Draeve can actually tell that Minnie is a girl. She's just being polite.

As for red steel, I'm not sure if I'll get the chance to explain it later within the comic itself. I'll definitely try to explain it diegetically but until then: Red steel is one of the oldest Human spelleries. It's presumed to have been created after Humans first arrived in Terrelai, some thousand years ago or so as a way to tame the strange wildlife that they first encountered, although taming animals isn't actually something that red steel does.

Red steel is a magic spell that creates traps, shackles, cages or anything that can constrain another creature for an indefinite amount of time and can only be removed using a red steel key, which is another kind of spell.

There is simply no other way for Draeve to lose her shackles until she and Minnie finds someone who can get them a red steel key. Most other kein in Terrelai consider red steel to be a cruel and inhumane type of magic that shows just how deep the Humans of Terrelai will stoop to control whatever their eyes see.

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