"-and then it turns out that they're long lost brothers!" Grace announced, barely stopping herself from hopping in excitement.

Lynn smiled blankly, an hour of exposition having gone in one ear and out the other without hitting the sides.

"Phew." Grace wiped her brow. "Anyway, that's why the show is called Demon-Fighting Brothers. It takes five seasons to get to that point but WORTH IT! I have some completely legal copies I can lend you. Uh. If spoiling all that didn't ruin it!"

"Nah, s'cool," Lynn said, coming to attention. "I'll eat it even if'n spoiled."

"Cool!" Grace repeated. "I'll get those copies for you next time we hang out."

Of all of Grace's many friends, Lynn was the most tolerant of her interests. She hadn't even once told Grace to shush in any of the long, one-sided conversations they've had.

Although... Grace was maybe being a bad friend. She would let Lynn choose the topic next time! She wondered what fun pop culture her new pal was into.

Grace heard ringing from the bell tower and realized she was going to be late for class. And that she'd been talking to Lynn so long that she forgot to eat lunch.

Oops!

She spotted a vending machine. Ah, modern convenience!

Grace plunked all her spare change into the vending machine and punched in some codes. The machine whirred, the holding corkscrews corkscrewed, and several packaged snacks fell into the chute.

The fox pushed the push flap and gathered all the snacks in her arms.

"I gotta go to class!" Grace said. "Wanna meet up same place as usual tomorrow?"

Lynn looked at the armful of snacks, eyes wide, head reared back. "Yah yah but where d'you get thooose? We been talking and you had those and just kept them secret from good ol pal Lynn?"

Grace laughed. Her pal was silly. "I only just got them from that vending machine. But I really gotta go, byyyyye!"

The red fox ran off, only having to stop to pick up dropped snacks several times.

Left to her own devices, the (Grem)Lynn usually just stalked Grace. Because she wasn't sure what she was supposed to be doing but she was pretty sure it involved Grace.

But today, she peered at the 'vending machine' suspiciously.

Food came out of this thing? Lynn could see food. She had tried to get the food the first time she saw one of these things but her claws just skittered off a hard surface. It was a lie. Just like those pictures of food that kept tricking her.

Not that she minded eating those paper foods. Just wasn't as filling as the real thing.

But now Lynn the horrible gremlin knew that somehow the food box contained food, she was determined to get it out.

Ellen, the orange tabby co-ed, was walking through campus and saw someone's kid licking the glass window of a vending machine.

Geez, people shouldn't just let kids run around unattended! Also, people should feed their kids!

"Hey, don't lick that! ... Or gnaw on it! It could have all kinds of germs!"

Lynn turned to Ellen. "All kindsa germs is what I'm trying to get! I can sees 'em but it's like an impenetrable food safe..."

"What?" Ellen had trouble understanding the girl. And the girl apparently had trouble understanding vending machines.

But it was sad. Maybe Ellen shouldn't get involved, maybe she was breaking some no junk food diet the kid had. But maybe Ellen didn't need to respect a diet if the parent or older sibling was just going to let this kid wander around unsupervised.

As the kid watched her owlishly, Ellen put some money in the machine.

"Which one do you want?"

Lynn jabbed a finger at a random snack and Ellen punched in the code.

And then the gremlin watched closely as the machine worked and deposited the bag of Sugar Bombs. Ellen pushed the flap and gave the snack to Lynn.

"S'wait... is juzz a window?"

"Yeah, something like that," Ellen said. "But look. Whoever is supposed to be watching you, tell them to get you a real meal!"

The girl seemed fascinated by the vending machine and was tapping her fingers against the glass. So Ellen said goodbye and went on her way, content in the knowledge that she had done a good deed, indeed.

What she didn't know is that she had actually unleashed the beast.

Seeing all the food kept just out of her reach inspired a couple brain cells to bonk off each other in the gremLynn's brain to create a destructive impulse.

Lynn found a baseball bat and started womping the shit out of the vending machine. Denting the frame, cracking the glass.

A college student yelled something but she swung the bat wildly at nothing.

"Hkkkk, keep walkin'! None a your business!"

And that student decided it was none of his business.

The glass window of the vending machine finally broke. Lynn tore into the junk food. And tried chewing on the broken glass too.

"Excuse me," said a soft voice. "That is not for eating."

"None a your business!" Lynn yelled, smaller glass bits spilling from her mouth. "Matterapinion! Agree ta disagree!"

Lynn looked up at the new visitor, seeing fluffy wings and hair covering eyes. Hm.

"If you promise not to eat any more glass, I will give you a piece of pizza," Felicity offered.

"Pizza piece a what?"

The woman opened the cardboard box she was holding and an enticing scent wafted out.

"Hmm, yah yah, okay. I pronise."

Felicity pulled a droopy triangle from the box and gave it to Lynn who immediately stuffed it in her mouth.

"Piece a pretty good, lady," Lynn declared.

Felicity stared at Lynn and Lynn stared right back. Finally, Felicity spoke what was on her mind.

"May I ask what a gremlin is doing at Grimaldi University?" Felicity asked.

"Pffff, what's a fuckin' sphinx doing not on mountain? Mind your business, keep walkin'!"

"... As you say. I felt an odd premonition but I don't think it is you."

And the sphinx kept walking.

Lynn watched her go.

And she watched a van stop, strange people pull her into it, and then drive away.

Lynn wandered over and retrieved the dropped box a piece a and scarfed down the triangles with glass shard garnish.

What a nice lady, actually. Introduced her to a new food. She'd never forget... wassername.

And then Lynn's fun adventure with the vending machine ended when the campus police showed up and the gremlin scampered away clutching as much as she could carry.

---

Lynn the horrible gremlin owned by me
Art by @X_Manino over on Twitter