Taken from  draugr, but he seems to have stopped at day 7. I had to trace it back to the blogger he got it from, who I'm pretty sure is here: http://abjane.co.uk/2015/02/

Day One: Define what ageplay is to you.

Now I want to start by saying this is how I feel about ageplay, not how I expect everyone should feel about it. I'm not saying your way is wrong if it's different, just that it's not how I personally think of it.

I know for some people ageplay is a sexual thing, but that's definitely not the case for me. To me, it's a way to relax and let go without having to worry about people rejecting me for actually having feelings, and instead actually help me work through them. Growing up, I used to be a pretty emotional kid, for reasons. I was also really affectionate, so as a very little kid I had a lot of support if I got hurt or something. Everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked as I started to get older, though. As I got bigger, it led to a lot of instances of basically being told when I was sad to just get over it, or otherwise having my feelings brushed aside. There were two main reasons for it. I think that greater driving force was that I'm a guy, and guys aren't allowed to be emotional. The other was getting older, in itself. I ended up reaching a point where I just stopped caring about anything on more than the most shallow level, and that kind of worked for a while. It's become a running joke in my family that I'm dead inside because even when people die, I just don't feel anything about it.

Usually I was told the standard line about how I was getting too old to cry and all that kind of stuff, but I wasn't stupid. I could see girls my age crying and getting worked up over much smaller stuff. But guys weren't allowed to do that. Girls would get comforted, guys would get told to grow up, but also that men don't cry. My sister is well into her teens and cried when my dad didn't follow through with plans to take her to the mall, or something like that. Nobody teased her, or told her she was too old to cry. In fact, she was treated like my dad had done some awful thing for hurting her so badly. Here I was thinking that it wasn't even a surprise, because he did that to us all the time where he'd just cancel plans last minute. I couldn't even imagine the kind of insults I'd get at her age for crying over something like that.

I like being a guy, though. Everything about being a girl seems awful to me. Now the exception for guys is being a little kid. Little kids can't really control their emotions so they get a pass on it. I think that's why I gravitated towards infantilism at a time in my life where I felt awful all the time, but the only "support" I had was being told to grow up and take it. It was roleplay where I was free to just act viscerally without being judged for it, and the focus wasn't on telling me to get over it.

Now I have a very specific form of infantilism I enjoy. I like to be treated like a child. To me, this is pretty straightforward. Oddly, a lot of people seem to have trouble with this. When I am in littlespace, I don't need to be encouraged to use diapers or bottles. In fact, encouraging me to use them feels so monumentally fake that it kills it for me. No one requests a child to use a diaper. That's not to say you won't make a child use a diaper when they aren't able to use the toilet, but you wouldn't actively encourage a child to use the diaper when they show a want and a capability to make it to the toilet, or sabotage their efforts to use the toilet. Same with cups. You might not allow a child to use a big cup because they'll spill, but that's not the same as encouraging them to use a bottle. You could give them a sippy cup, or even let them try with a plastic cup and water, and if they spill they get downgraded to sippy cup. This brings up stuff about playing a certain age, but I'll talk about that on the day where it comes up.

When I RP as a little, I RP as if I need those things. If you give me a cup in an RP, I will probably spill it. Not like pour it on the ground out of defiance like it's on purpose. More like I'll walk without taking it into account and splash over the sides, or lean over to get something and it all pours out by accident. The kind of thing a kid would do when they're too little to use it.

The other thing I absolutely can't stand is being teased. This is the thing that so many other ageplayers just can't seem to grasp. I hate being teased when I'm little. There are very few exceptions to this. Teasing is one of those things that seems fake, like locking the door so "the baby" can't use the toilet, then using that as evidence that they need diapers when they can't make it. If you saw an adult, or even just a much older kid making fun of a "baby" for needing diapers, you would just think they're a jerk, right? Since I RP as if I am a little kid, I can't imagine an adult would actually tease a kid like that, which means they're actually treating me like an adult, or they're a douche. Either way it's not fun. Exceptions to this are playful teasing that you would do with a little kid, or teasing coming from another little. Playful teasing can be like "got your nose!", or other silly kinds of harmless teasing. Teasing coming from another little, while still mean, at least feels believable. The problem with it is it really requires a 3rd person to be in the RP to act as an adult, otherwise my little side gets sad, but then there's no follow-through to it. It also just doesn't make sense to have two littles around with no big looking after them.

Which brings me to my final point. Being an ABDL to me is not a solo activity. It does absolutely nothing for me alone, and I just feel ridiculous. It's all about having someone bigger, stronger, and more versed in the world to lean on when times are tough without worrying that I'm just being a burden to them. Because a lot of the draw to me is acting like a child does, a lot of the stuff I enjoy can't be enjoyed alone. Diapers? The actual act of putting a diaper on is so adult that it kills my mood. Babies don't change themselves, they don't have the dexterity nor the responsibility to do it. I'm very acutely aware that I'm just an adult dressing up like a baby. And that's not even getting started on how I need to worry about if I used it too much, if I need a change, or all the other stuff that actual kids aren't thinking about because that's the grownup's job. Same goes for drinking a bottle. Who filled the bottle? Who's going to clean it after? I still have all those responsibilities. I don't feel little, I feel dumb. Having a "grown-up" that takes that role of responsibility is what really allows me to get into that headspace. I'll go into more detail about "big" roles relative to my little self on a different day when it's relevant.

So that's what being an ABDL means to me.

Feel free to start your own and post it in the comments.