
Category All / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Gender Any
Size 943 x 1350px
File Size 971.7 kB
Listed in Folders
Okay I have some criticisms I want to say because I really love your artwork and character designs and of course the pornographic content you produce but this story so far is alright. Reason why I say this is because so far their has been little conflict and therefore progression from the last chapter, the characters are interesting but they lack any difference and it's hard to believe after one round of almost rape fucking from the last chapter that they would become fast and inseparable lovers.
Probably would help if they their moments where more fleshed out then the several pages of porn, would've been great to see what their goals in his 'relationship' was and could've have that being a interesting dynamic where one wanted it be more 'romantic' while the other wanted it to be more 'sex' based which again would make it a interesting conflict while giving them similar goals or could be more cliche in having a rival.
Also the suspense of their love making is rather well boring because you didn't do anything particular with it other rise expectation, I mean would've been nice to not have his friend around so that way the thought of being caught would be more excited for us readers and the characters or maybe someone records them and becomes a conflict in the next chapter. Just examples. Anyways just wanted to put my two cents and out of the respect for your work I thought I should critic it. Have a nice day. :3
Probably would help if they their moments where more fleshed out then the several pages of porn, would've been great to see what their goals in his 'relationship' was and could've have that being a interesting dynamic where one wanted it be more 'romantic' while the other wanted it to be more 'sex' based which again would make it a interesting conflict while giving them similar goals or could be more cliche in having a rival.
Also the suspense of their love making is rather well boring because you didn't do anything particular with it other rise expectation, I mean would've been nice to not have his friend around so that way the thought of being caught would be more excited for us readers and the characters or maybe someone records them and becomes a conflict in the next chapter. Just examples. Anyways just wanted to put my two cents and out of the respect for your work I thought I should critic it. Have a nice day. :3
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