pretty pathetic, I know, but I guess I wanted to try.

I’ve also been planning out Code:Genom all this time. You know what they say, that when man suffers, they get inspirational and all that. This war that’s going has given me a lot of unique perspectives and thoughts that I decided to incorporate into the story of my own - the hypocricy of goverments, propagandas and all that... I have a lot of ideas boiling inside me that I wanted to share, but the more I was sitting and the more I was planning it out, the more I understood that it all would require an insane amount of work and motivation... that I simply do not have... No. Wasn’t able to find, despite trying.  This is a little “goodbye” post that is targeted more for me than anyone else, really, for I need to realise that I need to let go of this dream of mine.

Yes, I’ve been working on this universe for over 8 years by this point, I’ve written there my best ideas, my personal views, pretty much incorporated my soul, but what’s the point of continuing if there’s no one to listen to it, right? What sense is there to continue nursering the dream that doesn’t touch the souls of other people. It’s like lying on the operation table with your guts out, but still being completely ignored by the hospital stuff, picking up your entrails in hope somebody will fix you up after noticing, only to be left keep doing this until the lights fade out and you find out that you were all alone in the room from the start. This feeling is what I’ve been living with for years now and I’m just tired. I want to give up. And I think I will. I can no longer bear it, I’m disappointed, tired and frustrated all the time and I can no longer cope with it.

Whatever my dreams were, I think I’m burying them right now right here with this message. At the very least after I’m done realising it, I will finally be free of my personal torture, got rid of ambitions and be left with just now. Whatever the now is.

I’ve finally decided to close “Code:Genom” and “C:G shorts” for good. There won’t be continuation.
Code:Genom mattered a world to me, but to the world it mattered not. So it must be let go.