So, what can I say? Well not sure how to really put things, but anyway I'll go ahead and do a brief update here.

For those of you who remember me from days past. I am sorry I left the community with little, to no explanation. I am sorry about that, and hope that some of you who remember me, knew me can forgive me for that. If you want to reconnect feel free to say hi! I miss a lot of my old friends, and know for a fact that I burnt some bridges with people just given attitude changes, how they acted around me etc. That sucks, but It's nobody's fault but my own, and I don't blame them.

Long story short:
I fell in love! Sounds great right? Well unfortunately it was no fairy tale, it was more of a nightmarish, foolish, miserable crappy situation.

I was so desperate/lonely (overly so) that I made the mistake of convincing myself that I was in love. That is bad enough on it's own right? But wait that's not all! This was quite literally with the first person who showed an inkling on interest in me on a more than friendship level. We talked, things went on from there as they tend to do, and within a very short time I knew he was the one! Well turned out that things were pretty good for the first few years. We were in a long distance relationship which sucked (1,000+ miles distant) He traveled to me once, I traveled to him twice over a period of 5 years.

I could go on and on about that, but like I said I'd try to make this brief. Basically things did not work out. I came to be very miserable because with him, I felt that I could not be myself. Got to a very bad point for me on a depression/suicidal level. Finally I decided that with the way things were going, and after several attempts to break things up, every one of which he successfully got me to change my mind on, convincing me to stay with him, making promises, and so on. I got to where I loathed myself, and started to hate life. This was all my fault for being an idiot and thinking that everything would work out and life would be great. I finally after almost 2 months of not hearing anything from him (and several months of barley talking) I decided that it was time to call that quits, and drop all communications .Even with the events leading up to that, breaking up was honestly one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. That is how messed up I was. Could go on but I'm already probably putting you to sleep!

As far as why I left the community, and a lot of you never heard from me is because of how dedicated to him I allowed myself to become. He hated the furry community, and most of the other things that I am into which he associated with the furry community. As a show of love to him, I changed my life. Quit participating in the local furry community, deleted all my accounts, and basically distanced myself from my life.

Anyway, that's all in the past now. I've moved on, and I am much happier than I was. Unbelievable difference in how I view the world now. That experience has no doubt changed myself, and the way I view things. After all that crap I'm back at square one. Few (one actual local) friend, and still just a lonely, desperate idiot, but now with more life experience.

So again sorry for those of you who I just vanished on, or may have upset. I hope you can forgive me, and feel free to say hi, or reconnect if you want. I'll leave it up to you as I can't blame anyone if they don't want to reconnect. Lesson learned on my end, and I hope things have been going as well as they can for most of you!

Looks like I only missed 62,014 Submissions, and 12,688 Journals WOW! Submissions for days!