I have been telling myself for 2 nights that I should just suck it up and not post this. However I'm at a complete loss as to what I should be doing instead so here goes.

I dont have many watchers. The few of you that there are, I want to thank you for reading this. I have written in the past couple months about my situation at home but I need to get this out somewhere. My "family" is almost completely full of dar right conservatives. They are the type that think counseling is pointless because I should just talk to the family about my problems. Then they tell me my mental imbalances are just a thing I can stop.

How am I supposed to tell them I'm gay? I can't even tell myself. Im not even sure I'm ciss. I have hid everything about who I am got so long that I don't even know who ot what I am. I have EXACTLY three friends irl. Only one of which I can meet in person. There are no support groups in this area. There is nowhere for me to turn.

I just want to yalk yo someone who has gone through this. I judt want a shoulder to cry on. I just want out.

I hurt. From my head to my heart. I am trapped, physically emotionally mentally and spiritually. Please help me. If you can't share this to someone you think can. I want help but there are no hands to grab on to.

I live in Washington state in the U.S.

I can text and call internationally if needed.

I cant be regularly online as I live in the country and don't have good internet.

Please help.