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My Dad has passed away.
8 years agoNot the way you want your 4th of July to start right..?
I'm broken hearted and heavy to announce on June 30th, I and my friend Seth (Nero) found my father dead in his home. When we found him, to my knowledge and to the EMT's, he has been deceased over a span of 12 hours. Cause of dead was decisive but we quickly settled it to being.. just time. For going through kidney failure and dialysis, medications and open heart bypasses...for over 13 years. It's taken its toll on him...and it finally happened. It has...taken a serious toll on me as well. I am coping in the best way I can, being among friends and family, keeping in mind about the good times...good and bad... It just feels like though...I lost a piece that can never come back. It felt like it was sucked out of me from my chest. Sometimes it hits me that I just can't believe he's gone... More than a few have said they are surprised how strong I'm going through this. The point of that is because... I knew this would happen, only in the back of my mind..but it was there. There were nights I cried myself to sleep. One day knowing I'll sleep and when I wake, he would be gone. I have been preparing myself for this for some time...you'd think it be easy.. but no, something like this...is never that.
Me being his only son, I have taken the point man position of his services. Upon my dads request, from way back in 2007 crazy enough, he is to be cremated. Possibly may scatter his ashes into one of the many lakes here in Lake County, for he loved this land here.
He brought so much of me out...he got me into so much that now nearly reflects me to this day. Gaming is a huge one he got me into. He use to play with the beta testers of the original Team Fortress game, Quake 1 and even Mechwarrior 1 and 2. He'd be on certain news letters and helping them out. My dad used to work for Motorola, and knew his way around electric mechanics, mainly computers. Maybe its why I enjoy and appreciate technology so much. I don't remember but be told me, when I was around 4 or so, he'd sit me on his lap and help run Doom 2 for me, and I loved it. The birth of a gamer right? Both my parents were happy I found the furry fandom. My dad was the first. It was all about trust and family. For example, my first fur-con cross country was Anthrocon 2008. Here I was going, on a trip with a couple 20 year old's when I was 16, he slapped $300 in my hand and told me 'Have fun, be safe, and don't do anything stupid'. So I enjoyed my con with friends and my first real furry experience and never broke his trust ^^ I can say, he urged me into the fandom. Most of all... he taught me to chase my dreams, and be the person I am.
Of course there were thing's I wish he could have done better. I wish he was better financially secure. There were days he'd ask for help when I'm stripped. Even if I don't have enough, I still help him someway, I'm probably stubborn. I wish he wasn't lazy. It just looked like he given up on life and just allowed himself to go down this road. From his point of view I can understand, going through dialysis for years and constantly going to hospitals and getting tubes poked in your arms and chest. It was a constant battle... and he fought well, for 13 years of this. He deserves his rest...
There is still so much I can talk about my dad, but I just really wanted to get the word out. I'm still processing this... but I know for certain, I'm not alone. My friends and my family, have been there every second of the way for me... and I can never be so grateful for them... I wouldn't be able to get through this without my best bud Seth, who stuck with me every second when this started...Thank you brother... To my honey bear, Clemikou, for being there when I was in absolute dire straights, the one who understands me the most, when I lose faith she brings it back to me, when I feel in a dark tunnel...she wouldn't be holding the light, she is the light, and that's all I need right now, and her light shines brightly. I love you so very much my honey baby...Thank you so much <3 I would be lost without the both of you... and without my friends, and my family. The best way to cope... we stick together. There are still so many I wish to address thanks but...eh...too much writing X3
I am so glad, he is someplace better...no more pain, no more medicine, no more cold blizzards or blistering hot days... he is free.
So for now...that's all I can say. Happy 4th of July as well everyone. Thank you for reading this far, and thank you, so much..
Mark Wolford
05/16/1961 - 06/30/2017
I love you dad. I won't stop fighting and I'll make you proud. I promise.
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