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Artwork (Traditional) / Doodle
Species Squirrel
Gender Herm
Size 835 x 1000
File Size 128 kB
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A little bit of vent art I had late in the year in 2017. I had still not felt the same after the Meltdown of 2016, and I had gotten pretty introspective of myself and my situation. I am quite close to fifty years old, so it was easy to assume that my life was half over, and what did I have to show for it? Instead of a career where I could live comfortably and even afford some commissions, I had a Big Box Mart job that's been slowly pulling me under. I got to see another furry acquaintance get hitched, and even though SCOTUS ruled otherwise, I can't help feeling the government wants to shut down same-sex marriage in this country, ruling out my chances of ever wearing a ring. And even while I doodled more during my time away, I could hardly see any improvement, at least not enough for me to stay relevant.
My personal demons had strengthened, and just like the Crypt Keeps from Dragon's Lair, I could feel them trying to shove me into a nice, padded resting place. And the sad part was a part of me was in agreement with them. So much so that I gave up trying to reconcile with one other artist on here, as well as be willing to give up being a 'big bro' just so my own toxic life wouldn't infect anyone else's.
It was only a few voices that kept those demons at bay, even though I can still feel the pull even to this day.
My personal demons had strengthened, and just like the Crypt Keeps from Dragon's Lair, I could feel them trying to shove me into a nice, padded resting place. And the sad part was a part of me was in agreement with them. So much so that I gave up trying to reconcile with one other artist on here, as well as be willing to give up being a 'big bro' just so my own toxic life wouldn't infect anyone else's.
It was only a few voices that kept those demons at bay, even though I can still feel the pull even to this day.
Category Artwork (Traditional) / Doodle
Species Squirrel
Gender Herm
Size 835 x 1000px
File Size 128 kB
Yes, can kinda relate to those feelings.
In particular, the nearing 50 and life more than half over.
The "career where you can live comfortably and even afford some commissions" didn't really work for me. In particular as the management loved the rank-and-yank policies of the Big Box Marts and copied them. I saw incredible churn among professionals, and eventually got tired of competing with 22-year old recent grads. "Stress 'em until they produce or quit" was the general MO.
Left me feeling really fucking bitter and cheated. Again. Another bunch of years dumped into a company that didn't deserve me. There was no work-life balance, just work.
In particular, the nearing 50 and life more than half over.
The "career where you can live comfortably and even afford some commissions" didn't really work for me. In particular as the management loved the rank-and-yank policies of the Big Box Marts and copied them. I saw incredible churn among professionals, and eventually got tired of competing with 22-year old recent grads. "Stress 'em until they produce or quit" was the general MO.
Left me feeling really fucking bitter and cheated. Again. Another bunch of years dumped into a company that didn't deserve me. There was no work-life balance, just work.
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