If there's anything I'd like to confess is that when it comes to art, I have a fear of practice.

While I do have aspirations to get better than how I usually am, it's always that I see what needs to be practiced, get overwhelmed and be like "Yeah.... no".
Or it would be like I would do practice or warmups to build a habit but then I get bored and then all motivation for drawing is gone. Plus there was always that constant fear of "What if I dedicated myself to practice and it goes nowhere?" Those were things that I had to confront and confess about myself when a certain YouTube video came on my feed saying "Why do so many artists fear practice?" by Vespertiliu and she made some good points on to not fear practice and used a certain Latin phrase: Ars longa, vita brevis which means "Art is long, life is short" by which she interpreted as that it takes a long time to master your craft and that life is short.

We're always telling ourselves "Oh there's always time to get to make art or get good at art despite the age!" and while that is true, what's also true is that tomorrow isn't promised for anyone and we really don't have much time to wait. And it hit me again like how it did 2-3 years ago... "Listen, you're getting old. There's no time to keep wasting and waiting for the right moment to create" that was the main drive of me making a comic because I wanted to make one. That's how I have to be when it comes to creating in general, regardless if it's just practice or not. I'll be 36 this year.... four years shy of 40. I don't have time to worry about trying to get good in a short time or whatever,because it honestly does take a while to become better at your craft. I just have to be consistent and tell myself that it's a not a race and you're not doing it to compete with others. I will eventually get better. I just want to create more and get into the habit of creating more. I wanna tell my stores, show off my characters for everyone to woo over again and again. As long as I'm still here and able, I still have a chance to make more.
I also must change my mindset too. Change negative affirmations into positive ones. Like instead of "What if I fail?" I'll change it to "What if I succeed?" and see what happens

It's been tough this first month... dealing with what happened with my mom, uncle and with me with this darn cold virus... I'm gonna work on making this second half work for me despite my difficulties and doubts... let's do this~✨